Dealing with cheating

mdcrubengonza · 2017-07-27T22:40:07+00:00

Women are evil. Don't look at her instagram, that is the face she wants the public to see of her, you know her true self. It takes time, I felt humiliated when my ex cheated on me, but in the end it hardened my resolve to not give into what women want of me.

nemosolder · 2017-07-28T00:27:13+00:00

the very best revenge is to live better.she never loved you man it was just your turn.

igetbucketsallday · 2017-07-27T22:41:58+00:00

Sorry bro. Many of us have been in the same boat. Look, be thankful you weren't legally attached to this girl. That's the huge silver lining. You can clean break. One of the hardest things for a man to realize is that women don't care about men near as much as men care about women. Men love women, women love children. Women see men as utility, even if it's emotional utility. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost.

As far as your depression, it's inevitable. You're going through a literal withdraw. Your brain is so accustomed to her that you're literally addicted to her. It's not love, it's brain chemistry. Focus on bettering yourself. Focus on new things.

Oh, and at some point you'll want to call her, talk to her, see her. Do what you want, but that's a bad fucking idea.

liftweights · 2017-07-28T00:21:03+00:00

my relationship was way shorter and I didn't catch her cheating although it may have happened. she left me unexpectedly. I was in complete ruins and it's been almost 3 months and while I still miss the sex and companionship I now see that she was nothing special. I was lonely so my mind had to make the only girl available into a unicorn so I would stick with her. it's a trick man as real as it feels right now. I know the pain in your chest, the anxiety, obsessively checking their social media and thinking of them with someone else. you just have to get through it. take up healthy habit, clean up your diet, lift. you will make it. coming from me, I was a sobbing bitch for weeks. you don't need her and she's a degenerate whore. invest in YOU

mrk68 · 2017-07-27T23:40:02+00:00

how do you do it?

You finally see it for what it is. Love is just a chemical reaction in the brain which is meant to promote the reproduction of our species. It has worked to increase human populations up to this point, but now society is too populated, and corrupt with greed and slut culture, so you have to now reprogram yourself to ignore this emotion in order to improve your chances of survival and to thrive.

Once you understand that women use men as tools, and that you can live a fulfilling life without them, life gets less expensive, less emotional, much more enjoyable.

Need companionship? Get a dog.

MobTilliDie · 2017-07-28T00:27:36+00:00

lift bruh, hold frame bruh... On a serious note, when i moved on from the useless and stupid dating game, i went cold turkey. To make it entertaining, i visualized the lady was dead, and conducted her funeral all in my cannabis enhanced mind. Wazzamm!! Now am fucking free, deleted phone numbers, unfriend on facebook... In other words, don't acknowledge her cuz she's dead. Now u don't wanna stalk a ghost eh?

QuattroBaje3na · 2017-07-28T03:36:59+00:00

Same situation. Dated girl for 3 years, sex every other day. One night she says "I don't want sex anymore". Then eventually she says "I don't want sex until I'm married". Then she says "I'm not sure if I'm in love with you anymore".

She claims she's bored of our relationship.

Shit, I'm bored of her. She just watches Youtube on TV and stares at her phone 99% of the time.

Shocks me how she'd rather stare at her phone than have amazing sex but it's because she realizes she's hitting the wall. Turning 38 soon and wants kids + marriage within a year.

I'm not going to marry a woman who suddenly withholds sex. Nor will I marry a woman who gave away her best years to Chad.

Thank God my friend has a room I can rent from him so I can drop this bitch.

phreshstart · 2017-07-27T23:22:12+00:00

You got of easy. I've lost 8 years... and I got of easy, there are the ones that go trough divorce and lose half their shit and pay alimony 18 fucking years for 2-3 kids that they don't even get to see that often.

The instagram checking will pass. Finding fun stuff to do takes time, first you have to go trough the "red pill rage". Next you'll slowly learn to accept yourself without the soulmate fantasy.

married- · 2017-07-28T02:11:50+00:00

Women are not capable of deeper feelings, thought, like men are. Men are the philosophers, engineers, started all major religions contemplating the meaning of life and God, we fight wars and die for our band of brothers. Women obsess over shoes and how slutty her friend is. Honestly, their connection to you is so fleeting that to them cheating and moving up the chain is nothing, she'll lose not one minute of sleep over it and be over the relationship in hours. they simply don't have the depth of character men do, it's as simple as that.

Llodarr · 2017-07-28T01:09:10+00:00

No new advice to add, just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Mine did it after 17 years. Peace will come brother, in time.

silive · 2017-07-27T22:57:35+00:00

Beware of NAWALT because it's the most dangerous animal out there! P.S. Sorry to inform you but the Briffault's law of biology doesn't allow for NAWALTs with NO EXCEPTIONS!

QuattroBaje3na · 2017-07-28T05:03:38+00:00

Been in the same situation man.

Women operate very drastically different from men when it comes to emotions and attachment.

They slowly break away long before they end it and monkey branch as to lessen the blow. Leaving most guys feeling like it was over very suddenly outside of her possibly being a bit more distant which in many cases is not noticed. Women honestly do not care how this effects you, all they care about is how they are feeling and what they want. They do not care if you have closure or anything else. The most they will see you as is a save spot, a place they can return to if their current attempt at dating up fails.

The best advice i can give is to go out and do shit with friends and stay active and engaged unless you find no enjoyment in that, then sleep. And find friends you can vent to about your issues that wont run away from your negativity going forward.

Also stop checking up on her, like its normal, but it will only result in pain and odds are its a facade anyway.

OMEGA195 · 2017-07-28T01:44:47+00:00

Can't be mad dude, it's like being mad at a monkey for throwing their shit, it's their nature and they don't know any better. I hit the gym and try to keep myself preoccupied with real friends and hobbies. Oh and attaining my ultimate goal money. Delete that instaho account while you're at it too.

redsfan277 · 2017-07-28T02:31:07+00:00

It hurts...you feel like shit...you feel used and abused..and worthless...

Like how can someone be so heartless right?

Well i feel you bro. I had girls who i truly loved tell me they love me...they say 'i love you' yet when we broke up 2 days later she was with another guy....like i didnt even exist.

I honestly am starting to realize that women don't love me the way i love them...women dont love us the way we love them. They love what we do for them and what we can provide nothing more.

Think of all the flaws you saw in her and if you truly would be better off with someone like that. When i think about most of my exes if you take off your 'what-if' blind glasses you can see them for what they were...all the nagging, the extra work you had to...the walking on eggshells else you'd never hear the end of it.

Start thinking about yourself and women are dime and dozen my friend.

The more you spend time alone and in your head the more time you'll be depressed thinking about her....i haven't gotten over my oneitis and its been years. I still sometimes reminisce...honestly i dont think it would've worked out anyways bc there were redflags i chose to shove under the rug.

You need to start a hobby, something different than the things you used to do with her...

I know it sucks...it sucks you can't enjoy awesome music or things you used to because it reminds you of her...i hate that....but do keep yourself occupied brother.

MattFoley79 · 2017-07-28T04:23:34+00:00

No kids? No divorce? Consider yourself blessed.

I'm 37, two kids from two women, and on the hook for $1400/mth in CS.

After my divorce, I wised up and got snipped. But the damage was done.

Never forget how you're feeling right now. Take it with you. Treat women accordingly.

HumanBeingOfEarth · 2017-07-28T05:58:48+00:00

Delete any and all virtual/real memories of her. Come take the real red pill in this sub. Learn the terminology and the real nature of women. You will experience anger for feeling lied to for so long but in the end you will heal. Once you've reached this far you will come to the philosophical debate if you want to try again or go completely your own way. Understand you can still go your own way and have one night stands and/or fuck escorts. If you take the red pill and choose to go your own way you will be left with all the free time in the world for self improvement and spiritual growth. If you decide to take the purple pill and submit back into the blue pill world understand this will lead back into suffering. Overall the choice is yours and as someone who's been in a similar situation I hope you choose red.

eltonl · 2017-07-28T00:08:16+00:00

Forgiveness. It's hard but it was the only way. Hate will destroy you. Forgive her and go your own way.

0rsus · 2017-07-28T01:53:40+00:00

Theres no cure to expedite the process, its just time, and its different with everyone. But in a year or two youll look back and be like "rofl wtf?"

Guaranteed.

Accept the fact shes a whore; thats how it goes. Its in their nature to be whores (60/40 anthropology).

Accept the fact youre better, and if you still want pussy, play the sympathy card to get a new bitch face down ass up, hit it and quit it and see how you feel.

THATS "empowerment".

Reprogramming_Life · 2017-07-28T03:17:02+00:00

Go no contact. That means never try to contact her again or look at any of her social media accounts. It would only fuck you up more inside to see her or know anything about her. At some point she may try to contact you in the future, maybe even decades later when shit doesn't work out for her. Tell her to fuck off then or you'll be put through the same shit by her again.

ididntsaythatspez · 2017-07-28T04:18:32+00:00

It's easy, they have access, they have opportunity, they rarely get caught and even if they do they have no accountability. Most view monogamy as a restriction not a goal or comfort these days.

Any blue pill guys lurking, look out for novelty seeking behaviors and attitudes. They are major red flags for future infidelity and I conservatively feel like I see them in probably 70% of young women today.

mdcrubengonza · 2017-07-28T04:40:12+00:00

Welcome. Some say you misjudged her. Some will say they are all worthless whores. All will say that AWALT. We'll keep you company and help you find your peace.

Ineedabetternametoo · 2017-07-28T14:21:50+00:00

Knowledge. Go study briffaults law and female solipsism. You'll have your answers as to why she acted so "uncharacteristically".

You'll not only be alright, when you grasp the sheer size of the issue you'll be incredibly happy you dodged the bullet to end all bullets relatively unscathed.

knightwhosaysneet · 2017-07-28T18:31:47+00:00

she didn't even care as if all those years meant nothing

Stop thinking that women has the same principles as men.

I had so many chances to cheat on her

Never pass up decent pussy. No matter what.

I don't feel like finding someone else just to get broken again

So don't. Time to grow up and tuck those little rainbow feelings deep down in the pit of your stomach and start embracing your heart that is turning black and cold.

nothing I used to find fun interests me anymore and I've developed this fucking pathetic habit of checking her Instagram now and then

That's because you created a life for yourself based around her. Bet you won't do that shit again. Time to get yourself some hobbies that you wanna fucking do. No more "going out to a new restaurant", or "going an get ice cream at a local spot" or "going on couples bowling night". Figure out what the fuck you wanna do. Don't try that gay ass feminine "create a 2 year plan" bullshit. You cannot control the future...and you cannot control the past. Time to be a Jedi and stop worrying about past and present. Focus on the now.

What the fuck are you going to do with your life right the fuck now? Not in 5 minutes...not at the next commercial break. RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. You can only control now. So do something you want to do. Pick up that guitar for 30 minutes, pick up that book, take a walk, go surfing, etc. Right now. Trust me...you won't care about her after a week or so.

csehszlovakze · 2017-07-28T07:05:09+00:00

The shittiest thing is it's like she didn't even care as if all those years meant nothing.

she didn't give a fuck and those years meant her nothing.

give yourself time to heal, and never fall for this shit again.

welcome to MGTOW!

seminoleSTEVE · 2017-07-28T13:56:48+00:00

Enjoy your freedom. Live for you and only you now.

Heres what I do: Get off of social media, it is the worst thing to ever exist, completely useless. Block her number, never even send a peep to that chick again. Remember AWALT and never LTR again. Workout, game, read, learn, hobbies, money, health, workout. Meetups for social interaction and finding new friends.

801735 · 2017-07-27T22:43:30+00:00

how do you even move on afterwards

First it embraces the pain, then it accepts the pain, then it becomes angry, then it moves on. After that it has more chance to have less preciousssss expectations. Precioussss expectations, it now understands, is source of hurt. Hurt teaches it price of "selfish perhaps".

nothing I used to find fun interests me anymore

Now it writes preciousss fun internetrests on paper. Later it reads the paper. Paper is joy again. Paper is old unfucked it again. It can now do again. It starts rising like sun tomorrow at dawn from dusk of today.

pathetic habit of checking her Instagram now and then

It googles "hosts file for ____" (it inserts currently used OS). Knowledge is used, file it edits.

It needs not thankyou. We know.

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2017-07-27T23:08:56+00:00

Man people can be shitty as fuck and they cheat for whatever retarded ass reason. Dont look it as AWALT tho man. Despite what people say here it is an echo chamber and everyone here has been hurt or knows someone who has. Best thing to do is be thankful you werent married to the bitch for 1.

2: be thankful you dont have kids with the bitch. 3. Work on shit you like to do, shit you didnt do alot of cause she was around.(If this includes smoking and drinking, its better if stay off those just cause you will be healthier in the long run.) 4. If three makes you think of her then, do other shit. 5. Reflect in everything that went on now that you have had time to process. Whatever her complaints were about you, examine them with a microscope and see if there is any validity to them. 6. What were her traits that made u attracted to her. If you get into another relationship make sure its not with another bitch. 7. Final step, REALIZE LIFE GOES ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are all animalistic assholes inside and just like animals all we do is think about wats happening now. Im hungry, i gotta piss, i gotta shit, i wanna fuck etc. Think about the future and how free you are in this moment and how free you will be tomorrow.

jstagn · 2017-07-28T04:13:30+00:00

Give it time. Hit the gym. Buy a hooker. Talk to friends.

Edit: And don't ever take her back, even as friends. Forgive and peace out.

SpecialSnowflake420 · 2017-07-28T04:52:44+00:00

What you do now is that the free time away from her to improve yourself even further so when she runs into you in the future, and you're all happy and successful she's like, "Awe dang, I gave up on that for nothing and now and in debt and single with children. I should go kill myself."

GarbageTruckJuice · 2017-07-28T05:24:08+00:00

I don't feel like finding someone else just to get broken again.

Welcome..to the real world.

JagsDontCare · 2017-07-28T05:28:38+00:00

You only feel bad because you don't have other go-to girls to fuck. Develop a situation of abundance and you will be over her quick. I've gotten cheated on before and really it's about attitude and mindset.

fasterfind · 2017-07-28T05:35:20+00:00

They really don't get very attached in relationships. I think that drives a lot of their behavior.

To get over it an infatuation or addiction, you need something new. Take away my favorite video game, I find a new one that cages my brain. Take away my favorite drug, I find something else.

Take away my favorite girl... you see the pattern here. It really is that simple.

The problem is when you take my favorite drug, or video game, or pass time, and I don't have a replacement. Then I go through withdrawals.

You are going to experience withdrawals of all kinds. Dopamine, oxytocin, etc.

A dog can help with oxytocin. You need something cute to look at, which loves you, and gives you a form of physical affection. Something to hug and touch. Get a hooker for the night. Masturbate every day.

For dopamine withdrawal, you just need anything that feels good. It's the universal feel good drug. Ever notice how if someone gets dumped, they start eating a SHITLOAD of junk food? And if they're bitching about life, they'll feel way better once they get some tasty food? Dopamine, friend. Anything that makes you feel good is a source of it.

Beyond physical addition, there's psychological addition. There's things that remind you of her. Throw them away. Avoid all triggers. As soon as you feel triggered, go somewhere else... don't follow the thought trails that you normally do when you suddenly remember her and then start to feel shitty about life.

There is no real cure. You either find a new infatuation, OR you give it 5, 10, maybe 15 years if that's how long it takes for you to forget about her.

aaronimpact · 2017-07-28T06:34:29+00:00

She's someone else's problem now.

6128702 · 2017-07-28T06:43:13+00:00

well, take a piece of paper or more, for me it took 3 pages back then, and write down all her flaws, every lil thing you didnt like about her, every lil hurting thing she said to you. just write it down and keep it in your wallet. every time your pussy addictive brain starts working, take out the notes you have written and read it. i promise you inna few days you tricked your brain.

Davine_Chi · 2017-07-28T07:26:33+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss, friend. Only thing I can suggest is going No Contact. You can start by heading over to /r/ExNoContact; that's what I did on an alt account earlier this year. I wasn't sure how I was ever going to survive and move on, but I haven't spoke to her since February. You'd be surprised at the support you can get over there. If you do decide to contribute there, try to keep the MGTOW overtures in check. There's a lot of people over there also going through the same or worse; very emotional stuff and our philosophy may not be well-received. Good luck.

mizwe11 · 2017-07-28T11:03:10+00:00

The depression is normal and temporary you're suffering from PTSD, it will pass and things will start to interest you again. My advice is just look after yourself physically and embrace the freedom when you start to feel it. You found out quite early on at least it's not 13 years. You've seen what a woman (one you thought "loved" you) is capable of first hand, use that experience to grow stronger and more resilient in future. You'll eventually heal I promise, I did, but at the time I thought I'd never heal.

Ludovico · 2017-07-28T11:48:32+00:00

Step one: go no contact. Block EVERYTHING. After that recovery takes two things, time and effort. Put effort into yourself, self care. I recommend writing a journal, mindfulness meditation, and talking about your thoughts with very clise friends or family. Bonus if you like to read because now us the perfect time to read some stoic/buddhist philosophy or relationship books.

Use this trauma to learn about yourself and the world. Dont be a victim!!! Take control and use this time to become better! Learn, grow!

Aredon86 · 2017-07-28T13:15:39+00:00

For me it has always been half the length of the relationship to get over it fully. From time to time you think you got your shit together, and couple of weeks later your mind is full of shit and depression again. So according to my calculation you are gonna have a fun 2,5 years ahead. (Not fun) From now on try to be critical of females (and males obviously too) and try to get to know yourself, your weaknesses and strengths. Try to avoid jumping into a relationship, and i would suggest also avoiding sex for a while too. Sex is just a drug, and you are right now a junkie. Try to become a recovering junkie and after that a former junkie. If you can handle recreational drug using (sex) after that, go ahead. But be prepared for rollercoaster of chemical inbalance in your brain in the future.

EDIT: Cut all ties to your ex. Do not try to not think about her, because you will. talk to your friends who you trust. All you need is time and self reflection, and obserwing the world IMO.

plutosheen · 2017-07-28T23:39:12+00:00

You will look back on this as a major life lesson. It will get better with time even though you can't feel that now. Meanwhile, take some time to grieve the relationship and be kind to yourself. Do anything you want except jump into another relationship. Go mgtow.

w33tad1d · 2017-07-29T01:38:37+00:00

Man, I feel your pain. You are in the place I was back in September. Before I get to that, my advice is this:

Keep your head up. Live one day at a time (Like AA). Your pain is real. You will rebuild your life one brick at a time. Dont assume that what she did means you suck, it doesnt. If you feel suicidal, please reach out to someone.

If this helps at all, here is my story. Last September I put the pieces together and discovered my wife of 7 years was having an affair. I assumed she was planning to leave and I didnt want to wait for her perfect her exit to maximize the pain (her economic gain). So I decided to confront her. Took 3 separate attempts attempts where she would deflect and each time I was more direct. Once I was direct I asked her if was interested in staying married (a ploy on my end to structure the situation to give me the best exit possible) to which she said no.

There I was, 7 years of marriage and it was over. She couldnt care less. Her statement was "You were a good husband. I just got a better option and I couldnt pass it up!" I could only think, I had chances to dump her and get a better option and I was committed. Married for 7 years, and I supported her through 3 bouts with nearly fatal cancer. Surgery, chemo and radiation (3 times). I was there caring for her and working to keep everything together and still improving our life. She discarded me so quick. That hurt so much. I realized all I was an ATM to her. She used me and discarded me. It made me feel like shit. I was discarded like a condom.

Stop looking at her social media. Work on you. Build your life. You have value. Build it brick by brick. No words can ease the pain. scars dont heal, you just learn to live with them.

Best man.

SUEDE2BLACK · 2017-07-29T01:44:36+00:00

Delete everything Don't dwell on the last five years as waste.after you eat a burger you don't say you wasted five minutes you enjoyed it for that moment the moment is gone but it doesn't take away the experience.Life goes on you will probably always love her but it gets easier with time that's life that's how men love long and deep just take what you learned and apply it in the future..

Lost two loves in my life one the other day after 3 years so I get it.But it is what it is people change women notoriously fall out if love loose attraction and interest for a myriad if reasons also they are terrible at communicating what they want, men aren't mind readers or relationship experts.

You will survive have a drink start some self improvement the better you make your self the more confidence you will gave the better you will fill with or without someone.

Pros.

If You weren't married and didn't have children. Your not going to be financially responsible to her.Your a man five years isn't a big deal you can date 20 year olds till your 50.You learned alot you spent more time in a relationship than people spend on a BA so reflect on that knowledge apply it in the future.

Personally I'm going full MGTOW even told my ex about it will probably spend the next 5 years focusing on my self career education doing what ever I want without spending emotions money or time on women.

And I'm not bitter I have no malice or anger towards women Im just at a point where I don't need the distraction and the drain.A relationship is an investment and at this point the returns arent worth it.

Get out there don't run off looking for another woman,start creating a better you.

black_mirror_cheat · 2017-07-29T03:46:54+00:00

Now's your chance. Get back to being you. There are undoubtedly things (that YOU enjoy) that you have stopped doing over the course of the relationship.

In my story, I gave up a lot of things because of her whining and passive aggressive bullshit. It was only a 3 year relationship, and I just bottled up these losses. Wrote them off. But these were things that I realize now I missed dearly. Things I had done before her. Without her. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can rediscover something that you've lost. It may be, right now, that you don't see such things as fun, but I encourage you to throw yourself into them for a little while. You may remember why you enjoyed them in the first place.

username082016 · 2017-07-28T04:31:41+00:00

Set some goals and fucking crush it! Skip straight to the part where you're seizing the opportunity to change course.

Cheating sucks, in that it hurts and is a deep insult. It fucks with personal confidence,self value and masculinity.

What are you afraid of?

That's where I started. (Rattlesnakes & unprotected heights)

Solution: hiking and backpacking

Luce_Bree · 2017-07-28T16:45:18+00:00

Cut off contact. That includes blocking her from social media. This is a crucial first step.

Accept that it's going to feel like shit for a while; you can no more "walk off" a broken heart than you can a broken leg. Don't wallow in your pain, but don't bury it either, that's not healthy.

I DON'T recommend trying to sleep with a bunch of new girls. You'll only end up hurting yourself AND them, and likely feel even worse about yourself.

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Great male-positive, entry-level book to masculine actualization.

Find a support system. This sub can help, but it's better to find people you can talk to.

Good luck!

Title	Dealing with cheating
Author	Nogals
Upvotes	59
Comments	61
Date	July 27, 2017 10:35 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/6pzlny/dealing_with_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/dealing-with-cheating.569258 https://theredarchive.com/post/569258

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