Hey Ladies,

So my ex recently moved out, mostly because I was done being his mum, he’s not happy with me either, I’m guessing it’s because instead of just dealing with him not putting in enough effort to cook and clean I asked him/ told him “You need to up your game” (I texted him and my tone was overall firm and I guess demanding). I told him I was overwhelmed and really need help, then quite literally I stopped giving him car rides, cooking for him, buying grocery, I still cleaned as much as I could.

I might be gaslighting myself here but my question is, was I too demanding? if he really cared I think his response would’ve been more like “oh no, she’s pissed off and thinks I’m lazy I better do more housework” Instead he made a list of everything he does and told me to “up my game”.

My understanding of any partnership is, it’s never a clear cut 50/50. If he’s doing more of this then I’ll do more of that and vice versa. Because of covid and him not making as much as me I have subsidised him for rent and groceries and he knows this and thanked me, was I wrong to expect him to do more domestic labour? I really don’t think I was too demanding? I was pissed off so naturally I wasn’t all nice about it and didn’t use language like “can you please help out more”. I don’t have to be super nice and polite all the time right?