One of the hardest FDS concepts for me to follow was the rule against asking a man out. I've admitted in the past that I'm a go-getter and Type A personality who is used to going after what I want.

After FDS, I will never ask a man out again. Here is a list of some of my excuses that I'd make to encourage my pro-activeness, and the reasons why it would never leave to a HVM:

  1. He's shy. I have to make the first move (My number one reason). If he is so shy that he can't even go after a woman he wants (which men are programmed to do), he will be a total doormat in all other situations. He won't stand up for you, fight for you, or take initiative if it may lead to conflict.
  2. It's OLD. This is a different animal. I can ask them out since it's not like "real life." Wrong! Letting them be the one to initiate helps me see they specifically want to get to know me and that there was something about my profile that caught their eye enough to initiate conversation and invite me out for a date. If I initiate, I run the risk of just being someone to talk to, not someone who was singled out because he was interested. If I ask him out for a date, I risk him cancelling or have a greater risk of being stood up because something better came along since he was never into me enough to initiate contact.
  3. He would be in a vulnerable position by initiating romantic interested. For example, a power differential at work or even equal coworkers. Dating someone with a power dynamic or someone that could cause repercussions with your career just isn't worth it regardless of who initiates.
  4. He might not know I even like him so it's up to me to let him know. No, no, no! If a man likes you, they will come to you. Men we may not even like hit on us, so if we are sending subtle signals we are attracted to someone, believe me the man will pick up on it. Men are always up for an easy open. When you ask them out, they might take you up on it just because you are a warm blooded female with the right sexual organs. You will know they like you when it's them who are willing to take the risk and the rejection by pursuing you.

That is some of my fresh insight if that helps anyone.