Once you’re in a relationship

ilostitireallylostit · 2020-08-24T16:14:08+00:00

I read “The Rules” and it says to try only 1-2 times a week for at least the first 6-8 months, then bump it to 3. Don’t provide the wife experience in any way by staying over etc. Goodluck.

IntrepidStorage · 2020-08-24T20:20:30+00:00

Whatever you want to do, duh. If you want dates without sex, you should be getting dates without sex. If you want sex 5 times a week, why shouldn't you be asking for it?

At some point you gotta start trusting him to keep meeting your standards. You've vetted him and are exclusive, he's not let the value slip for 6 months, it's probably time to default to trust instead of distrust. Trust him to continue understanding that you are a whole person with needs and wants, and continue respecting you enough to come to the table. With the understanding that if he breaks that trust it's over, obviously, and a means of exit for yourself in case that ever happens. But you can't have a marriage without trust, and at some point you gotta be comfortable enough to trust him or you become the obstacle in your own way.

hhgjj0 · 2020-08-24T21:19:39+00:00

I don't know about FDS stance, but from my experience, having dates without sex is VERY important. Basically, if you're a great match and share a connection, you both should be fully satisfied just spending time together or talking. It should not feel like something is missing just because you did not have sex or physical intimacy. And if it feels like something is missing without sex, then it means something is really missing in the relationship regarding the connection /emotional intimacy.

2020-08-25T01:39:23+00:00

So for me I know it’s called female dating strategy but I don’t feel it’s a game. I am coming at it from the perspective of making sure the man is a a good man not manipulating one into acting like a good man. I have read that book too and also this book called the rules. I did a lot of manipulative things in the past. Basically I would develop a strategy to get what I want. But I think the thing about HVM is you don’t need a strategy when dating them. The strategy is in finding the right one who is crazy about you and then being yourself. You don’t need to do anything to keep his interest. You should do whatever you want. If you want to sleep with him after your 6 mo vetting process you should. If you don’t want him in your space often, you should listen to that too.

Flufferly · 2020-08-25T06:47:05+00:00

Once you've vetted, do whatever feels good to you. Keep your standards, keep everything you love about your life, but also realize that this is a person you trusted enough to get into a relationship with. Absolutely have dates without sex if you want to, he's in love with you, not your pussy. Don't worry about putting him off by being yourself. You're enough. If he's the right guy you really just have to be you.

AstridRavenGrae · 2020-08-24T21:55:51+00:00

I’ve been dating someone for six months now and we are at the stage where I spend most weekends at his house (not mine as I like to keep my space just for me).

It’s been a tricky situation as we are in stage four lockdown here and cannot go outside except for shopping (one person, one time per day) or one hour outdoor exercise (thankfully allowed to do this one together). This has been the case for three weeks, and is ongoing for at least another three weeks, with four more weeks of slightly lessened restrictions after that expected.

So well-planned restaurant, pub, venue dates and etc are off the table, and something we have been having a lot more of, is sex.

Seeing him while sleeping over from Friday night-Sunday night, we are having sex 2-3 times a week(end), with both of us initiating depending on mood.

Because we are essentially housebound for this time however the main part of our time together is non-sexual. We’re exercising together or separately, watching Netflix, reading on the couch side-by-side, cooking food etc.

This situation would be very different I am sure if we weren’t in a lockdown period (which we have been essentially in since April here), but for us it is working extremely well.

Both of us feel sexually satisfied without it being an issue of too much/or feeling withheld in either side. Both of us feel satisfied with the amount intimacy we have in the relationship without being pressured for it to lead to sex.

I think your own personal needs and libido will play a part in your own answer too - How sexually and emotionally compatible you are with your partner? Do they pleasure you the way you enjoy? Are you spending enough/too much time with them to fulfil your needs? Are you getting non-sexual connection and intimacy needs met?

Title	Once you’re in a relationship
Author	greatflo
Upvotes	45
Comments	13
Date	August 24, 2020 3:54 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ifrn1t/once_youre_in_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/once-youre-in-a-relationship.169418 https://theredarchive.com/post/169418

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