I'm basically waiting to die

selfism_mike · 2021-07-09T20:08:10+00:00

I am trying to reconnect to the things I did in my youth and try consciously to experience the magic again, mainly by purposely blinding myself, being ignorant, towards that what I have experienced over the years.

A big part of happiness seems ignorance which generates also hope, but once the ignorance is gone, it - together with hope - has to be replaced by willful focus. Really working intensively on something excluding everything else during that period seems to be my only source of true happiness left. Happiness doesn't happen on it's own anymore.

And yes, I am waiting for death as well. I am thinking every day about it. Helps me to relax, not to get wrapped up about how shitty things are and to look forward to finally and forever be able to relax.

SnooDrawings4726 · 2021-07-09T19:55:58+00:00

I hear ya man, I’m 37... seen and done a lot of shit over the years.. but the magic is just gone... don’t get excited for anything anymore, I still laugh and joke, live in the moment and all that, but it’s like, what the hell is the point? It’s the same day Over and over again, just getting older and older... probably just gonna start drinking and doing a lot of drugs lol

BuildItMakeIt · 2021-07-10T02:58:01+00:00

It's not you, it's this world.

Everything has gone to shit.

Life today isn't even near as good as our parents had it in the 60s-80s.

Our freedoms have been eroded, salaries are worthless, and men aren't shown any appreciation or respect.

It's overall a shitty time to be alive.

I too am looking forward to death with optimistic anticipation.

jhooperp · 2021-07-10T10:58:30+00:00

With how blatant shit was in 2020 with political party and the media not even hiding how they rigged and manipulated everyone I can’t believe people are still watching and defending them. Democrats literally helped the riots and changed the rules in order to win while the Republicans didn’t do much to stop it (Jan 6 was the worst day ever yet the riots of 2020 were peaceful).

Meanwhile people still listening to the CDC, W.H.O. and Fauci even though we know most of what they told us all last year was bullshit.

I’m also tired of it all and see no point.

But I won’t end my life. I’ll sit back eat different foods, watch whatever the fuck I want and watch them all go after each other. The feminists hate the trannies because they using their bathroom and playing their game, the white guilt idiots going out of their way to show the world they hate themselves and make a point to act like black people are above them while black people either can’t believe these idiotic white people or just take advantage of them. Hollywood went all woke and their films have been tanking at the purse. Music is all the same shit and with apps to listen for free they ain’t making as much as they used to plus with society at a standstill they didn’t make money off performing.

The media across the board are losing ratings, since last year less people believe them because they know the media isn’t unbiased and isn’t a neutral industry anymore and they aren’t even hiding it.

The USA keeps printing money and China keeps getting stronger.

What can I do?! Nothing. Fk it I’m sitting back and watching.

tilio · 2021-07-09T19:53:39+00:00

you, like most of us, have existential nihilism... watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpxHFNvlUmU

AltoDomino79 · 2021-07-09T21:45:31+00:00

Do you lift weights?

Lifting is the strongest antidepressant

techstural · 2021-07-10T02:52:20+00:00

I can relate. I'm perhaps a bit older, all on my own, and have similar feelings. I think it's pretty common, probably largely due to the world's artificiality/unnaturalness/blandness/soullessness. Just started watching some crap documentary about all these hunters (presumably, ~all men) who mysteriously disappear without a trace. My first thought was they either committed suicide (e.g. "concrete over-shoes") or (hopefully) escaped to a new life/identity.

It's true what many (here) say - that women are largely fucked. It's cool you have a good kid. I lost an entertaining cat buddy last year. I have pretty engaging work, fortunately. Most people are contemptible. Maybe something will happen some day and they will be made to pay (/burn). Let it ride.

ctgjerts · 2021-07-09T20:42:46+00:00

We're the same age. I have a couple milestones that I'm looking to get past. Once that happens I'm planning on an adventure. Havent decided yet what to do first but I'm planning on riding my motorcycle across the US and Canada (when they open), walking a few of the trails, and eventually sailing.

It's time for new challenges in your life. If you have enough banked start looking into different things to do.

jws755 · 2021-07-10T08:18:11+00:00

I understand this perfectly. I have a timeline, and there’s Nowhere near enough time to do all. Current culture as it is, wants us gone. Work/earn/die. I hope it’s sudden.

Solo1961 · 2021-07-09T23:09:29+00:00

Anhedonia comes to mind, but most psychologists list this as a core symptom of depression. I'm not sure I agree, it's subject to interpretation. If you have considered therapy, all they are going to do is prescribe you with antidepressants. Remember, ALL antidepressants are addictive. So, only do it if you must. I hope you can find something that you can elicit enjoyment from and gives you a sense of well-being. Physical fitness is king, but it may not be for you. We care about you, brother. I hope you can figure it out.

Heroic_Pessimist · 2021-07-09T20:59:54+00:00

Look into Ego-death. Understand the Cosmic Joke. It's the one, pretending to be the many.

The last messiah - Zapffe

The conspiracy against the human race - Thomas Ligotti

Studies in pessimism - Schopenhauer

Silence of the Heart - Robert Adam's

Zetsu_2077 · 2021-07-09T21:19:31+00:00

Finding Something to Live and Die For | The Philosophy of Viktor Frankl

It's a short 15 minute video. I think you'll like it.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-07-09T19:54:07+00:00

Stimulate your senses often when everything looks gray is because our senses are burnt out out of doing a rigid routine every day the same stuff so teh senses numb down.
I mean focus on observing the colors and shades of light, different sounds around you touch stuff and feel the texture and so on stimualte the senses liek you where a hippie high on LSD.

ncarolina66 · 2021-07-09T20:48:50+00:00

Listen I'm not trying dump on you especially if you are depressed (please, get some help if you are...you say you are not but maybe you should get a second opinion from a professional....just saying it couldn't hurt is that's the issue)...

Now if you check out NOT to be depressed than I have this to say.......(sorry for being so blunt) but you sound like a fucking woman...."I'm SOOOOOoooooooo.........BORED!", "I'm soooooo tired, I give up", "I don't want to do anything, what's the use?".......Fuck that idiotic female thinking.

You are a MAN, Damn it, start thinking and acting like one........use your brain to create, solve, experiment, build, investigate, research, explore, view/take in, adventure travel, ask questions than solve or find the answer, make stuff, fuck, learn new skills, put those skills to real world use, read philosophy/science/history or just for fun, Go Your Own Way or as the Nike ad said, Just DO IT! (anything YOU want to do....but you have to open your eyes and expand your horizons.....you can't sit in your room watching TV, playing video games, doing the same shit, go to work, come home, eat, watch tv, go to sleep, wake up...every fucking day. LIVE while you're still here on Earth and don't waste any of your precious time, .......for one day you will be dead. (as we all will)

Start reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and maybe that will shake something loose inside of you and start to get you going again....both mind, body and spirit!

Good luck and MGTOW for LIFE!

Bojangles_Hoseman · 2021-07-10T02:41:54+00:00

https://youtu.be/E7RgtMGL7CA

This video helped me. Don't know if it will help you but the part where he says to set unachievable goals so you always have something to strive towards helped me a lot

GoodMan_Gone · 2021-07-10T11:16:39+00:00

OP, I've been through this as well. As you are: middle aged. Some people call it "midlife crisis." But I didn't feel like I was in some crisis. I did have a period in which I couldn't get excited or charged with anything. Just went to work, did the things that needed be done but feeling all empty with it. My best friend asked me during this time: "do you have any "big" aspirations in life yet?" I said: "no. none at all. I'm fine." I interpreted his reaction as being "huh? That's weird." And I thought: is it? No, not at all. Like I said: I'm fine. Not depressed or lonely. I'm just being. And it gave me the biggest feeling of being free I've ever had.

Just walking the path I've been given. No hopes, dreams, fears, anxieties. I just am. Enjoying good moments thoroughly, knowing they will end. Not wasting any energy in bad one, knowing they will end too. And like you, OP: observing the insanity of clown world from the outside. The morons can lock me down over the Chinese flu as much as they want, I'm not giving one toss about it. I'm enjoying my nice house as much as I am enjoying walking through the forest. Do whatever the fuck you want; lock me up, put me on death row. But they'll never be able to take away that freedom.

Gynocentrism_Can_SMD · 2021-07-10T11:34:34+00:00

Sorry, but you sound retarded...

"I'm not looking for advice, I'm fine"

Okay so why are you telling us?

Your literal first words "no, I'm not deprressed"

Translation: I've been brainwashed into thinking real men don't get sad, so instead of feeling sad, I've found a way to just not feel anything at all! See? I'm not sad!"

lmao

talus_slope · 2021-07-10T17:22:14+00:00

Interesting. I'm in a somewhat analogous position. Retired, no wife, no kids, mid-60's. Financially comfortable. Got some hobbies I like.

But I'm seeing my mind and body get worse, despite mental and physical exercise. The clock is ticking. Not depressed either, just not looking forward to much.

I do notice I feel better the more activity I engage in. Sitting around just leads to depression.

LuigiC173 · 2021-07-10T22:31:25+00:00

you live in a medical era where the first person to reach an age the likes of 150 is already alive, you have a lot of life to live still

Mysterious-Dirt-6506 · 2021-07-09T20:06:53+00:00

You're depressed. Get out on your bicycle

justaguy529 · 2021-07-09T20:14:03+00:00

pick up a challenging hobby, something outside your comfort zone.

Goaliej · 2021-07-09T20:15:31+00:00

"Still, everything is so... pointless from this point on."

Research and pursue things that won't be pointless to you.

"I've done most things that I really wanted, and honestly I have no desire for novelty."

Research and do more things that you want.

Disciple_Of_Cheesus · 2021-07-09T22:02:48+00:00

What is it that you want?

alienmuseum · 2021-07-10T02:13:44+00:00

Just find things that you enjoy doing and forget about "getting" older or whatever. Whether you sit there thinking about you getting older and or not, time still marching on. No matter what you do, it's still ticking forward. Might as well make the most of it. Find whatever enjoyment you can out of it or don't (totally up to you).

Paladin2903 · 2021-07-10T12:45:44+00:00

I hear you brother. I’ve been feeling a lot like Kevin Spacey’s character in “American Beauty” lately. Total 40% (not quite mid) life crisis happening over here, minus the wife (thank God) and kid. Kinda wish I had a kid, but things being the way they are nowadays, I know that’s just like willingly jumping in a fire pit, dealing with these crazy bitches.

anonyree · 2021-07-10T18:23:26+00:00

Go do really hard shit. Mountain biking, rock climbing, mountaineering etc.

selfreliancedan · 2021-07-10T20:34:51+00:00

Is it bad that I feel the exact same way as you (though without any kids) at the age of just 23?

novax4me2 · 2021-07-11T00:44:52+00:00

The reason you feel this way is because there is nothing left to explore.

Dasitmane505 · 2021-07-14T20:13:21+00:00

Still so much to live for bud, keep searching

9trogenta · 2021-07-10T04:22:59+00:00

Join the army.

Title	I'm basically waiting to die
Author	i_am_your_hemeroid
Upvotes	68
Comments	61
Date	July 9, 2021 7:47 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/oh35gt/im_basically_waiting_to_die/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/im-basically-waiting-to-die.789480 https://theredarchive.com/post/789480

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