When the queens say "dicks are abundant" it reminds me of Self Esteem by Garfunkel & Oates

rlcute · 2021-11-23T11:34:58+00:00

You text at 3 in the morning
And you misspelled my name
You've slept with half my friends in Facebook
And most of them think you are lame
You say that with me it's different
And you're not that big of a dick
And if you disappear it's cause you're "busy"
Not cause you're with some other chick

I know that this might be uncouth
But I've decided to tell you the truth
My Self Esteem's not low enough to date you
It's close
But not quite there
Give me time to get a little more rejected
And you and I could make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

I seem like your perfect target
Like I've been lonely for too long
You think I haven't had sex in forever
And I'll admit that you're not wrong
But I would rather have no-one
Than this crap let me reaffirm
I wouldn't touch your dick if I'd been poisoned
And the antidote was in your sperm

I know that this might be uncouth
But I've decided to tell you the truth
My Self Esteem's not low enough to date you
It's close
But not quite there
Give me time to get a little more desperate
And you and I would make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

Thanks for not even pretending to respect me
Or slightly acknowledging how mean this is
Cause what's easy to find is a loving relationship
What's hard for a girl like me to find is penises
Especially when I'm on the road
Or anywhere really
Because I'm a girl hello?
That's kind of how it goes

Love is allusive and impossible
But dicks are available everywhere
So sorry if I don't feel super lucky
To get a penis like yours attached to a man
Who can't even pretend to care
Maybe if something goes horribly awry
And I think I'll never find a better guy
But for now
For now

My Self Esteem's not low enough to date you
It's so close but not quite there
Give me time to get a little more wasted
And you and I will make an awesome pair
A totally awesome pair

rlcute · 2021-11-23T12:41:30+00:00

It was written after the blonde woman got a booty call at 4am lol

Performance with a recording of the voicemail: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMf8xa\_\_d9o

Junior-Lion7893 · 2021-11-23T15:46:27+00:00

I love them!

I’ve been listening to them since I was a teenager!

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-23T17:08:35+00:00

I got so confused because my brain confused them with "Simon and Garfunkle" LMAO

This is fantastic!! Cosmo is such a sh*tshow but this makes it just a little bit better!

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-11-24T14:15:00+00:00

This is so great. But every time I see the brunette I flashback to her unfortunate role on scrubs where she was dating Ted, who is old enough to be her father, bald and gross. I know she only took the role for the exposure and her musical career, which worked out great, but that whole storyline made me so uncomfortable. I was under age at the time, so it was just really obviously gross

Title	When the queens say "dicks are abundant" it reminds me of Self Esteem by Garfunkel & Oates
Author	rlcute
Upvotes	175
Comments	7
Date	November 23, 2021 11:33 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/r0ba4l/when_the_queens_say_dicks_are_abundant_it_reminds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-the-queens-say-dicks-are-abundant-it-reminds.1086986 https://theredarchive.com/post/1086986

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