How Should I Handle This Issue?

12E21C6 · 2021-05-02T13:50:31+00:00

He's just misinformed. Normally you'd want to have a reliable partner, but women don't want to play that role anymore

Failedalife · 2021-05-02T06:46:09+00:00

Tell them that you like a slow life ( k selection girl), but these are near unique rare as female through their vegg at anything and your not into that. ( 3 base is same thing)

Your not interested in a whore either ( pay to se picture)

Your into a mentality Stable female, who is not a feminist, who understands that your the price, not her

And most of all, with a divorce rate over 70( look it up) you feel it's a game rigged against you and your not into paying for her luxuries after a potentially break up - show them the Canadian case where a man had to pay alamony to her, no kids, no co living, no nothing but a relationship

Edit and a highly religious decent bible observant woman

yamahantx700 · 2021-05-02T16:08:55+00:00

Relax, you're 26.

If you don't want kids, just say so. You don't owe your parents grandparent status.

daniellederek · 2021-05-02T12:31:31+00:00

Option A tell them statistically the partner you choose now at 26 is only a 20% chance at a lifelong partnership and 80% shot at financial ruination.

Option B introduce them to your same-sex platonic life partner.

Frosty-Gate-8094 · 2021-05-02T07:35:57+00:00

There is nothing called as unconditional love. All love is conditional.

Do your parents give you a guarantee that your (future) wife will be there when you grow old? - there is 50% chance that she will divorce you and you will be alone anyways.

Do your parents guarantee that she will love you unconditionally if you love her that way?

Do they guarantee that she will have kids? -- she can legally refuse to do so, even after marriage.

Do they guarantee that your wife will not cheat, cuck you or beat you up?--- the law offers no protection to man if any of this happens.

Do your parents agree to pay the lawyers fees and compensate you for your assets loss or alimony or child support, in event of divorce?

If any of the answer to above question is NO, then ask them why you should listen to them and get married?

Marriage fails cost-benefit analysis. The risks are 50%, and it puts all your future earnings, assets and even children into a gamble with a success equivalent to a coin toss.

Make your own analysis.

Their time was different, today is different.. Their success of marriage has no bearings on your marriage... Choose wisely.. And be firm on your decision...

After all, they wont come to help you when your wife/lover puts false allegations against you and put you behind bars..

CharmanterPanter · 2021-05-02T17:41:40+00:00

Do your own thing. If happen to find a partner. That doesnt mean you need to have kids. Like others are saying. You don't own your parents anything (at least not the rest of your life)

CrayonViking · 2021-05-27T21:44:18+00:00

Seriously?! You aren't a teenager, dude. You're a grown man. Live your own life. You you don't HAVE to listen to everything your parents say.

Shrug, say "Nah" or "Meh, if it happens, it happens. If not, cool too." and move on to next topic.

What's up w so many redditors being overly attached to their parents even after adulthood?!

Dude when I was your age, I had a wife, a kid, car payments, and house payments. Trying to please my parents would have been the last fucking thing on my mind. lolololol

CuriousIncel2 · 2021-05-02T15:15:08+00:00

Ask them if they'll foot the bill incase of divorce.

Suka87 · 2021-05-02T17:03:55+00:00

Let him read the rational male by Rolo Tomassi. Next year he'll send you a letter accepting your wishes and thanking you for the knowlage.

Solo_and_Simple · 2021-05-02T15:41:25+00:00

Your dad sounds like a nice fellow. A lot of guys don't have dads, so that's the first thing I'd say -- be grateful for a dad that cares and expresses love for you. That's pretty cool.

Having said, that, though, I don't like that paragraph. He is pressuring you to live your life based on what will make them happy. That's not love. It's pressuring or guilting you into doing something that you would rather not do. "Manipulation" is kind of a harsh sounding word, but that's what this is. He's not respecting what you want. He is putting his own needs (and your mother's) above yours. He is telling you to make major life decisions based on what will make them happy.

He's not even being subtle about it. He says it explicitly. "It is every parent's dream [for you to get married]." "Give us comfort in the coming years [by getting married]." That's the good thing about getting these messages from men -- men aren't as good at this manipulative stuff as women are. They usually say it directly, so it's out in the open. If the message came from your mom, I'm guessing it would be much more subtle, and she'd talk more about how she just wants the best for you, etc.

By the way, I'm picking up a little undercurrent of concern in your father that you might not be self-supporting. It sounds like part of the reason he wants you to find a life partner is so she can take care of you, and he doesn't have to. I could be wrong, that's just my suspicion. If so, do your work to achieve financial independence from your parents. That should take some of the pressure off.

Anyhow, my advice would not be to fight back or react to the pressure. The main thing with pressure/manipulation is to spot it, to see it for what it is, and to not buy into it, internally (e.g., don't feel guilty for not going along with their wishes, recognize it's your life to live as you see fit). You don't necessarily have to say anything at all. The main thing is to see the way they are trying to pressure you, and not to let it hook you.

I wouldn't get too upset about it. I don't think your dad is a bad guy. Parents do this kind of thing all the time. So do wives, bosses, girlfriends, advertisers, etc. It's common. You can use it as a learning opportunity for how to spot your parent's attempts at manipulation and sidestepping them.

The main thing with manipulation is just not to go along with it. I don't think you have to necessarily "say" anything in return. If you start to explain yourself ("But dad, I don't want to, and here's why..."), then you're in a defensive posture, and you're inviting him to continue to pressure you. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just to say nothing. Now, if he does continue to pressure you, and it starts to really get on your nerves, then it might be time to express your point of view. Or if he really presses you for a response, then I suppose it's time to tell him what you think. But for now, I'd let it go and thank him for the very nice birthday message (meaning the rest of it).

No-Connection-987 · 2021-05-02T13:16:18+00:00

Here's the deal (in biden's voice): All the happiness and sorrow that a future partner brings, you alone will bear them all, not your parents. Do you want to bear all that just for a brief moment of joy for your parents?

But remember, everyone has to bear the consequence (both good and bad) of their own action no matter they want it or not, whether someone else want to bear it for them or not. No one can escape the good and the bad of their actions. That's the one true rule of nature.

mistralol · 2021-05-02T10:57:34+00:00

Do the same as what the women do. Explain that you need to get your life in order and focus on your career for a few years before your thinking of settling down and having kids and things like that.

That will keep you sorted for the next 4-5 years or so.

Its probably going to be one of the situaitons you deal with by kicking the can down the road until its suddenly "too late"

Mokhuda · 2021-05-02T09:00:32+00:00

Explain to them why you don't want to get into relationship. Explain to them how the world has changed how the system has turned women of our generation into thots, with privileges and the rise of narcissism that makes humans toxic.

BrandinoJam24 · 2021-05-03T00:27:13+00:00

Say you want grandkids without saying you want grandkids lmao

BlackmesaTBX · 2021-05-02T21:46:18+00:00

Just say thanks for the warm wishes dad...

And then proceed to do whatever fuck you will. Your parents have no idea what marriage, cohabitation, divorce, narcissism, etc. have turned into in the western world.

You know they’re really going to take comfort in? When you buy your huge ass mansion with the parents suite that you bought with all the money you smartly invested over the years. You might have many “partners” - but you’re not going to be a statistic as one of the 80% of relationships failing within 10 years. You’re happy and they should be happy for you.

Crafty-Tackle · 2021-05-03T00:23:59+00:00

Just bs them that "I am looking, but I have not found Miss Right quite yet." Just repeat this whenever they bring it up. If they harp on it, you can let loose the rumor that you can't get it up. Or, if you are super-brave, you can imply that you are gay. Do whatever to get them to shut up and leave you alone. Do not answer this paragraph with any sort of answer. If they bring it up in conversation, "I am looking!"

PeaceBeUponUs2020 · 2021-05-03T01:00:57+00:00

Hahahahahaha tell your dad you love him. Also, tell him you live your own life. Both ideas are worthy.

0x3fff0000 · 2021-05-04T04:45:27+00:00

Don't let anyone push you to get married or have kids, but also don't let redditors convince you that a solitary life forever is a good option either.

Keep your mind open, and if you find someone you like, go for it.

[deleted] · 2021-05-02T09:22:26+00:00

[deleted]

greyhawk92 · 2021-05-02T15:08:57+00:00

You were brought into the world by the choices of other people. Ideally, they fulfilled their roles in keeping you alive and preparing you for the world as best they could. Sounds like their part has been played, so the ball is in your court now.

They're done. They have no more control. They can advise all they want, but you'll need to make your own decisions. You'll hear a lifetime of advice... theirs are just two of the thousands of well-meaning recommendations you'll be bombarded with over the next 60+ years, God willing.

Such advice only has merit if you deem it valuable. The choice is yours.

MeisterMGTOW · 2021-05-02T11:22:54+00:00

I have very bad news for you. Your parents do NOT have your best interest at heart.

If this is real, they are trying to pressure you to ruin your life. And they are disguising it as something friendly.

I know it is very hard to come to terms with this, but your parents aren’t nice people. They are abusing their bond with you to manipulate you to fuck up your entire life, so they can have grandchildren. That’s downright evil.

I’d stay away from them.

Germantaffer · 2021-05-02T07:07:34+00:00

Wow, I am father of two sons. My love is definitely not unconditionally, because if they behave badly, I don't appreciate this. If they kill the other brother I can't love him anymore. I think I will drop them, if they are going the drug way and I communicate this. Otherwise I will die easily for them, if I had to protect them, with no regrets, and if have to make a decision, if they get lucky or I, I will take them. I have the experience, that anything that is priceless is nothing worth in the minds of humans. It is in most cases good only for the givers. I dislike the concept of uncondionally love, and I think you feel uneasy now. As far as I see, love partnership is not a good decision in this days. You can lose freedom, self- esteem and integrity, and you get what exactly? A woman wrote on reddit support, but I never get this in a meaningful way, so I laughed cynically loud. Some words, some sad faces, that's all. No helpful advices, no practical help. And if there is a problem, I have to solve it, I'm really tired of this. Because I am a man. I hope I don't self victimize myself now, but this is my reality. For me it's indeed not a good way to isolate yourself, but if you can dispense of sex that would be wonderful. Sex is working exactly like a hard drug, and the effects are the same. Monks lives 4-5 years than the average guy, the heath impact is like dispensing of alcohol and nicotin together. It's a well hidden truth. So for me are the porno sites are drug dealer, and marriage is... well... 😂. Don't try to red pill your father, it's OK if you lie to him, say you don't find anyone, or you feel asexual or do. They have to drop their expectations, for your sake!

Title	How Should I Handle This Issue?
Author	vjap
Upvotes	1
Comments	69
Date	May 2, 2021 6:28 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW2
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW2/comments/n30ngg/how_should_i_handle_this_issue/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW2/how-should-i-handle-this-issue.800242 https://theredarchive.com/post/800242

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