Once you’re awake, it’s tempting to go back to sleep. Put me back in the Matrix (don’t even @ me with the feminist NIGHTMARE of the Wachowski’s but analogy stands). I get it. It’s exhausting being angry all the time.

Cause let’s be real. If you’re not angry, you’re not awake. And then once you are angry, it’s hard to stop. People say to me, “You just blame men for all your problems.” YEAH I DO CAUSE MEN CREATED EVERY FUCKING ONE OF THEM. Ladies they’ll come at you with this bullshit. Like you’re supposed to apologize to your oppressors. Capitulate to your captors. Fuck that shit.

Here’s the deal, ladies. Stepping out from under patriarchy isn’t a one-and-done. Like sobriety or managing a chronic health condition, you’ve got to actively choose every day. Every day you have to re-commit to your health and well-being. Every day you’ll be challenged in ways both big and small. There will be people who mock your naturally hairy legs and armpits at the gym (in my case). Or who laugh at a deeply sexist joke and act like you’re fucking lame if it bothers you (every woman alive). People who don’t question the ads they see on television or the different ways they raise sons and daughters. People who dismiss you or punish you for the exact same behavior men engage in to public glory. Notice I say “people” and not “men” because A) men aren’t people [haha jk sorta] and B) women will do it too. In fact, it’s women who are often most vicious. That’s the one that will hurt the most. It can get lonely with everyone else asleep.

Keep making the choice, y’all. If you need therapy or support groups to help with the anger and generational trauma, then do that shit. Just make sure it’s a woman clinician and a women’s-only support group. Do what you got to do and don’t stop doing it. It will get easier to incorporate your newfound mental freedom as you live your years. I’m 40 now and my life has been tumultuous. I never made real progress on myself as a person until I woke up. Since then my growth has been powerful. It frightens the men who would seek to exploit me. It liberates me, even under patriarchy. It can be the same for you. For all of us.

Crowns up, queens.