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[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That's a basic psychological term to describe men who won't grow up, like Peter Pan. Look up Peter Pan syndrome.
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Someone who can’t/won’t hold a steady job. Doesn’t have his own place to live ie mooches off his parents. Someone who has low level emotional maturity: “Why are you mad at me?” shows can’t recognize his own behavior. Throws tantrums when he can’t get what he wants. Blames everyone else and everything else for his problems. Shows no initiative or drive.
[–]CuriousBubbleMilkTeaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And said "what did I do??" When he clearly made a mistake but tried to talk you out of it.
And when you ignored his ass, he would come back with half ass apology. And when you dismissed it, he would be the one calling you "too difficult" because of that.
Even when you asked "why did you apologize?" With the hope he would recognize his wrong? Nooo.. he would say he doesn't know and he apologizes because you're mad.
🤷
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truth!!
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS STRATEGY COACH17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Stealing from a recent post, one of many red flags of Peter Pan syndrome:
Doesn’t drink water, and can’t eat vegetables.
[–]GlobalDynamicsEurekaFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Be wary about labeling everyone who lives at home with Peter Pan syndrome characteristics. If they're caring for aging or disabled parents, they aren't "living at home". If they're the head of the house, and their parents are their dependents, that's different.
If he is living at home and his parents do everything for them instead of the other way around, he's got a Peter Pan problem.
[–]peanutbuttatwixFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I feel that. It's good to know if he has his own car and what sort of financial contributions he makes to the household.
[–]GlobalDynamicsEurekaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, some men would prefer not to put their parents in a retirement home even if they can afford to. I wouldn't call someone high value or low value based on what they decide to do in that situation. Either option is fine.
Edit to say: if he puts them in a home and wipes his hands clean of them... That's a bad sign. He may do it to you if you get sick. I don't care how nice or expensive the home is, he should be visiting his parents.
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The biggest Peter Pan I know is a 29 year old pothead who only works part time and lives with his sister and her husband. He has a predilection for girls who're like 18-21 not necessarily because of what they look like physically but because they have the same mental maturity as him and aren't as repulsed by his complete lack of ambition like women his own age are. He'll date an 18-21 year old girl for a couple years but once she wants a more serious relationship he breaks up with her and finds a replacement. He doesn't want to grow up and wants to keep living in this perpetual extended childhood of minimal work, low income, and no responsibility. He unfortunately looks younger than he is so he'll probably be able to keep this up well into his 30s.
[–]peanutbuttatwixFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ewww lol. It's so sad too because a lot of younger girls also think they want an older man. I know I had that stupid idea when I was in my early 20s
[–]hikurangi2019FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The Peter Pan (29) I encountered was career driven but it stops there. Calls himself a “big kid” and super proud of it. Zero life skills.
[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In a nutshell a Peter Pan is a man child.
It’s a scrote who refuses to grow up and handle adult responsibilities. They typically live at home with their parents, while mummy does all their cooking and cleaning. Some have jobs while others don’t, but for the ones who are employed it’s usually a dead end job— think part time retail or something a teenager would do.
The also failed to develop both emotionally and mentally— and hence are developmentally stunted. Avoid at all costs as they make terrible partners.
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ah my ex is a Peter Pan. Lovely man, useless boyfriend. He lived in a house share with his friend from his teenage years and his wife. Here’s some things that stood out for me (and ultimately why I ended it)-
The wife cooks all my exes meals
He refused to get a permanent job
He dresses like a teenager without an ounce of style
Still thinks he’s going to be a music producer / drummer / bassist
No responsibility for my pet including rough playing despite me saying not to repeatedly
Doesn’t buy gifts
No driving licence
Physically ran away from me when I once asked him to help me wash up after dinner - I had to teach him the benefits of hot water and washing up liquid once. He was 39.
When he did something that annoyed me would say variations of ‘you tell me how to be a good bf’ and pretend he didn’t know how
Passport out of date (considering he’s Brazilian living in UK on an Italian passport this is quite a problem with Brexit round the corner).
Disorganised with paperwork
Lies. Lots and lots of little lies.
I’ll quote our text conversation on Friday:
PP - I’m finishing up this temp job next Thursday.
Me- why? Do you have a new job?
PP - I’m going to take 6 months out and work on my music, fitness levels and psyche. I want to be in the best possibly shape for turning 40 next year.
Me - why didn’t you do that during the 4 months off you had during COVID?
Him - ... changes subject...
So this almost 40 year old man has jacked in his job to basically fart arse about for a few months. All I could think was thank god it’s not my problem anymore.
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's pathetic, isn't it?
I knew (wasn't dating) a man in his late thirties who had let his passport expire. I told him it might be a good idea to get it sorted, in case he needed to travel urgently, and he kind of scoffed at me and acted as if I was being anxious and silly. Told me he had no plans to travel anytime soon, and it was all fine.
A month later, his dad had a serious accident back home and he needed to fly back, but of course he couldn't, because his passport had expired. Cue him complaining on social media, blasting the embassy and the airline for not letting him fly on an expired passport. Absolutely no recognition that his total lack of adulting and responsibility had got him into this situation, and that it was 100% his own fault. No recognition that most adults would have foreseen that exact scenario or something like it, and not let their passport expire.
It's pathetic.
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is pathetic. I couldn’t live like it. If I ever meet another disorganised man I’m running screaming.
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, same. It's just not worth it. They always have this attitude like the world is conspiring against them and they're so unlucky.
Dude, no. It's not bad luck. It's the inevitable consequence of failing to be an adult. Your tooth is rotting and you have a painful abscess because you haven't been to the dentist in five years. You have to pay all your council tax upfront because you failed to set up a direct debit to do it monthly like everyone else does. Your flight is really expensive because you left it until the week before to book it.
How can all this stuff come as a surprise to them, every single time? How do they not see a pattern?
As someone with legitimate health concerns which are no fault of my own, I have zero patience with anyone whose misfortune is of their own making. None.
[–]holodeckdeathtrapFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go watch a Judd Apatow movie. Honestly, like any Judd Apatow movie.
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[–]Phoenix__Rising2018Ruthless Strategist37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice29 points30 points31 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]CuriousBubbleMilkTeaFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]nycgirlhereFDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AdawritesrulesFDS STRATEGY COACH17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GlobalDynamicsEurekaFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]peanutbuttatwixFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GlobalDynamicsEurekaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peanutbuttatwixFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hikurangi2019FDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]__kamikaze__FDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LongirlFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MindeskaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]holodeckdeathtrapFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link