Beginning of this year I was talking to this LVM who would try to "convince" me to send him nudes, breadcrumb me, flake on me, etc. I know I was just attached to him because of the toxicity but when he would eventually call me, he would make me feel so special and make it clear how much he feels for me. Well we ended because he flaked on me last minute after I prepared for him to come spend a weekend with me (I told him I don't want to have sex or go too far but he was like 'balls in your court but I was hoping we could do some stuff because I don't know when we'll see each other again' ugh clear red flag).

Once it ended I started seeing a new guy who I'm still evaluating but has shown more HV traits, is consistent, caring, thoughtful, funny and committed.

The LVM has tried reaching out on three separate occasions. He calls and messages me on every platform, and the first two occasions I ignored him. He was texting me saying that he loves me and that he fucked up and that he wants to talk to me. He reached out again for a third occasion this week and he was begging to talk to me and have one more conversation. I spoke to him and told him that I am moving on but wish him the best but he kept sending paragraphs about how he's changed and better now and wants to share that with me.

Obviously I'm not going to do anything because I have a great guy who I really like. But I have an issue with sometimes being stuck in the past and I can't stop thinking about this LVM even though I know he's no good. I have a bad habit of believing words over actions. The LVM is words over actions, while my current boyfriend is more actions over words. So logically I know what is right for me.

Part of me is being really shitty and I feel like I was ignoring him because I knew if I talked to him I would have to end it for good. And now I feel weird that I shut it down again and he has gone quiet, I know it is done for good now. I'm currently looking for therapists because I know I'm a mess and am stuck on a lot of things in the past.

I know it's not something that makes me look great, but I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with this and if you have any advice.