Time and again, I see women in relationships make choices to their detriment while their partner reaps the benefits. Not only this, but these women actually convince themselves that this was their own idea. As though they totally intended on being a forever girlfriend for 8 years because "marriage is just a piece of paper" or organically decided to be in a situationship because "we shouldn't need labels" or wanted a cheap engagement ring because "money doesn't matter when you're in love". Or the classic: "We decided to open the relationship".

Men are very good at knowing when a woman is emotionally hooked (thanks, oxytocin!) and once she has fallen in love, she will agree to any number of things for the sake of 'the relationship' and fear of losing him. Women are told that "relationships take compromise" all the while not noticing that they're the only ones compromising while the man sacrifices nothing because men will unhesitatingly walk away from a relationship that is not benefiting them any more.

- How often do we hear about a man leaving his family and friends and moving across the country because his wife got a better job?
- How often do we hear about a man's career taking a hit because he's the parent doing the primary childcare?
- How often do we hear about a man supporting his wife while she quits her well-paid job to pursue her dreams?

Yet women will do all of these things, even if it causes her to suffer socially, professionally, emotionally and financially. If you are in an objectively worse place than you were before, while your partner's life has a) not changed in the slightest or b) improved, then you're being taken for a ride. No HVM would want to put you in a position where you are suffering for his sake.

See:

Exhibit A:
A couple with a young child decide to move to a more expensive neighborhood to ensure their child can go to a good school. This is going to cause them to take a hit financially. They both sit down and discuss this together and decide that they will have to forgo certain expenses. They enjoy eating out, but decide to do this less often. They will find cheaper vacation options. Maybe she will get her nails done less frequently while HVM will find a cheaper gym to sign up to. Both of them have made sacrifices but with the understanding that their child will have the best possible start. This is healthy mutual decision.

Exhibit B:
A couple with a young child decide to move to a more expensive neighborhood to ensure their child can go to a good school. This is going to cause them to take a hit financially. LVM coasts in his middle management job and doesn't want to push for a higher position because it's 'stressful', so 'they' decide his wife will take on another job instead. This is an unhealthy mutual decision. She's now working two full time jobs while caring for a young child and running a household, and is tired, stressed and unhappy all the time. LVM sees this and his only takeaway is that his wife isn't 'fun' anymore, so he uses this to justify having an office fling.

So ladies, when you are in a relationship, detach yourself from your emotions and approach 'mutual' decisions with a shrewd, critical eye. Is your fear of loss/being alone causing you to agree to decisions that are actively against your own self-interest? Is your boyfriend/husband really in love with you if he is pushing for something that is going to cause you discomfort/inconvenience/suffering in any way?

What are some of the craziest 'mutual' decisions you've come across in relationships?