Hey Queens!

I’m a new member of FDS but I’ve been lurking for a while and recently started reading the manifesto. It’s brilliant chefs kiss thank you to the ladies who put it together.

I’m in my 30s and a lot of what I’m finally realizing about men are things that I’ve subconsciously known since I started seriously looking at men - most of them are subpar and will waste your time if you let them. It’s such a hard pill to swallow. Especially coming up in the OLD era. I’m from NYC and quite frankly, I never plan to OLD here again. It’s just way too much garbage to sift through and it’s not fun at all. The quality of men here is really terrible. But that’s not why I’m writing today.

I’m writing today because it has taken me damn near 20 years to realize that men aren’t your true obstacle when it comes to dating - other women are. Other women’s standards, or lack there of, will severely poison your mind if you let them. It seems like when you make the decision to hold yourself to a higher standard other women will go through all types of mental gymnastics to discourage you or flat out tell you that your standards are too high.

A few years ago a friend of mine and I read one of GL Lambert’s books (if y’all haven’t gotten into his work I really love how cut and dry he is about women raising their standards) and we both realized it would take a lot of discipline to fully reap the benefits of becoming a Spartan. It also means the timeline for meeting quality suitors will become significantly longer.

Again. I’m in my 30s and I don’t have kids. I would love them but the idea of being with anyone for the sake of children never bode well with me at all. A married cousin of mine recently asked if I didn’t have them soon if I would consider having a child alone and I spazzed on her. Hell no. Why tf would I do that? But that was her fear talking. Again. Other women’s fears and limitations will try to poison your mindset.

I do realize that if I want to meet someone of quality they probably will not be in NYC; the cost of living is very high and men have the illusion of choice here. I’ll most likely have to move to put myself in a better position but for now I’m enjoying running my businesses, growing in my spiritual community, teaching myself new skills and staying sucker free.

I just can’t talk too intimately about these things with a lot of the women in my life cause I don’t need anyone salting my outlook on the future.

Thanks for making this subreddit. I really like it here!