Don’t let pity get you into a relationship, it’ll bite you on the ass.

skyerippa · 2021-01-28T10:19:21+00:00

Soooo true! My ex would always bring up his father killing himself when he was young. (That broke my heart for him and his fsmily) but somehow my trauma wasn't a valid excuse for me when I did things that annoyed him. 🙄🙄🙄 like having ptsd lol

BashRunes · 2021-01-28T11:00:01+00:00

Had a guy cheat on me with a 16 year old girl last summer (we were in our early 20's so YIKES), and when confronted he exploded. Went on a screaming rampage, stomping around the property and punching trees. Threatened to wrap his car around a pole. You wanna know what he blamed that bullshit on? His dad dying.

He really was traumatized. Everyone knew he was sick. He also blamed CSA for going after that kid. I told him he became the thing he hated and that because of that he'd lost every shred of pity there was.

Another man blamed his physically abusive family for physically abusing me. He blamed everything on that. It was fucked.

fdssavedmylife · 2021-01-28T13:20:46+00:00

[deleted]

2021-01-28T15:28:43+00:00

When I caught my ex cheating, he started denying, gaslighting and confusing me.

In the middle of that long arduous conversation, he starts talking about how his father was abusive and evil.

I was like “I’m sorry you went through that, but what does this have to do with the current issue????????”

He’s like “oh I just want to be truthful about everything now”

Guess what? He was lying and stood his ground until there was undeniable proof of him cheating.

Your shitty childhood DOES NOT excuse you into being a SHITTY PERSON

BasieSkanks · 2021-01-28T20:49:39+00:00

Dr Jessica Taylor also made the point that if childhood trauma was the reason behind an adult becoming an abusive criminal, women would be committing violent crime at a much higher rate than men. Women are more likely to be the victims of childhood trauma, yet they don’t offend as adults at the same rate as men. The stats are not even close.

Strawberrycreem · 2021-01-28T21:16:00+00:00

Mine would ignore my anxiety and trauma all the time, telling me that “I was grieving too long” 2 weeks after my grandfather died. He brushed off all of my physical, emotional and mental childhood abuse as well but when another man had raised his fist at him in argument he was a wreck for days cause “it reminded me of one time my dad raised a fist.. no he didn’t hit me but it was scary.” But fuck my drag right?

2021-01-29T07:13:35+00:00

I love this sub and I love Dr Taylor. Its very true. I used to be in therapy with men and women (group) and the difference is so stark. I actually had a male friend from that type of place (who has been kicked to the curb for sexism and general tomfoolery) say that from his OWN observations, women with a trauma history are more likely to be abused in relationships, whereas men will act like men with NPD. And there it is. He tried to compare his mild trauma to my C-PTSD. Very offensive. He got offended about me talking about rape because "we have all suffered, trauma is relative, it's not the Trauma Olympics." No, bro. You being a lonely only child and finding that hard is not the same as what I went through. Ffs.

-pop-fizz-clink · 2021-01-30T11:37:27+00:00

"my mom made me go to bootcamp"

"Oh boy. What did you do to get sent to bootcamp?"

He did a shocked Pikachu that my answer was this, instead of "omggggg your mom is sooo mean! Omggg!"

Bonus : he punched his younger sister. IN THE FACE. That's why he got sent to bootcamp. In Canada. Yea.....

Breaking my ankle twice and it being kinda weak did not stop me from speedwalking in 3 inch stilettos. I damn nearly broke into a jog.

Title	Don’t let pity get you into a relationship, it’ll bite you on the ass.
Author	ScalesHaveFallen
Upvotes	1077
Comments	33
Date	January 28, 2021 9:52 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l6t04e/dont_let_pity_get_you_into_a_relationship_itll/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-let-pity-get-you-into-a-relationship-itll.738787 https://theredarchive.com/post/738787

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