Why do I get angry when someone says 'You need to Calm down' - Show this to your partners, doctors, and others if they say this phrase

gluckkk · 2021-08-21T16:52:38+00:00

Ugh it’s especially infuriating when someone says “calm down” when you are speaking at a normal volume and a level tone. It’s so condescending. A lot of times it’s just the other person projecting their not-calm emotions onto you. 🙄

catifyy · 2021-08-21T20:39:44+00:00

Usually when someone tells me to calm down I just get even more upset. Never understood the reason why though but thanks for this.. Any tips on how to handle a situation when someone says this? I was thinking maybe just leaving the conversation completely if they ever say that to me.

wineandtrees · 2021-08-21T19:58:30+00:00

I wouldn’t bother showing it to anyone who does say that. They know what they are doing. It’s the number one tactic men in my family use to silence women in an argument along with “why are you getting angry/ why are you raising your voice?” after they’ve already started yelling at you.

They already know how they are acting. I just stop wasting my time talking to people who do this now.

Muffcakelord · 2021-08-21T22:35:28+00:00

Pretty sure this is also explained in "why does he do thay" as an intentional and effective abuse strategy to actively hurt and dominate someone. There's just no other way to understand it

macabrasive · 2021-08-22T18:06:19+00:00

Hahahahahahaha. My ex used to tell me to 'calm down' or to 'settle down' and I just turned it around on him and told him to 'calm up' or 'settle up' and it turned the tables entirely and he would turn into a child and get upset instead. I loved it.

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Title	Why do I get angry when someone says 'You need to Calm down' - Show this to your partners, doctors, and others if they say this phrase
Author	LucyStar3
Upvotes	462
Comments	16
Date	August 21, 2021 3:34 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p8tjo3/why_do_i_get_angry_when_someone_says_you_need_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-i-get-angry-when-someone-says-you-need-to.1059512 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059512

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