i am really depressed

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-22T23:21:38+00:00

Read the handbook.
Stop looking for a man
Learn to be happy without one
Maybe start dating again
But with FDS boundaries and standards

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-07-22T22:48:41+00:00

1 - You should start by reading the Handbook before anything else.

You are in no condition to be dating, to begin with. You need to stay single and work on taking care of yourself FIRST. We attract what we reflect, so if you are a mess you are going to attract people on the same level, or narcissists who prey on vulnerable people.

strainedcrow · 2020-07-22T23:27:13+00:00

This is temporary, real, but temporary. You will find a good man one day, it is worth the wait. I understand wanting a companion to share your life with, I'm lonely too, but I know I need to be happy with myself and being alone before the right person shows up

peaka25 · 2020-07-23T02:08:14+00:00

I want you to know you are not alone, by any means. I have been where you are. I recommend taking a step back and dating yourself. Self-romancing is a lifestyle. Buy yourself flowers, cook yourself a lovely dinner or get takeout from your favorite restaurant, take a bath with candles. Make yourself feel special. Learn the things that you love about you and what you enjoy about your life without a man. If you don't currently have that, think about what you can do that would make your life more enjoyable without a man in it. Find hobbies that make you feel good.

I used to feel so hopeless until I took a step back and assessed my life. I realized that I genuinely do enjoy my alone time and I like being able to do what I want, when I want. I like not having someone who can comment on what I eat, whether or not I've gained weight, what TV shows I watch, who I spend my time with, when I go to bed or wake up, etc. I can starfish in bed and not be woken up by snoring all night. I don't have someone expecting that I make dinner for them. I can do whatever I want. Learn those things about your life that you love that would be a sacrifice to give up. Once you accept that being single can be great, it would take a pretty amazing man for you to give up those things that you love. Most importantly, you learn that you don't need a man to be happy.

redbirdflies · 2020-07-22T23:04:53+00:00

You need a mindset shift. Listen to the wise women on this thread and Read. The. Handbook

I promise you will feel 1000x better after reading it.

upgrading2Queen · 2020-07-23T00:46:25+00:00

I agree with the other comments. Definitely take a step back from dating and work on yourself. Take yourself out and love you! Most importantly give time time. You will find someone worth the wait. I'm sending good vibes your way!

heythere360 · 2020-07-23T07:26:36+00:00

It’s okay love. It’s good to hit this rock bottom.

That way, in 3-6 months from now, after you’ve stopped all this useless dating and endless searching to nurture yourself and your friendships and your personal hobbies, you’ll look back on today and shutter thinking “remember when I thought a MAN could end my depression and keep me happy?”

When it comes to one exteme or the other, men bring misery not happiness. Only You can bring yourself happiness. A man at most supplements you’re already full life, and is to be disposed of if otherwise.

You’re working from the ground up. No more boys for at least 6 months. You can cry as long as you want to. But 6 months. You’ll have nowhere to go but up. In 6 months I doubt you’ll go searching for happiness in men again ;)

tutioghi11 · 2020-07-23T04:26:07+00:00

Most men who approach you are trash because most men are trash period. You got to build yourself up and then you gotta vet and reject many many people. Therapy, exercise, hobbies, social life, whatever you gotta do

GeraBaba · 2020-07-23T01:10:55+00:00

I agree with all the women here who said learning to love yourself and your life is essential, I am working on this as well! I wanted to add that men are not necessary, and, it's better to be alone than to be with awful men around, staying single can actually be a very positive experience!

Title	i am really depressed
Author	BlueMondayEveryDay
Upvotes	42
Comments	11
Date	July 22, 2020 8:39 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hw1o33/i_am_really_depressed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-am-really-depressed.716313 https://theredarchive.com/post/716313

Comments

1 - You should start by reading the Handbook before anything else.