How did you overcome self-doubt?

Betty_Bottle · 2021-08-25T15:54:13+00:00

Write a list of all the negative thoughts you have about yourself, things people have said to you etc. Then take that list and write the exact opposite of each negative thought. Keep that positive list for whenever you are doubting yourself (throw away or burn the negative list).

It's a small self-esteem building exercise I had to do in therapy last year.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-08-25T15:59:27+00:00

It's kinda stupid but I tell myself I can't do something and then immediately do it. Like I can't raise my hand or fill a glass with water so I can reinforce that thoughts aren't real.

Also, before sleep I think about positive affirmations. I used to have horrible nightmares that really highlighted my blockages. Blocking all the dread and remorse the moment I hit my head on the pillow has helped immensely. Then during the day I take time to process my feelings but I don't do that in bed.

Also shadow work excercices, I do them everyonce in a while.

DaisyDooDrops · 2021-08-25T16:28:21+00:00

I used to think I couldn’t trust myself because I had ended up in very bad and traumatic situations, but what I realized is that I was manipulated into doubting myself at those times, and trusting myself is what would’ve saved me.

It will always be hard to completely trust myself fully, but I work on it more and more every day. I am patient with myself and kind to myself, and these actions have made a world of a difference.

I started by trusting myself with small things or by following a gut feeling. It is very scary, but the more you do it, the easier it will become, and soon it will become part of your daily routine.

I hope this helps in some way, and I truly wish you the best. You deserve to love and trust yourself.

proletaricat_ · 2021-08-25T17:45:03+00:00

This may or may not be helpful. There are a few main things I do, because often my self doubt is me intellectualizing the options and losing sight of my truth.

1) I pretended to be a boss bitch who deserves the world until I became that. Internalizing that attitude takes practicing it, there was no talking myself into it. I nurtured that little voice in me that said “hey fuck you I’m awesome” until it became big, and whenever I doubt myself I draw upon its energy.

2) I imagine the situation from the outside - I do a thought exercise where I remove myself from the situation & look it as if it’s somebody else’s situation, or a friend’s, and that helps me gain a more objective view.

3) Purposefully catastrophizing - if I’m worrying about options and potential consequences, I will write down or imagine all the bad things that can happen, the worst things that could happen, and then - and this is the important part - for every bad consequence or catastrophe I imagine a) is the consequence permanent, b) how do I recover if this consequence happens, c) what is the actual likelihood of this consequence, and d) what is the consequence if I don’t do the thing, and how do they weigh against each other? I.e., is the opportunity cost worth it. This forces your brain to go past the scary doubt and what-ifs and actually problem solve so you can see things more clearly.

4) “Will it matter in 7…” I ask myself: Will it matter in 7 minutes? 7 hours? 7 days? 7 weeks? 7 months? 7 years? - it helps me gain perspective on my reaction and emotional energy I’m putting into something and to really think about what I’m spending my time and energy on. It’s usually at about 7 hours or 7 days where I cap out on a “yeah no it won’t” so I go ahead and do the thing.

5) Look at the stars/YOLO. Look at the hubble telescope deep space photo and realize those are all galaxies in the picture, not stars. Realize how absolutely insignificant every human is, and realize we only have one life, and realize the only human who ever truly has our back is ourself. This also helps bring perspective on risks/rewards and on the emotional energy I invest into worrying about things.

I’m a worrier and have anxiety big time, and this combo helps. Like for the “will it matter in 7” one, if I’m not sure I can do something, and think I will be embarrassed if I can’t, and start to tell myself no - will that embarrassment or failure even remain in my memory for 7 years?? Will you see the people around you who could witness the embarrassment ever again and will their opinion matter in even 7 minutes? Probably not, so just do it. Also fuck everyone else I’m amazing.

vaguelinen · 2021-08-25T21:28:08+00:00

Probably not helpful in terms of advice but divorcing a mediocre white guy who was full of audacity yet lacked accomplishment really helped me get perspective.

Title	How did you overcome self-doubt?
Author	Lost_Kale90
Upvotes	121
Comments	11
Date	August 25, 2021 3:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pbdks0/how_did_you_overcome_selfdoubt/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-did-you-overcome-self-doubt.1064753 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064753

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