If was just thinking about how expected it is for a woman to give up their dreams to support a greater man

This happens when married wives are expected to back line and stall their own careers to cheerlead and advance their husbands shot at being prominent in his. When gfs are expected to forgo educational advantages like an Ivy College to move to where is best for the bf’s profession or for him to get the best school etc.

It also still exists in corporate America in more traditional industries such as law. A lot of law is built off the backbone of lower level female labor. These big executive and rainmakers are only able to be such because they have equally intelligent wives at home holding it down, raising their kids and caring for their house. Because these women have chosen to shunt their talents not into advancing self but into his own advancement and rise to prominence. They sacrifice their lives to do it. Within the office, owing to the gendered nature of the hierarchy, these same men also have women sacrificing their lives for their advancement there in the form of older female secretaries.

In some cases these women have moved with them from firm to firm firm for them to get the best place for their practice and to maximize their earning. In some cases they have even moved with them from other states to support them. Often they could be doing better things with their lives, advancing their own bottom lines instead of pouring all their effort into a man they believe in and his advancement. Many of these secretary-attorney relationships outlast marriages and go for 20, 30+ years. These women sacrifice their own financial livelihood to stand with and faithfully serve these men and further their advancement for decades. It can almost become a corporate wife situation of sorts with you serving and supporting his basic needs while he goes out and gets money for both of you/ that also benefits you or allows you to earn more

I almost became a causality of it myself. Almost fell for it. I was supporting an attorney who advocated for me strongly and took care of all my needs within the office- fighting for better pay for me, making sure I was comfortable and cared for and protected. In turn I did the Corporate version of washing his socks and minding “his secular house”. He seemed like a good man, always pulling up those behind him. Waging moral fights to ensure fair pay and opportunities for equal treatment and advancement of marginalized groups both within the office and as a social justice warrior without.

It wasn’t my highest form, I knew I could be far more than someones assistant. That I had the potential for greatness within myself that went far beyond booking flight for/ being the servant of- a great man.

But I almost consented to that. Reasoning I was taken care of and it might not be so bad to set aside being my fullest self and pursuing my own dreams to stand by and support him in his greatness until he retired in a few years. If I stayed with him that length of time it would put me in my 40s making a career change unlikely and difficult for me at that point. Hard to take out major loans for a grad degree at 40 knowing you have a shortened work span to repay them in, KWIM. So resolving to stand by him and follow him for that length of time meant tacitly accepting letting my own shot in life pass me by- to support his greatest good.

He was an extremely likeable guy with excellent leadership who was a strong advocate and social warrior for many causes I admired. I thought perhaps supporting him and doing his grunt work enough for him to fight these causes would be as good as my fighting them myself in a more primary way. It seemed a symbiotic relationship where we could both take care of each other.

The day came when he began to act strangely. To believe lies about me in the office and whisper about me unfavorably behind my back- although he knew first hand the truth of who I was and the good I had been to him. When others said ragingly inappropriate things meant to smear me in the office I came to realize he did not object or stand up for me. What would I be doing wasting my life shit for someone who knowing who I was would quietly assent to and privately agree with shit talking about me. I also came to see he wasn’t loyal either to any of the women giving their lives to support him in his romantic life. He had a 10 year girlfriend he laughed to his male colleagues that he would never marry and made a fool of by flirting openly behind her back right there in the office. She was giving her life to support him- packing him up for trips, waiting home alone for him to return, cooking for him. For what???,

Had I done the same in the corporate sense I would’ve been the next fool.

It happens all the time. Woman gives life to serve man- man cheats on or betrays her.

A LVM will just see a woman who does this as less, a weak tool for having consented to, willingly bent over to be used. They kick you all the more so

Now I’m fully pursuing my own career interests. It feels good to be free of any obligation to anyone else