It's a dichotomy that we sometimes discuss here, and I thought this piece on Medium explains it quite well. The author is a clinical psychologist.

Quote from article:

In all other spheres of life (ethnicity, age, culture, religion, disability) we celebrate difference and take account of differences when trying to help people. When it comes to gender, our society seems to be trying to deny any difference, while at the same time paradoxically stigmatising masculinity. However, where services have tried to adapt to men rather than trying to make men change, the results are very promising.

He also describes the mixed messaging boys and men receive as a double-bind. Boys and men receive an explicit message of "open up" alongside an implicit message of "man up". This compounds the problems rather than helping.