Love bombing, what are your thoughts?

Liz_Lemondrop · 2019-10-27T14:27:45+00:00

I don't trust men who are too affectionate too fast. Love freely given is freely lost. Plus, super needy men often don't have their own lives, hobbies, friends, etc. This happened to me recently: a guy was really really into me. Like, way too much. He texted me constantly, wanted to make things super serious super fast and I had even told him I'm not looking for anything serious right now but he had the puppy dog "but maybe some day??" attitude. Nah.

I would keep your guard up. He may just be a super sweet genuine guy. Or he may be playing mind games. Either way, look out for yourself.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-10-27T17:26:24+00:00

You'll notice that a LOT of love bombing comes from men who were in the armed forces. Army vets, navy vets, airforce vets, etc. etc. There's also a lot of love bombing from cops and members of the law enforcement community. It's a tactic used by men to trigger desperation. The first few dates/weeks in the relationship, they'll throw everything at you, sweep you off your feet, make grand romantic gestures, and then, once they sense that you're "hooked", they stop entirely. The goal of this is to get you to call him back to back to back, to get you to double & tripple text him, and to trigger your insecurity and desperation. Desperate, insecure women are easier to fuck for these men. Once they withdraw their affections, desperate, insecure women will throw themselves at these men, and will do anything to "win" that affection back. They become needy for his attention and "cling" onto him, giving him all the power in the dynamic, and weakening her bargaining position. They know what they're doing. The trick is to know it, recognize it, and brace yourself for it, don't fall for it.

throwawayy92838383 · 2019-10-27T17:00:57+00:00

It’s happened to me before. It’s very common tactic that narcissists use.

s_slayer · 2019-10-27T19:32:13+00:00

It’s a red flag. It’s almost always from men who didn’t have any successful relationships and then they meet you and think that you’re the one they’ve waited for their whole lives. They want the world to see that they just had high standards and they’re ok and in complete control of their love lives. Then the second their fantasy is destroyed b/c you don’t put up with their behavior, they run. They might cry and hold on for awhile, they usually do. On the other hand, men who wait for months to drop at least a few little love bombs are probably really insecure, untrusting types. Beware of either behavior. I tend to love bomb too but I’m very self aware and just love being in love, but I’ve been in enough LTR’s that I don’t kid myself about what it’s really like to be committed to someone. A lot of these guys just don’t know. Always try to find out their history, and avoid the guys who have never lasted with women and think they’re all crazy.

rad_daphne · 2019-10-27T19:56:34+00:00

At best guys who do this are mentally unhealthy and have poor boundaries. At worse they are abusers who will potentially beat or rape or murder you.

EmpressEgregious · 2019-10-27T17:38:05+00:00

I feel like if someone likes me too much before really knowing me they are desperate or don't have much going for themselves or both. I think I'm a catch, but by my age (37) I feel like we should know what we do and don't want and shouldn't even consider trying to change someone. I'm out if I don't feel we're compatible. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you, we're just not right for one another. People willing to accept anything for affection are going to end up miserable. We need to know each other well before putting feelings into something.

Citiz3n_Kan3r · 2019-10-27T14:33:31+00:00

Ahhh the d.e.n.n.i.s system

prettyexcitingnews · 2019-10-27T16:26:46+00:00

Funny enough, I’ve experienced this so many times. After a few experiences, I see infatuation (aka love bombing) as a red flag. They probably fall in love with the idea of loving / liking someone than “you.” Be careful.

Loiacono3137 · 2019-10-28T05:17:16+00:00

It’s scary. I’m so used to being lovebombed I feel like I don’t know normal intimacy. Current guy I’m seeing is doing this - giving me gifts,cash, expensive restaurants, etc. it feels good but I keep my guard up.

AverageToHot · 2019-10-27T14:49:05+00:00

I was just about to make a post on this!

Title	Love bombing, what are your thoughts?
Author	cuffingsznsucks
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	October 27, 2019 2:23 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dntxe7/love_bombing_what_are_your_thoughts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/love-bombing-what-are-your-thoughts.689368 https://theredarchive.com/post/689368

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