Something that seems ignored a lot is how the maltreatment, manipulation and controlling of men in relationships is so normalized that websites like women.com will publish whole tutorials on it without hiding its contents at all. I am not talking about "how to get the hot guy to notice you" - that exists equally for men and women, yet the ones I will present are a different breed in both cruelty and popularity.
Here are some headlines:
How To Manipulate Your Man, In The Best Possible Way - women.com
How to Manipulate Men: The Art of Getting a Guy to Do What You Want - lovepanky.com
3 Devious ways to manipulate your man - sheknows.com
Obviously, it appears as though this way of female control over their male partners is something that does not really fit into some peoples narrative, yet it is exactly these people that will use the alleged wrongdoings of someone unrelated to the relationahip - maybe even past generations - to justify their abuse, which would not even be justifiable if it was the wrongdoings of their partner - in that case, they should leave them.
Here are some attempts to try and make themselves feel better about being oppressors and abusers:
Someone once told me that men need three things in order to be happy: fed, fucked, and flattered. If you do this in a relationship, then you can pretty much get away with anything. [...] But I needed to know really, how can we get men right where we need them in order to maximize our own pleasure, productivity, and happiness in our relationships and in our lives? Let's be honest, we all want to know how to manipulate men. When it comes to making men happy, I'd always think to myself: what's the point? We live in a misogynistic world already. But here's the thing: when he's content, he'll end up devoting more of his time, energy, (whatever you need, really), to you. And at the end of the day, this is all about increasing your pleasure. A little bit of effort can go a very long way. Never forget: women hold the power in the relationship. Don't like the world manipulation? How about WO-manipulation? Okay, fine. Let's substitute it with role play.So-- how can you role play your way into the relationship of your dreams, where your man is essentially catering to your every whim and desire?
The thought of manipulating someone seems sketchy, and even, well, manipulative. But to be honest, men and women do it all the time, subtly sometimes, and outrightly at other times. [...] Women have been stuck with the ‘weaker gender’ tag since forever. But that view is heading for a complete makeover these days because women now know how to manipulate men and get things their way! It’s not the best way to get work done, but you know, a girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do.
One thing we have always been superb at is our innate ability to manipulate men into getting them exactly where we want them. Now, I am not saying that this is the best way to get things done but due to us being treated so poorly throughout the years, can anyone really blame us for using this to our advantage? We have accepted the weaker tag for so long, that there really isn’t a woman out there who should feel guilty for being able to get her way, one way or another.
Men manipulate society. But women manipulate men. The biggest mistake that most people make is that they consider men and women to be the same, thinking alike, or traveling on the same road. The truth is, however, tangent apart, for while men seek out ways to control and have power over various things under the sky, women, on the other hand, are more likely to zero down on guys as their target, when it comes to the controlling factor. So, whether it is your boss whom you wish to manipulate to move ahead in your career, the guy of your dreams whom you wish to win over, or your hubby to monitor his moves and your life, you have several reasons to target men for. Whatever be the cause, all women singularly desire for just one thing — manipulating men and getting things out of them as if they (men) were doing it on their own.
Women know how to control men. We do. It’s a skill we had to learn because, for centuries, women have been marginalized and overlooked in our male-dominated culture. Women don’t get paid the same, women have men legislating what they can with their own bodies — women, to this day, are not granted the same social, political, or economic status as most men. [...] Treat them like equal partners and see if you can compromise to get what you want from them. And if that doesn’t work… control away. (He won’t even know it’s happening.)
misandrist feminist-friendly magazines don't really cover it up and instead make it sound like an FDS post. Keep in mind that they believe presenting their points like that makes them funny or something - and their 7.5M+ Instagram followers seem to agree:
That being said, it definitely sucked when you realized this relationship stuff doesn’t automatically turn you into a “people person”—meaning that your boyfriend, like 99% of the population, definitely has some habits that
make you want to rip his fucking throat out destroy his credit score seriously reconsider the whole monogamy thing. While past me would have advised you to dump any guy who seems a little too happy to let you pay, or is emotionally attached to his video games, I’ve recently realized that there can be some really great stuff hiding behind this idiot boy behavior.
Or they are award-winning feminist authors who joke about real stories of men being beaten to death for refusing sex, then they don't need a justification to write tutorials on how to manipulate a man into consenting to intercourse they apparently believe he otherwise would not consent to, either:
This may sound manipulative, and that is because it is. We're talking about your boyfriend allowing you to shove it in his rear, so the time for mind games is now.
As stated numerous times by me, anal can be nice for everyone and the restriction of men's sexual pleasure by shaming or violence is misandristic, but how about we slowly but surely introduce people to the idea that men deserve basic respect and a right not to consent as well?
The variety of advice is astounding:
From more traditional forms of abuse (countless more in the articles):
A great tactic? Catch your man off guard. Did you get in a fight about how he never does the dishes? Well--allow a full blown argument to happen. Then, a few days later, act as though nothing occured. This will confuse, startle, and scare your man. Why are you fine all the sudden? Then, put a dirty dish on the counter and happily say, "Babe, you mind getting that?" He'll be so scared to start another war with you--and legitimately afraid that you might be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde-- that he'll get to it immediately.
a second herway.net article:
It’s time for a little bit of manipulation. [...] Casually mention that you’re really thinking about moving to another city because you have a job opportunity or just let him know that you’re bored with the place you’re in right now and you want something new and exciting. [...] But never leave things just at words. Make plans like you’re really going to do it. Make your plan believable and real. Even if you don’t have any plans, make him believe that you do. Do absolutely anything necessary to shake him up a bit and make him realize he needs you and wants to spend his life with you. Sometimes men need that little push.
Any and every time you do something wrong, just let him know that the sole purpose of doing that was to please him. How were you to know that he wouldn’t appreciate the surprise holiday you booked for the both of you? How were you to know he wouldn’t like your new handbag or your new sexy lingerie or that luxurious perfume?
To black magic mind-control scams:
A strong black magic mantra is much needed to control a lover in life. Do you have any Kala Jadu spells right away? If I want to control my boyfriend’s mind is not truly difficult. It may be just happened by rituals. Therefore, It is possible to change their worse thoughts when they anger. What appropriate resource you have for convincing your bf? Most noteworthy must try to dominate your ex-boyfriend in a relationship. How to take control of man’s mind to make fall in love? The expert is using the Vashikaran mantra to control your boyfriend’s love permanently. Black magic to get ex back now. It works 100% effective if you wish to control someone for getting married. Thus, you can solve the issues with your ex.
Some others, however, like to use euphemisms. Instead of abuse, they call it "funny ways to annoy" and instead of psychological torture, they call it "prank". I will be honest, this one is the worst to me. Especially because their bullying tutorial suggests getting his "friends" to help torture him. The abuse and realization that he has no friends to support him might have serious consequences and it is disturbing how this is presented as innocent and funny:
Would it not be fun to see your patient boyfriend lose his temper once in a while and ask you to stop with your tricks? It will surely give both of you some memorable moments to think about later in life.
What the fuck.
Jenine, for example, used her mascara, eyeliner, talcum and red lipstick to paint a joker face on her boyfriend while he was asleep. Then, went on to take some pictures and shared them on a chat group that had all their common friends. He was irritated beyond measure and she – all their friends – were in splits.
If you really want to annoy your boyfriend, ask him to plan something for a change, and then, reject whatever place/plan he suggests. Even when he picks something of your choice, tell him he doesn’t know you at all, when you both know he picked what you wanted. This is hand-down one of the things to say to annoy your boyfriend that will never fail to yield results.
Like depression and suicidiality.
Tell him about all the guys sliding into your DMs or the cute guy from college who is subtly engaging in some harmless flirting on you. When you are hanging out with your boyfriend, you can find an opportune moment and point the random guys, like those at the supermarket, restaurant, etc who are totally checking you out. Talk to other guys and ignore him. He may be the most composed guy in the world, but this will go a long way in annoying him. One of the tricky but bankable pranks to make your boyfriend mad over text is to on purpose ‘accidentally’ send him a text meant for a guy who has been hitting on you.
Also great when you need to eventually frame him as controlling to hide your abuse, huh?
When he is out with his friends or is attending an important event, text him gibberish or some random message about a fight you had months ago. This will leave him scratching his head, trying to figure out what you are saying and what has gone wrong this time.
In case your partner snores, you must record his snoring. [...] But hey, to take irritating your boyfriend a step further, you can always hold it over his head. For instance, if you want to mess with your boyfriend over text, you can send him a message saying if he doesn’t return home with your favorite chicken wings, you’re sharing the recording on the family/friends group. If he takes you seriously and goes all the way to get you the wings, it’ll just double the fun of the prank.
There is more of that shit, but now to the worst one. I'll include their disturbing attempt to downplay the seriousness of this as well:
Get pally with his gang and play a prank on him with their help. They will know how to annoy your boyfriend in ways you cannot even imagine! Tell him you’re calling him for “an emergency” or make a friend do the same. You can feign an “emergency” with the help of his friends and witness him totally freaking out. Nothing too serious though, we wouldn’t want him getting the fright of his life either. Just plain old, good-hearted fun that will annoy him at first but later appreciate.
What's even worse when they group up to psychologically torture you, is that apparently people around you actually consider this okay, so you might be afraid to break up because of it.
If you expect your boyfriend to "appreciate" bullying at any point in time, you should ask yourself why.
Not a single one of these are funny, not a single one of these should be accepted and not a single one of these should be socially acceptable. Abuse is not fun, psychological torture is not fun, bullying is not fun.
But hey, the site is using misandristic concepts, like the "real man" and so on, as well, so whatever.
There is a big difference between dating a real man and dating a boy, or worse still a man child.
Well and there is another issue. And that's what happened here:
The voluntary non-conformity to misandristic requirements put on men expressed by femboys is something to support and its acceptability will be an inevitable result of fighting (in part internalized) misandry. Unfortunately, some do not feel like femboys are mentioned by name often enough. I argue, however, that there is quite a lot of criticism regarding the misandristic restrictions put on men, their behavior, expression, sexuality and so on around here - criticism that is relevant to femboys and the discrimination they face in a misandristic attempt to make them adhere to the restrictions put onto men (and those considered as such by misandrists) and punish their failure to do so. I criticize it all the time.
Could you show me some examples of MRAs, or any men's rights group for that matter, actively supporting femboys? Just yesterday I was doing some research on this very topic but could hardly find anything in r/mensrights supporting femboys, and neither in r/leftwingmaleadvocates or even in r-menslib. Though, gender roles are at the core of all major issues men have, so any group that claims to support men's rights but doesn't seek to challenge traditional gender roles would only be pretending to care about men, similarly to those conservatives like Peterson or Shapiro who try to come off as helping men but then go on a tantrum because some male pop star wore a dress and this goes against their precious gender roles.
What is not okay, however, is what was done here:
How can I secretly feminize my boyfriend?
Answers (a lot of which were arguably influenced by kinks):
[...] Once he begins doing his own feminization to try and surprise/please you, you might want to begin presenting the idea that if he takes some herbal supplements he will be almost 100% your girl and you feel tingles thinking about it. Buy some herbal "Curves.. on Amazon" get him to take these every day. These won't do much but it's a prelude to getting hormones and testosterone blockers. Once he is in the habit and looks for your compliments then you can encourage trying hormones (not just estrogen you MUST have a testosterone blocker - spironolact - otherwise you'll actually make more testosterone). Key thing is at first use the testosterone (horniness) to introduce and control him, once he is actively trying to feminize for you then begin the herbals and ultimately hormones.
Be nice to the new girl that you boyfriend will be, Make HEr coffee every morning and put birth control pills in it ever day.
Well if he doesn't cover his drinks I do know one way...
Can add breasts herbs to foods an drinks , I've been fixing foods and drinks had bit of growth , for 2 months, the breasts are showing improvement an doing breast exercises, works by circle messages, give it go see what happens
You can easily slip him estradiol tablets in his food or supplement capsules if he takes them. It will change him, so be sure it's really what you want.
Supporting boys being comfortable in whatever way they present means rejecting any actions that take that control away and unconsensually try to force or manipulate him into being someone he does not want to be on his own - even if that would be a femboy.
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