here are mine: Women are like hurricanes. When they come they are wet and wild. But when they leave your house and car are gone.

Have you ever wondered why, during a crisis, they let the women and children go first? It's so the men can have some peace and quiet while they think about what to do.

Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. (A) The theory is that Beer contains female hormones (hops contain Estrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. (B) To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period. (C) It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects - yes, 100% of all these men: 1) Argued over nothing. 2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong. 3) Gained weight. 4) Talked excessively without making sense. 5) Became overly emotional. 6) Couldn't drive. 7) Failed to think rationally, and 8) Had to sit down while urinating. No further testing was considered necessary.

Why is a mans mind dirtier than a womens? A woman changes hers more often.

Life is like a box of chocolates, a women completely destroys one in minutes.