Why you should never move in with them

chateauduchat · 2020-10-28T17:22:27+00:00

OP I am so sorry!!!

Please when you do heal, make sure you leave quickly and quietly, and have all your arrangements in order WITHOUT him knowing, if you can. I HIGHLY suggest you have a police escort there in case he tries to pull you back into his clutches or hurt you in any way like he already has. In the meantime, use the grey rock method if you can. Make sure he doesn’t know where you live with your family. Sending you tons of prayers of safety and healing. Whatever you do, don’t go back to him. Yes you may miss him, but don’t go back. Write a list of all the awful things he did. And stick to it. Take time to mourn of course but do everything you can to be held accountable. I would also suggest reading Bancroft’s book Why Does He Do That, as well as Jackson Mackenzie’s Psychopath Free (it’s not for just psychopaths, it’s describing other abusive personalities as well). Please take care.

Summerisle7 · 2020-10-28T17:11:42+00:00

I'm so sorry you're in this situation! I hope you heal from your surgery SOON and can get back to your family. Please be very careful about letting him know of your plans. It's very scary that he flipped a chair you were sitting in. We're here for you!

Averyhvw · 2020-10-28T17:25:18+00:00

Please have someone come and take care of you after surgery (not him)! I’ve heard too many horror stories about how lvm treat their girlfriends or wives after they have surgery and are dependent on them. For your own safety have a friend or relative come stay with you.

2020-10-28T17:24:44+00:00

You’re very brave for sharing this and I want you to know that you deserve better than the way he is treating you. I know that and I don’t even know you. Please be careful in the process of leaving him and know we have your back

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-10-28T19:10:35+00:00

How old is he? I’m gonna take a wild guess and say you’re either late teens/early 20s and he’s at least late 20s, but probably in his thirties (maybe older)?

UnstrirringCoffee · 2020-10-28T19:18:47+00:00

You have fallen into the clutches of a narc. He probably recognize the abuse you suffered in the past and that's what he honed in on. I suspect there was also a good amount of love-bombing early on in the relationship.

Please, get yourself out sooner rather than later. Every day you stay with him will put you more in danger. It's better to recover after you surgery with family or friends. Is it abosultely not possible to move back before you have it?

SuitablePerformance3 · 2020-10-28T17:34:23+00:00

I'm so sorry girl! You deserve so much better and I'm so glad you're getting out! Remember to be safe. And that what you're doing now is so important and that every step you take from now on will be to your happiness.

Rockypoo13 · 2020-10-28T17:45:37+00:00

Take care of yourself. Depending on the COVID situation, there might be options to continue online? Otherwise, many other schools are doing online courses, so transferring could happen more easily than usual. If it's at all possible, can a family member come pick you up after the surgery and escort you on the airplane home? Since mobility will be an issue, there are complimentary wheelchair services for all airlines for those who need it.

I'm so sorry this is happening. You're strong enough to overcome this! We're rooting for you.

sahu_ · 2020-10-28T17:37:30+00:00

You've been such a brave woman! And you've come to the realisation early on with this LVM, I'm so happy for you OP! Thanks for sharing your story.

Hortensia78 · 2020-10-28T19:12:46+00:00

I a sorry you're in this position but it's great that you are making plans for a better future. I came so close to moving to a different country for a lvm when I was 20. Thank God he showed me his true colors before the move and I came to my senses.

Title	Why you should never move in with them
Author	throwawaym-ylife
Upvotes	67
Comments	14
Date	October 28, 2020 5:27 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jji1zs/why_you_should_never_move_in_with_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-you-should-never-move-in-with-them.325584 https://theredarchive.com/post/325584

Comments