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[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple265 points266 points267 points 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Some grown men are really expecting to be babied more than actual children. Some hardcore scrotes actually get jealous of their own children if naturally and obviously you pamper and care for them more. What is even a man's role in the family then, how does he make it easier for the household and not harder, being an extra burden and taking away from his offspring?
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice41 points42 points43 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well said
[–]Sailor_KushFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is the exact reason my MIL left my FIL when my husband was 6years old. FIL literally said, "you love him more than me!" And sweet ol Lorraine threw him the fuck out, moved into a tiny apartment, finished her master's in teaching and raised a good man on her own.
[–]_QUEEEEEEEEF_1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yaaas Lorraine! Good for her, and I'm sure she raised your husband to be a good man. :)
[–]Gettingitdone420 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wish my MIL had done that! She raised a boy that think the world revolves around him and like a the idea of being served.
[–]wanderingbubbleFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I dont wanna get married cuz i dont get the point of men
[–]_QUEEEEEEEEF_0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The older I get, the more this sentiment is true. Like, I don't hate men, I just don't want to deal w them.
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What is even a man's role in the family then, how does he make it easier for the household and not harder, being an extra burden and taking away from his offspring?
This question raises another question in my mind. I wonder why certain cultures view having a baby girl as a "burden" rather than a blessing since females are the ones that will actually get stuff done. Whereas a man or baby boy won't help even when asked.
I know the traditional reason was because girls couldn't work or earn money (at that time) so they were seen as another mouth to feed until they sold her off into marriage. But this isn't the case in modern society today and yet this notion still persists in certain cultures like in Asia.
[–]radarieFDS Newbie128 points129 points130 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
i once read a quote somewhere that went like "are you happy or are you the oldest daughter" and it's actually heartbreaking how much that is actually a thing
[–]_Paradichlorobenzene0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sadly it's true tho, at least in my house. I'm practically the second mother
[–]azngirl7689At-Risk Pick Me Youth164 points165 points166 points 6 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Anyone else’s parents treat them like a co parent as well? I eventually stood up for myself and said that’s not kid that’s my sister but it definitely has strained our relations.
[–]troubleseemstofollowFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup, working through that in therapy now. My therapist called it becoming a "parentified child."
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My god me too
[–]riseofthericeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kind of confused by the second part, but yes. My parents treated me as a co-parent, until I was 14-ish. The counselor they had to go to while I was hospitalised told them that they're the parental unit. Their eldest isn't part of it.
[–]pickledpiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
My mom was/is this way. I have to constantly remind that being an older sibling =\= babysitter. It puts a strain!
[–]pickledpiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
i meant does not equal babysitter!!
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice42 points43 points44 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
My own father isn't exactly the best, but one characteristic of him that I really like is that he is hardworking - he cooks, he take care of the children, he does the heavy lifting and hard work, he washes his own clothes, he buys all the groceries, and he doesn't complain about the state of the house. My mother also isn't a good cook but he finishes everything without a complain.
But whenever my mom cooks he urges us children to go help her. He also complains when we let mom washes our clothes together with hers. I started washing my own clothes and cook my own food when I was 12. So that establishes the bare minimum of what a guy should do for me.
He also walks literally everywhere (he doesn't know how to drive) and his stamina is amazing for a 60 year old - can climb the stairs in a breeze. It is thanks to him "training" us to walk everywhere since childhood that I have an amazing pair of legs now.
[–]-badmadAMFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I started washing my own clothes and cook my own food when I was 12
Omg the same for us, all of us kids had to start basic stuff for ourselves early on, so it baffles me how grown ass males still expect to be served like toddlers or even bring their f*ing laundry to their mom. The last time I had to bring laundry my mother just said "Oh don't you have a washing machine at your doorms? Of course you can use my machine my dear. I've got a bunch of clothes that needs to be washed as well if you're at it, thanks". I'm not supposed to co-parent or anything, we only always had to help out in the house and clean our mess like adult human beings should. When I was younger and the dad still living with us things were different. He was always complaining why this or that wouldn't be done well enough/ dinner wouldn't be ready, we were responsible for younger siblings more that he would be, and he would just add to the mess while feeling important because he had a job while keeping my mum from getting one. Such a useless family member. Without him everything runs much more smoothly. This makes me wonder if the nuclear family model isn't actually a big scam used to hold some people back so that others can have it easier to achieve something in life.
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
so it baffles me how grown ass males still expect to be served like toddlers or even bring their f*ing laundry to their mom.
If my brother ever try to pull that shit on my mom, I will be the one who will kick his ass. Like you have functioning hands and feet, use it you damn fool.
he would just add to the mess while feeling important because he had a job while keeping my mum from getting one. Such a useless family member.
Oh no he importante! He has job! Oh everybody has to serve his needs - he is too tired from working all day! Oh poor he /s - men like to say they are big and strong - so why does he need to be tended like a freakin' baby? Where did the "big and strong" go? So stronk, wow.
This makes me wonder if the nuclear family model isn't actually a big scam used to hold some people back so that others can have it easier to achieve something in life.
It only benefits the husband because he is free to pursue whatever goals he has. Which is fine if the wife agrees - ideally it is a mutual decision and with a fair distribution of responsibilities. In reality though the wife gets the short end of the stick and has to do the most work with the least return. While the husbands gets to achieve his dream and promptly divorce her to go chase after prettier looking women because he is rich now.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whenever there's a mom struggling with housework that has older children she's always told to teach her kids to do housework to help her out. Ugh how about the OTHER ADULT helps? How embarrassing is it that even your children can be helpful but a grown man can't?
[–]avenging_phoenixFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It should really be let's go help your mom. You don't want to end up raising some spoiled a** kids who turn into some spoiled a** men.
[–]PicklesNBaconPickmeisha™️2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For real 💯
[–]Upstairs_WorryFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true
[–]QueenRowanaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As an only daughter this frustrates me to no end. Yeah i know my dad works long days. Longer than i do for sure. But then once he get home sits down with his fuckn ipad or behind his computer and doesnt do crap. Meanwhile i get home from work to go right back to working at home to help my mom.
[–]bipolarbeach0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is so true! My mom referred to her ex husband as her oldest child the second half of their marriage. And I myself have for several years said that I don’t want children, because as the oldest child, I have already been a part time parent.
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[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple265 points266 points267 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]tonha_da_pamonhaFDS Apprentice41 points42 points43 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sailor_KushFDS Newbie69 points70 points71 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]_QUEEEEEEEEF_1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gettingitdone420 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]wanderingbubbleFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]_QUEEEEEEEEF_0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]radarieFDS Newbie128 points129 points130 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]_Paradichlorobenzene0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]_Paradichlorobenzene0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]azngirl7689At-Risk Pick Me Youth164 points165 points166 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]troubleseemstofollowFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]willowgrowingrootsFDS Disciple8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]riseofthericeFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pickledpiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pickledpiFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice42 points43 points44 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]-badmadAMFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SayNadFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]avenging_phoenixFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PicklesNBaconPickmeisha™️2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Upstairs_WorryFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]QueenRowanaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bipolarbeach0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link