Men, please stop doing things for me.

2020-12-19T18:26:06+00:00

The problem, also, is when they offer to help, they're also going behind your back and gloating about how much a better worker they are than you.

They aren't helping you.

They're sabotaging you.

strcrssdvoyager · 2020-12-19T18:22:57+00:00

I hated this shit when I worked at a FedEx warehouse. I have no problem picking up that little 70lbs box, please go back to your own fucking truck. Your "chivalry" is actually slowing me down.

allergictoscrotes · 2020-12-19T19:04:11+00:00

I deal with a lot of furniture at my job (some I can easily lift, and some that I definitely can’t) and I’ve learned a lot about my male coworkers by how they act. Because they all either

Will see me struggling with a big box that they could easily lift, and ignore me or even knock into me as they push past me.
Insist on doing things that I am capable of, not because they want to make my life easier, but because it makes them feel big and masculine to remind themselves that they’re stronger than a tiny 5’1” woman.
The men who are HVM, or at the very least have some HVM traits, who will take on grunt work without any expectation of praise or fanfare, and will always stop to help me if I genuinely need it, no matter how busy they are, but still respect me, and will never insist on doing things for me when I don’t need them to.

Most of them ones I work with are 1s and 3s, and unsurprisingly, the 1s are the guys who are single and always bashing on women to my other male coworkers, and the 3s are all in happy relationships.

ooftaboofta3 · 2020-12-19T19:57:08+00:00

[deleted]

UnstrirringCoffee · 2020-12-19T19:19:01+00:00

Help is not help unless it is freely offered and freely accepted. If it does not meet these conditions it is not "help" and the person acting in such a way is being the opposite of helpfull.

MulticoloredCatMug · 2020-12-20T01:57:32+00:00

My guy friend works a warehouse job and has a little crush on one of the women he works with. He told her that if she needed help lifting things she should come get him to help and she literally had him lifting things all day. Lol. Queen.

Half_Halt · 2020-12-20T04:07:37+00:00

At the gym a while back, I overheard a (older, white, out of shape, natch) male ask his female personal trainer if she "needed help" lifting a 45 lbs plate. After my eyes rolled back into place from traveling so far back I could see my own brain, I picked up a 45 in each hand & casually did a few sets of farmer carries the length of the gym & back.

Arcaii · 2020-12-20T06:43:46+00:00

Yeah men think we're much weaker than we are. Most women can lift at least 80 pounds, but it seems that men think we're crumbling at 20. It also depends on what we're carrying. When I'm carrying sheet rock or tools or anything "manly" I'll get people shoving into me to help even if it's light enough for a child to take.

I'm pretty sure that men think we're barely stronger than a child. That's how they treat us. I had a guy at a restaurant I used to work at tell me I couldn't lift this barrel, and when men tell me I can't do something I try to do it anyway. It couldn't have weighed more than 50. Pretty sure it was about 40. Dude thought I was THAT weak. I swear they get off on it. They're really attracted to weakness in women and brag about it a lot.

VikingDotter · 2020-12-20T08:19:13+00:00

I noticed this when flying a few years ago. I had just started weight lifting and was excited to lift up my luggage to the overhead compartment (I’ve struggled with OHP and wanted to enjoy my progress lol) but an old man took it out of my hands and threw it up there and then turned to me as if expecting me to thank him and shower him in gratitude. All I could think of was who gave you the permission? Don’t touch my stuff. On the way out, I got it down on my own with no difficulty.

GAaliyah12 · 2020-12-20T01:44:31+00:00

Y'all probably going to drag me, but when I had a warehouse job I honestly did not gaf if mean offered to help or not. I honestly really loved it sometimes, because in my mind I didn't really belong there anyway.

TheDaughterOfFlynn · 2020-12-20T14:42:40+00:00

Lmao my brother always tries to carry the grocery bags for me and will even take them out of my hands but he knows I can lift more weight than him why does he do this lol

Title	Men, please stop doing things for me.
Author	ooftaboofta3
Upvotes	164
Comments	28
Date	December 19, 2020 5:58 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kgcmnf/men_please_stop_doing_things_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-please-stop-doing-things-for-me.455585 https://theredarchive.com/post/455585

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