Discussion about physical & mental health intersecting with misogyny

sleepykittn · 2021-03-18T15:38:40+00:00

One idea is a female doctor, they can be as dismissive as the men but men are more likely dismissive since they dont experience what we do.

The fact men did studies comparing a kick to the testicles compared to the pain of labor..would seem to justify my opinion 😑 As if a kick to the nuts is a natural phenomenon. Probably deserved it so why is it a contest of pity? 🙄 scrotes just cannot handle the concept of empathy towards women..

CandidKick · 2021-03-18T18:56:44+00:00

Yes. I was disregarded by doctors and even ‘mistreated’ by one. The first chance I had, I got a female doctor. It changed my life. A long term issue I had she checked and treated the first couple of appointments. She listens to my health concerns and never makes ‘female hysteria’ insinuations.

Before that, I had a health problem. Male doctor undertreated and ignored my high level of pain (I could barely walk because my abdomen was between 8-10 pain levels throughout the day. I ended up hospitalized. If I had not gone that day and ignored myself the way he ignored me, I may have died. I now listen to my body. I know when something is wrong.

When I used to go to the doctor, I became a nervous person due to my history with doctors (especially one in particular). Now, I come in professional but kind. I make sure I know what I want to clearly and concisely tell the doctor. I make sure they know I am not dismissing what they are telling me, either. If I am being treated poorly (never by main doctor but a specialist or something) I try to correct it in a professional way. If it continues, I tell my doctor and ask to see a different specialist.

I record ALL doctor visits because: I sometimes need to go back and listen to their advice or in case someone ever abuses or mistreats me. I suggest everyone do the same if it is legal where you live.

I suggest women get female doctors. Because women have such a big fear of speaking up or disagreeing, it is harder for us to push back when we are not being treated right, especially by professionals. I strongly encourage women to listen to themselves. You know if something in your body doesn’t feel right. Get a second and third opinion. Switch doctors if you are being ignored. Keep going back to the doctors. Be persistent. Like I said, if I would have waited, according to the hospital, I could’ve died.

DutyKooky · 2021-03-18T17:01:50+00:00

I always try to go to female doctors, and i try to find ones who did not go to medical school in US. ( Easier to do in a big city, like NYC)

MummyCroc · 2021-03-18T20:38:08+00:00

I have been having prolonged periods since Christmas. I went to my GP the first time and got pills to stop the period. My period was prolonged in January and February again, so I popped the leftover pills to stop bleeding and kept moving because going to the doctor is expensive.

This month, my body takes it up a notch. I have been bleeding for 11 days. Went back to the GP and she sent me for an ultrasound scan in case it was an ectopic pregnancy. The guy there does the scan and insists on writing the report himself even though he said everything looked fine, and it was probably hormonal. Seems as if he told the GP I was lying because I was only sent home with painkillers only. I had to insist on getting a test on my hormone levels done. Im still bleeding and in pain, and I am honestly exhausted. I know I have to go back to the GP but I do not want to because of how she invalidated my experience. And I'm sad because I thought I had found a great doctor, but it seems like I have not

airhostess_inthe60s · 2021-03-18T17:34:33+00:00

Great thread!!!

I'm a visible minority, but thankfully have never noticed any negative treatment based on that or faced challenges other people have with the medical community due to their ethnic background.

I am however, a fat woman. I've always been fat. Part of it is genetic, big bones running in the family... And part of it is mental health issues that sometimes prevent me from caring for myself properly and consistently. BUT overall despite my size, I have no health issues whatsoever (stamina, blood tests are all good), I eat mostly healthy, albeit with a big sweet tooth.

Many times throughout my life, medical professionals have consistently been dismissing the main health concerns I consulted for, to tell me I needed to lose weight. First I ever remember was at 9 years old, where the doctor berated my mother about my weight, and right after that she put me on a strict dietary (and also verbal/mental abuse) regimen. To this day, the broken record she spins is the same. And because of that, 25+ years later, I cannot eat bread, or even bananas without a pang of guilt!

But I digress...one of the most recent instances I experienced was my new family doctor that I went to a couple of years ago because of a persistent bronchitis. She ordered blood samples (for bronchitis? 🤷‍♀️) and gave me some treatment, then kept postponing my follow up by weeks at a time. So finally, when I go see her again after 6 weeks, STILL coughing, she sits me down and tells me very condescendingly how I should be losing weight, eating less and exercising more. She also referred me to her dietician friend's private clinic.

What she failed to do though was to talk to me about my initial problem that was STILL there. She also failed to realize that weight issues can lie much deeper and a meal plan cannot always resolve that, especially when mental health issues are involved. I don't want to generalize or discriminate in any way, but I feel that she had no empathy for someone like me, partly because she was tiny, super fit, dressed in fancy workout gear. So to her, I was a big fat lazy slob, who can't put down the donuts.

Anyways, I ended up leaving her office with a strong recommendation to see her friend, no further treatment for bronchitis, an appointment 6 months later to check on how my weight loss is coming along and a big lump in my throat.

I wish I stood up to her that day, but I felt too beaten down to speak up. Needless to say, I never went to see her again and never will. And that experience further discouraged me from seeing anyone else since.

My advice to you ladies - Stand up for yourselves! Speak up! Yes, they're experts in their fields, but only you know your body and your pain. Walk out of there and get second opinions!

Stay healthy my queens 👑

Edit/addition: while she wasn't overly misogynistic, I still feel that she displayed some internalized misogyny.

jingks_ · 2021-03-18T21:27:51+00:00

Have you been disregarded by a medical professional, and/or had your pain diminished?

Yes, by a female ob/gyn actually. I came in with *severe* cramps, which I'd never gotten before, and told her something was wrong. She tried to prescribe me Prozac to "tAkE tHe EdGe OfF". I basically had to beg her to let me get an ultrasound or something, and she rolled her eyes while she did it. Turns out, my IUD had dislodged and was poking into my uterus at a weird angle. I get so angry thinking about it -- like, you're a female doctor and you don't take your patients seriously??

How do you, personally, deal with medical professionals who treat you this way? Do you push them, or seek a second opinion? Do you report them?

I reported her and wrote a big-ass letter to the practice, and demanded that they require training around these issues. The person I spoke to was very sympathetic but ultimately I doubt they did anything.

In terms as general or specific as you like, what is your best advice for taking charge of one's mental and physical health?

Listen to your body and don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. You know yourself better than anyone. Raise your voice, climb the ladder, make reports, and get doctors like this in trouble so they know they can't treat other patients in the same way.

Prestigious_Spray_34 · 2021-03-19T03:35:19+00:00

For me, the problem is therapists who invalidate experiences.

I experienced severe harassment at a job that caused me to develop PTSD-like symptoms. She kept trying to probe to see if she could simply pass the whole thing as me having BPD. When she couldn’t, she said that the things that they did really were not that bad and should not have traumatized me and gave a diagnosis of “adjustment disorder”.

Basically, she said that I just need coping skills to deal with harassment that, of course, she doesn’t believe was harassment.

Title	Discussion about physical & mental health intersecting with misogyny
Author	lilneccowafer
Upvotes	75
Comments	10
Date	March 18, 2021 3:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m7t6er/discussion_about_physical_mental_health/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/discussion-about-physical-mental-health.1190837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1190837

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