Okay, so I have really SEEN some major shit in my day, but I will say that this one takes the cake!!!

Dated an LVM masquerading as a lonely single father a few months ago who came on crazy strong at first, talking love, marriage and even kids on top of adding me to his stupid family cell phone plan. Now, I did not ask for a new phone or to be added to his plan by any means...if anything, he just said that he thought I “deserved” a phone that was newer than his kids had. I thought it was way over the top and weird, and obviously kept my own plan as a precaution...but of course, I wanted to see the good in his generosity and remain optimistic (probably just bc he was tall and I happened to like his kids, haha).

Anyhow...fast forward another month or so and dude’s losing interest fast...even has an all new online dating profile and going on dates I could track him on from the phone he bought me (you may have seen my other post where I literally WATCHED his location one night as he recreated every. single. part. of the first date he took me on)! Understandably, I was furious and told him as much...he never responded and blocked me the next day.

Well, of course I expected him to cut the phone line off and maybe even ask for the phone back, but he didn’t. So I continued to use it, almost as kind of a game, testing his resolve. Surprisingly, he never did send me that sulky text I expected once his flavor of the week either dumped him or he got bored like he did with me...but curiously, he did keep paying for the phone through November and December.

Well, about a week ago the moment finally came when the service cut off. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but as you can imagine, my ego was of course a little bruised. More than anything, I was just so disappointed with myself for letting myself become intimately involved with someone who would not only be such a dick (both to me and to his children for having me meet them and stay overnight without being as committed as he claimed to be), but someone who wouldn’t even have the decency to warn me he was canceling it and to make other plans (since he didn’t know I still had my usual phone active). What if I was on a trip or something or had an emergency?!?! Like, his daughter and I used to text, so it would have been fine if he just had her send me a quick text if he was that afraid of confrontation with me...it’s not like I would be anything but nice to his young daughter (although I agree that it’s certainly better off to keep her out of his dating loop altogether, unfortunately, she already has a demonstrated history for hacking into his Tinder and Bumble to snoop...smart cookie, that one!)

But okay, so, as annoying as the whole phone thing was, of course I don’t ultimately blame him for not paying for it, since I think it’s crazy he even did it in the first place. But ladies, here’s where it gets really weird: I call into the cell company last night to add it to my existing phone plan (bc he went through thousands of numbers to find one that has my bday in it, which of course I appreciated and figured I might as well hold onto). Weeeeeeelllllllll, just GUESS what this fucker did! He didn’t cancel the line altogether like I thought, instead opting to put it in “suspended billing” status!!!! Like a form of smartphone benching, if you will. That way, he is essentially paying a small fee each month for just sitting on the number so no one else can have it...the rep even told me in no uncertain terms that he is basically paying more than he would be to suspend it than to just keep it!!! Oh, and she didn’t see a promotion or anything that would explain it either (which is consistent with the receipt I saw for it showing he paid full retail). Seriously guys, who does that?!?! Is this just all about control or what?! Like, I cannot stress enough how bamboozled I feel by this guy right now! This guy who at one point sent me play-by-plays of “our” son’s (his words!!!!) parent teacher conferences.

Suspended billing...so much eyeroll. Fuck the hell off, asshole. Moral of the story: next time just smile graciously and sell that red-flag-radio the first chance you get!