I just listened to the first FDS podcast, and my head hurts. From nodding. And shrieking, “YES!” over and over again.

The speakers did such a wonderful job of introducing a variety of essential FDS topics. While listening, I was reminded of how my adoption of FDS came in waves. I let go of my misogyny brainwashing little by little, so I have some advice:

GIVE IN

Because every time that I “give in” to adopting advice, standards, or philosophy from FDS, it gets better.

My world makes more sense. My self worth becomes less fragile. My understanding deepens. The grip of self doubt, acquired from a lifetime of misogyny, gets weaker. It all gets better.

I used to condone porn and sex work but could never reconcile the degradation and mistreatment of women in those industries. I used to believe in 50/50 but was unsettled and frustrated by how unbalanced the scales remained for women.

FDS didn’t teach me something new as much as FDS helped me wipe away the layers of misogyny to reveal the truth beneath. I no longer have trouble making sense of it all. I’m not struggling to reconcile my beliefs and my experiences.

Newcomers and women who are lurking, please listen to that gnawing in your stomach. That’s the truth desperately trying to come to the surface. That truth was buried as a survival tactic for living in the abusive world of men. But there’s a better way.

Read the handbook. If you feel resistance to any principles, then get really honest with yourself about why. It’s difficult, at first, to see how deeply and widely misogyny is programmed into our psyche. Keep reading and questioning. Don’t settle for most of it or some of it. And please don’t make my mistake and wade in the water slowly. Take a deep breath and...

GIVE IN