I chat online, and expect nothing. I keep chat in the background as I read online and play games. Occasionally men will DM me, which I prefer, since no one else can comment, interrupt, make snarky comments, which happens in public chat. As an introvert, it's just easier talking one on one.

Today, I had a real winner: dude messaged me, and out of the blue, volunteered how many kids he had; I asked why he was telling me that, because I don't care, and it's irrelevant from a stranger. I specifically say on my profile that I am widowed, don't have kids, don't want anyone else's kids... and yet some have said that's "confusing". Why, because I as a childfree widow should just be so grateful to have any kids at all? to just be able to move cross-country, out of the country for A MAYYUN, any man, because I've been single SO long? EYE ROLL.

So this scrote told me he has four kids (at least all grown), an ex-wife, a father he takes care of who just had a major stroke, his own physical issues/limited mobility, and an alcohol problem that he completely tried to minimize while telling me the truth. He quit once before, and yet still drinks. And then he asked if I was "interested". Oh, right, because I'm single? SURE, BUDDY, let me just totally abandon my own life, go move across country with someone I don't know, take on all your issues as A PROJECT. Let me be that pack mule who completely takes over your life, caretakes, makes everything all comfy-womfy for you, because God knows, I don't have any needs or wants that actually matter, since I am, after all, a woman. I mean, all I'm doing is just marking time til some man notices me, wants me, offers me a run-down trailer in a bad part of town, a messy family, messy living situation, tons of drama, because clearly I need A MAYYUN, any man!

And I said this to him. What's in it for me? Oh right, kids, when I already said I would never bother to date any single father. Your monkeys, your circus, NOT mine. I get that your kids will always come first, and have fun with that whole lifestyle, because I don't play second fiddle to anyone. That's precisely why I only dated and married childfree men, because I want to be first in my partner's life, forever. Selfish, and I own it.

Big no thanks to caregiving you and your father. No thanks to dealing with an ex- that you of course will call crazy. You claim you divorced her, and why was that? Oh right, she was also an alcoholic. So I don't actually know who left who, and why do I get the distinct feeling her story would be a lot different from yours? And alcoholics are notorious for having unhealed wounds, lots of issues, and extraordinarily poor boundaries, if any.

Just the sheer entitlement of this scrote. Upend your life, move across the country, get with a stranger with a disability, help me care for an aging, disabled father. Always deal with an ex-wife since I have four kids, and oh yeah, do all my cooking, cleaning, and share my bed. WHAT A DEAL I JUST PASSED UP.

Why, why, WHY do they always presume that single means available and looking? And why don't they ever OFFER anything of value, and just want want want and try to take take take? Just so gross. I need a shower.

Edited to add, right after this I had an online interaction with a female admin from the chat program I used. I got bounced from the room; the men who shit-stirred, called me names, started acting disrespectful were left to stay in the chat room. Not bounced, and probably not warned. This isn't the first time.

So I messaged her and said, so... what could I have done in that situation not to get bounced? Just take the abuse, which is a clear violation of rule 1 (no disrespect)? Not assert boundaries, not speak out? Really? So you're saying that by speaking up, speaking out, not causing any actual drama, just being an outspoken female who refuses to take shit from men, I get bounced? And you konw as well as I the only thing I said to the guy who instigated was "feel better soon, have a nice day", then laughed. Way to protect the patriarchy. No answer, of course.

That's something else I notice, too: that deep silence when someone is called out on a very obvious mistake. The dude above will never message me again, praise be. This woman in chat? She'll keep her distance, maybe ignore me, and I don't care; I also own up to shaming them a bit, too, because I was angry and wronged, and they offered zero solutions. What's awful yet fascinating about this particular chat program is that they let regular people become admins, and they don't vet. There is just SO MUCH drinking and drugging; these people are clearly self-medicating and some simply LIVE online. And for the record, I'm simply fascinated in this adult room with seeing scrotes and Pickmeishas up close and personal, seeing no boundaries, no normal behavior at all. The circus endlessly fascinates me because it is just so upside down and inside out.