Just came back from first date post breakup

IB12345ME · 2020-09-06T02:42:41+00:00

He split a drinks bill? Is that because you offered? Did he buy dinner first?

cassabell1894 · 2020-09-06T02:44:41+00:00

I had a similar situation last week, and I won't be seeing the guy again. Similar to yours in that:

He didn't want to pay the full amount for the date
He dressed way too casually
He didn't walk me to the train station

I won't see him again, even though he asked. When they don't do the right things from the start, it will always be like that. After my date I knew that:

Didn't walk me to my station = I won't feel protected when with him
Didn't dress well = A low effort person
Didn't pay full amount = If he really really liked me, he would pay, he would want to give a good impression

They show you who they are from the very start, believe it when you see it. I live in a low population area. But I still wouldn't see him again. This is YOUR life, don't settle for less than you deserve x

AbundantOverflow · 2020-09-06T02:44:47+00:00

You know this is not the guy so drop him. Your reaction should be hell yeah or no. You’re overthinking it and letting fear drive you to consider someone who doesn’t meet your actual standards. Move along.

Incredible_Alligator · 2020-09-06T03:44:52+00:00

I quit reading at "we split a drinks bill". Sounds like you're trying to convince yourself to settle. Don't. There are many other men out there. One you might actually like.

dntbfllikeidid · 2020-09-06T04:48:00+00:00

1st: Are you new here? 2nd: Read the Handbook.

IB12345ME · 2020-09-06T03:41:10+00:00

I think you’re just bored and want to feel the excitement of meeting someone new again which there’s nothing wrong about that but he sounds Old enough to be self aware and know better. You deserve better queen

sandrockcustom · 2020-09-06T03:16:45+00:00

Would it really be the end of the world though if you didn't get another date this month?

Longirl · 2020-09-06T08:56:16+00:00

I also went on a first date post break up last night. My ex was also immature, like going out with Peter Pan, so I’m really looking to meet a ‘grown up’ now.

To put it into perspective he booked an incredible restaurant in a part of London I didn’t even know existed. And I’m the Londoner, he’s only lived here 4 years. He paid for the date, was charming throughout, and then drove me home which was a two hour round trip for him. When he dropped me at my house I opened my front door to discover my cat had left a huge dead bird in the middle of my hallway. It was awful. He saw I looked horrified and asked to help. He ended up coming in my house and cleaning all this mess up before jumping back in his car and doing his hour drive home.

We also both made sure that we aligned on politics, family values, and what we look for in a romantic partner. He made sure we had our next date lined up before saying goodbye. I’m not saying this guy is the one but damn, it was so nice to be treated like a lady for the evening. It felt special compared to the nonsense I’ve put up with.

I just don’t think you should settle. The looks and height thing you might be able to overlook but the immature dressing and splitting a drinks bill are things he can change and doesn’t bother to. I think you know you deserve better but you’re trying to convince yourself otherwise and you don’t need to. I’d rather stay single than be a grown man’s mummy again.

Good luck lovely :)

2020-09-06T02:49:03+00:00

Aren't we always supposed to have 3 in rotation so we don't over-focus on one? He was nice and intelligent. Just a thought. :P

3v3ryR0s3HasItsTh0rn · 2020-09-06T06:51:27+00:00

It’s a no. Make it so.

maraslove · 2020-09-06T12:18:28+00:00

There really should be no backtracking. When I backtracked, I ended up trapped for a year. If you aren’t feeling someone, then you aren’t feeling someone. You’ll find someone else. No need to hold on to a guy who’s low effort in literally every area due to fear of not getting another date in a month or so.

Title	Just came back from first date post breakup
Author	IB12345ME
Upvotes	18
Comments	22
Date	September 5, 2020 9:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/in8xjm/just_came_back_from_first_date_post_breakup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/just-came-back-from-first-date-post-breakup.211329 https://theredarchive.com/post/211329

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