In life you have to make major life choices. These major choices branch off and form your life course. Most of us are given options to take the hard right or easy left. We see these choices reflected in women’s lives every day. However, many women in this world have no choices and move from their fathers’ home to their husbands’. She is never free. This situation reflects most of history. Women have rarely have the power of choice. If you are reading this and have choice in your life, you should see this as the most treasured gift in history. It is the rarest and most hard fought for freedom women have obtained. We need to reframe your mind to truly appreciate this.

First, what does the path of the easy left look like? I think its familiar to all of us. Pandering to a man. You keep your low standards. You find him randomly on OLD. You quickly become obsessing with “keeping” him and worrying he like you. He gets away with blowing hot and cold. He pressures you into degrading sex acts because his ex “loved” it. You feel worthless so you go along with whatever he suggests. However, from the outside no one says anything because you are doing the right thing and are settled down with a man. They don't see his increasing need for sexual violence to get off. You focus on cooking and cleaning for him. He moves in. You do all the chores because he doesn’t “see” a mess. You get pregnant and he decides to go on a road trip to Mexico with the boys to blow off some steam. You feel abandoned and miserable most of the time. No one says anything because you’re doing all the right things in life. He doesn’t want to get married, but your okay to compromise your standards so he doesn’t leave you. He checks out further from the relationship. You have stopped having sex. You feel so alone with him. You’re too scared to check his phone. The years drag on and on. You have a couple more kids to bring you closer together. Suddenly its 10 years later and he’s leaving you for a younger girl. Don’t worry, he won’t fight you for custody. Wait, he marrying her after 6 months? He sends you a wedding invite to rub it in your face. The world blames you for not keeping him happy. You let yourself go. You should have tried harder.

We preach the “hard right” on FDS. What does this path look like? You never download OLD because you’re focusing on your degree, career, networking, hiking, working out or personal development. You feel lonely because everyone else is in a relationship, but you know being single isn’t a punishment. You really get to know yourself for a few months or years. You miss sex, you’re skin starved and you miss touch. It’s okay, you have internalized that you’re a social animal and human. You’re a sexual being. However, not just anyone gets to touch you. Respect, honestly and loyalty are the only way to your heart, mind and body. You want bonding. Passion. Love. You won’t settle because you know what settling gets you. People ask why you are single constantly. You make them uncomfortable. Many people call you selfish for choosing to be single. Maybe even your own family.

Throughout history humans have had to tackle loneliness and sorrow. These times build character and self-respect. You stand to gain so much because no man is actively tearing you down. No death by a thousand cuts for you. It’s the hard right ever easy? No, it is absolutely hard and demoralizing sometimes. You are going against the grain of society and people will take it personally. Just keeping moving forward.