I saw another recent post about how seeing if the men pay on the first date is a good vetting strategy. I 100% agree, but I also wanted to point out that the person who asks out another person should usually pay anyway - this is basic politeness to me.

When I meet up with a female friend for the first time, if I'm the one who suggested coffee or something, I'll usually offer to pay for both of our drinks, or offer to buy a pastry to split. I'm meeting up with a cousin I haven't seen for years next week. I'm the one who suggested the meeting and they're putting in the time and effort to meet up with me, so I'm going to pay for both of our meals. Money is a tool, and using it to make the lives of people I care about a little easier, to give them a smile and a nice moment in their day is how it should be used.

Men who aren't willing to pay for a date that THEY suggested, that THEY want to have at a time and place THEY chose, are rude: plain and simple. What is their money for, if not to make the lives better of the people they care about and themselves? If I'm holding men to the same standards as I hold myself, then they should be putting the effort in. They should be putting in the investment of money, just like I'm putting in the investment of time. If I'm willing to shell out 15 bucks for the potential of a great friendship then a man should be willing to shell out the price of a dinner for the potential love of his life. If he can't do that, then he shouldn't be dating at all, just like if you can't afford to tip the waitstaff, you can't afford to go out to eat in the first place.

edit: In regards to some comments, to clarify, I'm not suggesting women should ask a man out or pay. I'm talking about social etiquette in general and why FDS logic fits within my understanding of politeness and respect for other people. I'm comparing my willingness to pay for a relative stranger in the hopes of building a friendship to a LVM's lack of willingness to pay because he doesn't want to build anything and lacks basic politeness. Hope that clears things up.