UPDATE: I got all the proof I need. This summer he is supposed to head to California for a building job & during that time I am going to try to move my little sister in with me, or if that falls through, I'll get a roommate. Then I am going to amicably break it off over the phone. I don't feel the need to show him the proof (messages calling her "crazy hot & beautiful" & a "tigress"), but I'm glad I got it because my gut was fucking right. Thanks for tell me to follow it. Thanks for supporting me & telling me it's not my fault. I was thinking about how Jay-Z even cheated on Beyonce, so it's obvious that mens' egos & masculinity are so fragile that they can have a literal goddess at home & they will still cheat.

ORIGINAL POST: I've been discovering over the past few days that my SO of four years has been engaging in an inappropriate texting relationship with one of his coworkers. He hasn't even been trying to hide it, or maybe he thought he was & didn't know I was reading over his shoulders, but I don't know the last time I texted a coworker multiple heart emojis and heart eye emojis.

This is the fourth time this has happened to me. My three previous relationships ended & resulted in my former partners starting a new relationship with someone who they had been building a relationship with before we officially broke up. I look at it as "emotional cheating", & it's been so difficult for me to see.. I don't know if I was just blind to the fact or if they were just that good at hiding it, but I can't help but feel like a goddamn idiot for being tricked so many times.

The thing is, I am in a really bad spot because of the pandemic, I can't very well kick him out because he has been covering my bills as my job (graphic designer) relies on social gatherings, & my income has been cut in half. I get a little support from my parents but they are disabled & have been doing the best they can to support me, but we are all suffering..

I don't know what to do, I am hysterical, I feel so fucking stupid for letting this happen again, but I don't know how I can do things differently.. I need help, advice, anything.. I am so sad..