For 8 years I told myself it was ok that he played so many video games online, because he would give me 10 minutes of attention between matches- or raids or hordes or WHATEVER THE FUCK these stupid mind numbing wastes of times were - I mean, he LOVED me, right? 18 hours of video games means I’m the cool wife, right..?
My oldest son passed away in 2015 and he (he’s stepfather, not his father) still played his video games, insisted he was SOOOOO depressed and couldn’t work (for 5 years!!!) while I supported us both, going back to work 2 WEEKS AFTER MY SON’S SUICIDE- and still I told myself I loved him. He was never too depressed for games tho... but come on, he stayed with me so he clearly loved me.. right?
For the entire time we were married I was the breadwinner, I was the one who should have been calling the shots and I NEVER did because I thought I didn’t deserve to run the show. I’m just a woman, right? What do you want for dinner, do you have any dirties you need me to wash?
Today marks one entire year since he had ANY power over me. Today marks an entire year since I kicked his worthless ass to the curb and began supporting myself. And you know what? I have more money, more self confidence and more control than I ever had in my entire life.
Ladies- NEVER let a zero or negative value man steal your soul or steal your shine! It was scary as hell admitting I needed to be alone, but I’m so much happier for it.
I was raised believing I needed a man to be complete. NAH, sis- lean on yourself and do what YOU want and decide your own timelines! The men who deserve you will find you and chase you. Let them! You are worth it!!
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