How do we keep a HVM

aclumsygirl · 2020-04-05T14:36:40+00:00

As counterintuitive as it sounds, the way to keep a HVM interested is to stop focusing on keeping him interested. Focus on yourself and making your life as interesting and fun and positive as you can, in all the ways you want. Don't overfunction in relationships. Let him lead and initiate and offer, you lean back and observe, and decide whether to accept what he's offering and continue.

Emma_Lemma_108 · 2020-04-05T14:24:57+00:00

It’s a mindset change - start asking what HE has to offer. Aim to be your happiest and healthiest outside of a relationship, and HVM will be attracted to you and want to earn you!

7102a · 2020-04-05T14:18:05+00:00

There is a paradox in that part of making yourself high value is no longer concerning yourself with "keeping" a man. Ultimately you want people in your life who want to be there. A man is not a pet to be kept, even a high value man. Let things come and go naturally and don't try to force a man to stay interested. Invest in YOU and trust that the rest will follow. If someone loses interest in you, so be it. That means they weren't meant to be in your life then.

Pipulka · 2020-04-05T14:27:35+00:00

A HVM can only keep himself. If you treat him with love and respect and he’d still leave you, he’s not a HVM. You can’t keep a man that doesn’t want to be kept. And if you’re doing something that would make him consider leaving you but can be fixed, a HVM would communicate it to you.

JoyJonesIII · 2020-04-05T15:19:39+00:00

Stop lavishing them with anything, for starters. It doesn’t mean you have to be cold or nasty, but stop with the gifts and the sex and everything else you’re doing to “make” them like you. They like you based on your personality and how you live you life, not what you’re giving them. YOU are the prize. If a HVM is into you, he’ll pursue you, not the other way around.

theraininvietnam · 2020-04-05T16:07:06+00:00

Honestly, the only way is if they want to be kept, and a HVM hopefully will want to. But I've learned not to focus on what can "keep a man" because nothing can. Look around us... even BEYONCE got cheated on. Not that Jay-Z is a HVM, but if even Bey who is gorgeous, smart, successful, fit, talented, etc can't keep a man who won't cheat? A man who wants to be kept will stay with you because he values you for who YOU are. Be yourself, and don't focus on what you think he'd want you to be like because then you'd just be putting on a show. If you want to state your needs (and you should) and he doesn't meet them, then he's not the man for you!

Leavyx · 2020-04-05T17:28:38+00:00

Someone once told me that if you place someone above you, you'll teach him you come second. It will also give the impression that he can get better.

PrincessLeiLei · 2020-04-05T23:02:29+00:00

If someone is truly a HVM the dating process is there to see if you are compatible. So if you 'got' a HVM you have to see if you have the same goals in life. Do you want children? How many? Do you want to get married? Where do you want to settle down? How much time can you spend together and is that good for either party? Etc. etc.

So, if you are in this High Value mindset you won't stress about 'keeping someone' you will see if you two would go the distance. And if the incompatibilities are too great, it's time to say good bye :(

sophrosyne2189 · 2020-04-06T05:31:12+00:00

One thing I've learned and try to keep learning (and squeezing into this hardheaded noggin of mine) is that there is no one foolproof way to keep an HVM. There is just no one who can give you that kind of advice.

When my best friend was about to get married, I asked her how she could do it knowing that her husband could wake up one day and betray her out of nowhere and this is her reply: "There is no guarantees. Nothing is guaranteed.... You just love. Love is not wasted. The love you give will come back to you even if it's not from the person you're expecting."

The only thing you can do is to be happy and take care of yourself.

Laeun · 2020-04-05T22:12:38+00:00

Don't try to keep one. Try to keep yourself happy and healthy.

throwaway93731 · 2020-04-06T06:29:52+00:00

Take him off the pedestal, stop seeing him as the “prize to be won”. Place yourself on the pedestal, remember that YOU’RE the prize. That’s literally all there is to it. Focus on yourself, lean back, and let him do the initiating, because you are the prize and deserve to be pursued.

The right man for you will step up and pursue you. If he doesn’t, he’s not the right man for you—and that’s fine, he could very well be helping you dodge a bullet anyways.

Remember—you cannot ever “make” a man see your value. You can only show him that you know yours.

Read Why Men Love Bitches. Read Why Men Marry Bitches. Go to therapy. Journal. Do whatever it takes to improve yourself self-esteem, and ultimately see yourself as the prize. High-value men love a confident woman with high standards, who focuses on her own life—as opposed to him.

A HVM loves a woman who wants him, but doesn’t need him.

Title	How do we keep a HVM
Author	Pipulka
Upvotes	32
Comments	42
Date	April 5, 2020 2:05 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fve7ih/how_do_we_keep_a_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-we-keep-a-hvm.692837 https://theredarchive.com/post/692837

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