This might be helpful to some of you.

I entered this awful relationship as a 19 year old who didn't know jack shit about what to look for and what to tolerate.

Don't make my mistake.

1 - Revealing trauma way too early.

First conversation I had with him he revealed a suicide attempt and a bunch of other shit. These men will use every possible traumatic event, mental illness etc. to evoke sympathy from you.

2 - Using trauma and mental illness as an excuse for everything.

Instead of getting help, my ex used me as his therapist and blamed his trauma and mental illness for literally everything. He's being manipulative and abusive? Mental illness. Can't keep a job? Mental illness. Everything? Mental illness.

3 - Having to force them to do literally anything.

My ex literally wouldn't even make his own Dr. appointments. It took him 4 months to get a job he only worked for 3 months. That was because I forced him to go to career services. No motivation.

4 - Childish hobbies and interests.

If a grown man's main interests are anime, video games, and memes then don't even bother. My ex literally had the mind of a 16 year old. It was awful.

5 - Crying fits whenever he's backed into a corner.

My ex would start sobbing if he felt he had no other way out of a situation. This made me feel bad and he got his way. Manipulation tactic.

6 - Weirdly close and defensive about his family, but especially the mother.

My ex was raised with the mentality that the sun shines out his ass due to his mom's babying. She still called him "bubby" at 20 years old. His family was the most dysfunctional mess I have ever seen but he was extremely defensive about them, even choosing them over me.

7 - Completely insecure.

My ex was the most insecure person I have ever met. I would tell him I loved him to which he'd say "no you don't". Constant cries for attention and reassurance.

8 - Fits of rage disguised as "mental breakdowns" or "panic attacks".

My ex would fly into a rage from "anxiety" and threaten to leave me and a bunch of other shit. He even did this to me on Valentine's day. He used his mental illness card to get him out of responsibility for acting like an ass.

9 - Disdain for confident women.

My ex referred to a lot of women as "thots" for expressing themselves how they wanted to. He was raised around nothing but weak women. "We need a man" kind. He wanted me to be this too.

I'm sure there's more I could think of but I hope this post helps some of you. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.