Well ladies, I left my NVM husband about a year ago. At the time I was really going through it, we were in counseling, things were incredibly tense, he was acting a fool, I felt I was losing my mind, etc etc. Finally I just couldn't take it anymore so I kicked him out (literally) and filed for divorce. BEST decision I have ever made.

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Since then I have focused on me, gone to therapy, worked on healing my inner child, toxic family dynamics, re-discovered myself, started my own business, etc etc. It's been a construction site over here, one that I am immensely grateful for. However, despite all the work I have been doing, there was this small little voice in the back of my head of fear. Fear that I would fail. Fear that I would end up like my NVM ex-hub (he had his own (read SEVERAL) "businesses" that somehow never made any money or got off the ground). Just overall fear. The past few weeks it had grown really loud. Just deafening, and sent me into a wave of depression. Since I left my NVM I haven't looked him up not once. I knew that NC (no contact) especially in Narc relationships is the best way for healing and I stuck to that like glue. However, the nagging wouldn't stop and the depression was worsening, so I finally gave in. I finally caved. I went to look at his social channels and prepared myself for heartbreak.

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BUT LADIES THERE WAS NONE TO BE FOUND!

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When I tell you that looking up this loser confirmed EVERYTHING that I had suspected a year ago? When I tell you the IMMENSE confirmation of a complete and total narc degenerate!?! It was just like....wow! WOW! Just confirmed so much. The lack of job stability (he lost the one he had just gotten pre-divorce), the feeding off of & living off of other people (at the time it was me- now it's his new supply). The pure desperation of NEEDING someone to feed off of. Apparently he was DM-ing for new supplies NOT EVEN two weeks after I kicked him out! While simultaneously trying to get back with me!! Just a whole and complete mess. If anything it just really confirmed to me that he is crazy, he is diseased, I was right to leave him, and that we are NOT the same. Despite the challenges I have had this year I have not ONCE leeched onto anyone to support myself. I am completely self sufficient. Yes, starting a new business has been tough, and such a learning and growing experience-- but I am NOT the same as him. I am a producer, he is a consumer. Plain and simple.