Rooting out pickme instincts

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-04-30T20:49:29+00:00

Tattoo artists can be elitist assholes. This absolutely DOES NOT surprise me, but good on you for finding a female tattoo artist who obviously wants the work! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

spicyspa · 2021-04-30T20:44:31+00:00

That's awesome! I'm glad you're able to get your tattoo revamped. And by a woman artist. Well done!

There are many ways to be a pickme and I've fallen into this trap especially with handy men. Trying to get a decent handyman is about as tough as getting a boyfriend. For one thing, the field attracts ex-cons. In fact one guy came with his son as a condition of his parole. But also, once they do a good job (rare), and you express interest in their work, they get big heads and move on to greener pastures.

So hiring handyman throws me into pickme mode as I beg for a man to just arrive on time. Urgh. Like dating men you need a lot of handyman on your scrotation to avoid the pickme dance.

MissOliviathecat · 2021-05-01T05:46:42+00:00

Something so special happens when you actively seek out and support women centered businesses. Congratulations on finding somewhere and taking steps forward!

maracat1989 · 2021-04-30T22:15:04+00:00

I've had the same expirience.

fiery_woman · 2021-04-30T22:55:19+00:00

Wait, what? How do you "redo" a tattoo?

Can you elaborate for a non tattooed person?

aquietsword · 2021-05-01T11:04:16+00:00

So glad you found someone who respects your business!

I also just want to throw something our there for any ladies that want tattoos and also believe in metaphysical/esoteric spirituality and what not - vet your tattoo artist to the best of your ability. This person is spending hours inking a permanent image onto your body and you will be bleeding throughout. It's a pretty vulnerable position physically, but also spiritually. You might not want someone with bad vibes doing your ink just because their skill level is good.

imstah · 2021-05-01T01:02:03+00:00

Yes girl! I got a cool ass tattoo of a girl t-rex done by a girl last month and I'm never going to a dude again if i can help it!

Magnolia_Mirage · 2021-05-01T01:08:15+00:00

I haven't found a female artist that I liked with the particular style I want.

Tattoo artists can be such a mixed bag. And yeah in your instance it depends on the tattoo artist. I had one that never replied, one did reply and we made our appointment then forgot about said appointment and booked someone on my day.

It's a blessing in disguise since I ended up liking another artists work all together.

Intelligent_Cut7135 · 2021-04-30T23:19:31+00:00

My business degree woke me up. There's an entire world of entrepreneurs who want to make your life better. Amazon and YouTube have empowered me so much even though they are big companies. I have so much more time and more money because of Amazon (and when you buy used, either warehouse deal or third party seller, you help the environment or help a small business using Amazon). I spent hundreds on very specific types of Christmas ornaments on Amazon but they were shipped through third party small businesses in my state, so I was able to financially empower a small business from the comfort of my couch.... instead of just buying some low quality ornaments at Walmart.

I have so much self help, spiritual and other kinds of resources because of YouTube which is invaluable to leveling up, learning and growing (use discernment but our mothers never had smartphones that's for sure).

I buy Puracy exclusively because it's so gentle and environmentally friendly and effective. It's a smaller business but growing. I buy trader joe's and Costco because of their simple healthy food and lack of trashy gossip mags. I could choose to blindly spend more on lower quality groceries at Walmart, but I buy humane meats and eggs at trader joes instead.

My spirit and self esteem were nourished when I bought all the American Girl doll books (I never had any parenting so they help) and dolls. Those dollars went towards continuing to empower young women and girls. I spent money on a nintendo switch which brings me joy and isn't filled with violent and sexualized games.

EVERY DOLLAR COUNTS.

I used to think ohhhh xyZ is so expensive but now I think about who and what I am investing in with my dollars. The product I buy is a bonus! You know?

Anyway, sorry wasn't trying to advertise, I just feel passionate about where I spend my dollars and I learned what you learned- we don't HAVE to spend our money anywhere especially if the company does not add value to our lives or is stubborn. And they never expected women to wake up xD

2021-05-01T14:05:57+00:00

I’m glad you had such a great experience with a female tattoo artist!! I got one done this fall and was super determined to support a woman artist, but she 1. Ghosted me after I paid the deposit and didn’t come to our appointment 2. Then convinced me to reschedule so I got it done 3. And finally when I tried to make another appointment to get it touched up before I moved far away, she waited until the day before (knowing I had traveled to come see her) to cancel and tell me she wasn’t even there and decided to book other appointments on the other coast where she also works instead. I was super upset and my beautiful artwork still looks wonderful but not as amazing as it could (especially for the $$$ price). I don’t know when I’ll get the chance to book with her again or if it’s even worth trying knowing she will ghost/cancel like that, and she’s a pretty big name with a big following and fabulous reviews.

I still plan to support female artists but other women can have LV behavior too! I shouldn’t have agreed to reschedule after she initially ghosted or been surprised when she did it again.

gingerwabisabi · 2021-05-01T16:59:11+00:00

YUP! I've been learning this over the last few years after following some badass business ladies and learning not to tolerate bad behavior from businesses OR from my own clients. I've fired clients and found it to be incredibly liberating and empowering (heh, they were all scrotes having the audacity, of course). It's amazing how much more peace of mind and even money you can end up with strong boundaries.

rendervelvet · 2021-05-02T21:19:09+00:00

I had similar with an herbalist (female) that a friend recommended. I finally got a hold of her and every interaction has been low key awkward or unprofessional but the tinctures worked so I kept seeing her. The last exchange she was super late shipping my order but last minute apologized saying she’d pay express shipping but was picking up the broken pieces of her life. In other words, she was seeking emotional validation and support from a client for barely doing her job every single time.

I have empathy for people but this was the last straw after lots of weird cryptic communications. I should have trusted my gut cuz it never got better. The friend that recommended her turned out to be a covert narcissist bully too. Both women refusing to communicate in an authentic honest manner. Instead being weirdly passive aggressive in a way they could deny if I confronted them about and then resume doing so soon after.

I have an appointment with a new herbalist next week cuz it’s not worth dealing with the weird vibes anymore.

You did well to drop the tattoo artist. People bring their drama and emotional baggage into professional transactions. We’re better off moving on with people who show up as professionals.

Title	Rooting out pickme instincts
Author	fiery_woman
Upvotes	368
Comments	17
Date	April 30, 2021 7:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/n21t0f/rooting_out_pickme_instincts/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/rooting-out-pickme-instincts.759974 https://theredarchive.com/post/759974

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