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[+]PostbioticFibre85 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
If it has red flags but you still love it, let it go. If it comes back, that means no one else wanted it either and you should let it go again.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤣
[–]herbivorouscarnivoreFDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
And sisters, when a man tells you something, take it at face value. Don’t go asking your friends and family bs questions like, “What does a man really mean when he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship?”
[–]xButFirstCoffeexFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly. I think it’s the stupid idea thrown around in society, movies, TV shows, etc. that women can and should “fix broken men”. A man says “I just don’t believe in love/want a relationship”, and naive women think with a little effort on her part, he’s gonna change his mind and sweep them off their feet.
[–]lolmemberberriesFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I knew I was leveling up when I found myself turned all the way off by men who showed signs of being emotionally unavailable.
[–]Middle_Ad2224FDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
A lot of pick me’s do this I think because they want to feel special. I know in my pick me days I liked the idea of being the one special person that could fix him. If I lowered my standards enough and put up with bad treamtment enough and was “cool” enough then I would earn his affection which apparently transforms him into an amazing and loving man? The logic doesn’t make sense to me now but that was definitely how I used to think.
[–]blueboobs-FDS Newbie[S] 35 points36 points37 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, and for many the man who actually is emotionally available is a turn off. Even if he’s a decent man. That’s because underdeveloped pick mes when rejected and starved, mistake the wound propelled desire to prove themselves and pursue withheld potential as “love”. The longing sets off the imagination and the planning on how you can “win” him 🤡. Always by changing or diminishing yourself or lowering your standards. It’s clown shit of the highest order and we are not actual grown ups until we at minimum recognize when we are being baited into such a dynamic.
[–]herbivorouscarnivoreFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Isn’t this how it works in books, TV, and movies? He’s just an injured soul, waiting for someone to love him enough that he can heal and shine!
In real life, he’s just a heel. If he needs help, that’s what therapy is for, and he needs to do the work. Nobody else can fix him.
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Beauty and the Beast syndrome. You think you can turn the grumpy, angry, even violent beast into a prince.
[–]ComprehensiveAmoeba9FDS Apprentice 54 points55 points56 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m no longer wasting my time with a man who is emotionally unavailable. If they cannot have a conversation with you about the relationship or you don’t feel like you can come to them about any issues, expect to feel miserable and lonely because they lack basic aspects of emotional intelligence. I used to be attracted to those types of men because I found them “mysterious” and thought I could figure them out and solve their problems. Now it’s such a turn off to me after I started gaining confidence and implementing higher standards.
A LVM I used to date had such a hard time communicating and expressing his feelings, he couldn’t even tell me he wasn’t fully moved on from a previous relationship and he strung me along, claiming he didn’t want to hurt my feelings so he didn’t tell me. One of his male friends kept making excuses for him such as “a lot of men are like that” and “that’s just how he is” when he didn’t get me anything for my birthday or bother to celebrate it when I got him something for his🤡
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I agree, but I also want to put it in men's court to get their emotionally unavailable a**es of the market. Or, if he recognizes that she is emotionally available and he is not, then he should have the balls to let her find an emotionally available man.
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[+]PostbioticFibre85 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
If it has red flags but you still love it, let it go. If it comes back, that means no one else wanted it either and you should let it go again.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]herbivorouscarnivoreFDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]xButFirstCoffeexFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]lolmemberberriesFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Middle_Ad2224FDS Newbie 59 points60 points61 points
(3 children) | Copy Link
[–]blueboobs-FDS Newbie[S] 35 points36 points37 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]herbivorouscarnivoreFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jupitaur9FDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ComprehensiveAmoeba9FDS Apprentice 54 points55 points56 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]miwamusFDS Newbie 29 points30 points31 points (0 children) | Copy Link