Never thought I could get where I am today. I'm still actively working on myself but I've made great progress through self realization, reflection, therapy, and educating myself that you must respect yourself if you want to be respected.

I changed alot and if you are determined to change then you most definitely can. I realized something was off after dating the ultimate LVM of my life who ended up being a narcissist. This horrifying relationship led me to therapy and my god my mind was blown. The experience definitely opened up too many wounds and trauma I didn't know I even had but all the work is definitely being made. The one biggest lesson was that I learned to love and respect myself which I have never done, ever in my life. I used to be a BIG people pleaser, a mom (to guys I was dating) and I let everyone just walk on and over me as if I was some broken toy.

The first time I witnessed my progress was when I met that horrifying narcissist LVM ex after 6 months of the discard. He offered friendship, wanted to keep our strong connection and I slapped away that offer, told him I don't deserve this, you don't deserve me and just blocked and deleted him forever right in front of him and walked away.

When I told my therapist, she was shocked and told me she's not seen many of her patients able to do what I did and told me she was really proud and that I was finally recognizing my worth.

The second time I witnessed my progress was when I set my boundary to a guy for the first time and I wasn't guilty of it.

I think I met a potential HVM. It's definitely not confirmed and I'm still very closely vetting. He is so far respectful, caring, hardworking and take cares of himself. Most importantly, he respects me. He doesn't push to meet every day like my past LVM's did, he respects my hobbies, he respects that I put myself and my family first. He remembers things about me. The one thing I appreciate is that he has never tried to get physical with me where I would feel uncomfortable. He lives 40 mins away but always make sure we meet in a area close and safer to where I am and never complained about this. If anything, he makes sure I don't drive more than 10 mins. He offered to pick me up once but I told him I don't feel comfortable getting picked up yet and so he respects that as well and told me to let him know when I feel ready.

Recently he confessed his feelings and asked about becoming exclusive. I told him I needed more time to get to know him and we had a mature conversation about it. I was really nervous but I stated that I do have good feelings for him but still would like to take things slower (especially after all my LVMs trying to rush relationships, I learned it's definitely okay to take things slow). He said he respected my pace, didn't ask me why and we ended the conversation where we will spend time a little more(we only meet once or twice a week), have more intimate conversations and I would let him know when I was ready to have this conversation again.

I was genuinely surprised that he took it well and respected my boundaries as in the past I didn't even know boundaries were allowed😂 I think the past LVMs would have been like "woah I can't manipulate her" and would have ghosted me or something. I told my therapist everything and she mentioned that I'm definitely becoming healthier and likely this is why I'm attracting healthier people. She said if the person is healthy, I don't have go worry about showing who I am and that's what I am experiencing right now.

All in all, I'm not 100 percent ready to say I know my worth..some day's I do get weak but I'm now able to get right back up and tell myself I deserve more and better. I now know it's okay to ask for respect and if I don't get it, I can just walk way. I don't feel rushed or desperate for a relationship right now and I appreciate the time I'm taking for myself. I thank FDS for helping me find my direction and I'll continue to level up as long as I need to.