Giving up power during pregnancy?

bismarck8888 · 2015-05-25T16:15:23+00:00

Pregnancy was the trap that got me stuck in beta hell for 3+ years.

I bought into having to make it all about her during that time and it was all downhill from there.

When the kid came, I am pretty sure my wife suffered from postpartum and there was no satisfying her. And I tried to help her by giving into her demands, and as we all know, that only made the problem worse.

With the second kids, I was a little more assertive, but the same issues appeared again and the relationship between us suffered because of it.

In hindsight, I should have established boundaries, refused to jump at her calls to action, passed her shit tests (this was hard for me at the time because she would frame it as being a "good father" and was complete bullshit).

Of course you need to add some beta to the mix, just don't let it be at the detriment to your "self." I wish I had realized these things before children but making up for it now.

RedCML · 2015-05-25T19:14:18+00:00

If you give up power you won't get it back ever in the same proportion.

Pregnancy is like marriage, indoctrinated as an entitlement for women. Remember that it is a biological function and women have been doing it since the beginning of life without the entitlements they receive now.

If she tries to make you a servant, encourage her to be stronger. Don't treat her any differently. Say, "You're just pregnant, not crippled. Women have been doing this for over 100,000 years."

My only concession would be if she has a complication and to be quite nice during 7.5 months plus. They do get quite heavy and awkward at that point.

Instead of serving, you could be nice in original, unrequested ways. Random foot rubs for swollen feet, buy a stash of chocolate, etc.

dandar4600 · 2015-05-25T12:46:22+00:00

No reason to backslide. I give mine a bit more of a pass on fucking frequency because she is tired more and seems to need 9 hours of sleep instead of the usual 8, but I still watch out for shit tests and for the most part pass them. Also if she's tired I'm getting her used to just giving me a day blowjob. Meaning not waiting till night time with it. She is getting so much better at them from what they used to be... but I'm digressing here. I think dreading her is easier with her being pregnant. Just get used to her emotional outbursts cause their frequency will go up.

Countpudyoola · 2015-05-25T12:54:06+00:00

Hindsight 20/20 for me as my kids now in grade school... But I think the key for a successful survival of pregnancy is to be more on the lookout for more comfort tests sprinkled into the mix.

Maybe fail 1 out of every other or so compliance test to look good to the rest of the family. But still react appropriate to shit tests.

Still go out with your friends. Don't drop your hobbies.

Opt for softer dreads unless she really goes off the rails. Carry through a few months after birth and then after factoring in dad time...return to pre preggers form.

redpill-hardmode · 2015-05-25T19:32:22+00:00

Let me tell you a little story.

I became a beta bitch exactly during our first pregnancy. Sex was once every two days before that (trying to get preggo). After our son was born it was as if I didn't exist. Sex dropped to once per week or two. I FOUGHT and FOUGHT back from that. Basically telling my wife that I was fucking miserable.

Lifting, dressing better, taking control, massive dread and up to once every other day. Then bam, pregnant again. She kept warning me sex was going to be off limits at some point. Up to the day before delivery we were still going at it once every other day.

After delivery she gave me the "not for 6 weeks" speech the fucking idiot drs. gave her. It took twelve days before she was begging for just the tip.

Don't give up control. Don't surrender. Don't change. Its ok to help her and be nice. Its not ok to be walked on. Maintain frame, she's going to shit test you like never before.

When we came home after the 6 week speech I went total beta from an alpha frame. Sounds impossible? I took care of every need the baby had. I cooked and cleaned and the house never looked better. At the same time I stopped pursuing her (no sex for 6 weeks!) and withdrew all affection. It was a show of force that I could manage perfectly fine without her.

Within 4 days she was blowing me in the shower every morning.

RBuddDwyer · 2015-05-26T00:17:17+00:00

I am so sick of the pregnancy bullshit. Women have been carrying multiple pregnancies successfully to term for millennia now with no modern medicine, pain killers, FMLA, and other assorted feminine imperative bullshit. Bearing children is what she was biologically designed to do. She has very little active role in it, actually. The whole thing is pre programmed from the start. She is just along for the ride. Check back in with me when women have actively built civilization and explored other planets, then we'll talk.

alpha_n3rd · 2015-05-25T12:16:50+00:00

You do have to up the beta a bit. Doesn't mean you should turn down the alpha.

If you want to keep as much power as possible, BE ON THE MOTHERFUCKER. Read 20 books about having and raising children, and let her comment on YOUR plan. Be the leader.

Be prepared for a relationship reset around 6 mos postpartum anyway.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-05-25T15:11:03+00:00

This is one of the most powerful and ubiquitous Beta Traps the feminine imperative has created in the last 40 years.

Women feign helplessness- and it is all your fault!- during pregnancy in order to seize control of the relationship. They cut back sex, often to nothing for months at a time- even though a good and healthy injection of semen is exactly what she needs. They stop acting like a wife completely- no BJ's- even though swallowing the semen of her babies father acts like an allergy shot and significantly reduces nausea. They become bossy and impossible to live with- using the baby as an excuse works wonders for them.

Yet in times past women worked in the fields until they went into labor. Then they hobbled off to the side, laid in the grass and pushed until the afterbirth plopped out.

DO NOT LET THEM. Women NEED even MORE Alpha during pregnanancy. Add plenty of Beta, but don't you dare cut back on the Alpha or you will suffer the fires of sexual denial later. AWALT- if you let them and our sick, sick, society encourages this as another method for women to defeat their husbands by using their little hostage for power.

UEMcGill · 2015-05-25T12:03:18+00:00

Pregnancy doesn't change shit. You think in caveman days women got to take a break because of a fuck trophy? Do you think slave women got a pass? Did my grandmother take a break when she had each of her 4 kids? Fuck no.

Women are built with an amazing capacity. Now should you have her in the fields working? No, but don't give her a pussy pass because of it. Expect her to be a little tired, definitely emotional, but don't let her get lazy.

whinemoreplease · 2015-05-25T16:47:29+00:00

Don't do it.

Seems like an easy enough answer.

You help her out if it's worth your time and effort to do so. Don't let her bully you (which it is in effect) into being her bitch that she 1) doesn't respect and 2) doesn't appreciate.

If my wife is being unreasonable (according to my own view), she just gets an "are you kidding me" look. That's enough. Sometimes I'm convinced to change my mind and so she gets her way too. But frame, have it.

InwardLooking · 2015-05-25T21:35:59+00:00

Bro, part of owning your stuff is looking inward and making decisions. Sometimes you will feel it is right to serve and take care of your pregnant wife. Don't do it because you're a scared punk, but do it if/when/because you feel that it is the correct thing to do on the inside. The important thing here is to continue to follow your own internal compass, and sometimes that will guide you to compassion and servitude.

thegr8b8m8 · 2015-05-25T10:55:57+00:00

No your still the boss pregnant or not. However if I can remember when my wife was pregnant her shit testing sub sided quite a bit. After all this 9 months are months when she really needs a man around to help with all of the shit that goes along with a baby. I think there is a happy balance you have to naturally get to. But don't go full on beta mode. Is this your first child?

rediscover03 · 2015-05-25T17:00:03+00:00

2 kids here and wife 8 mo pregnant. It's been tough since I unplugged 3 mo ago. Rocky, talks of couples therapy, used every trick in book (AWALT). Overall add some beta (mindfully and not knee jerk responses), like give her some foot massages and be more attentive to shit she can't do on her own when big. Also I made my way into the shower right after her many times and had her use her hands on me, since normal sex has been very uncomfortable for her - lots of excuses there and reasons to put it off. Don't stop hitting on her though. Reward good behavior. She still should abide by her mission to please you, even though she's incubating. And be careful, if you push too hard you'll be deemed an insensitive asshole. Shrug it off and go about your day and your goals.

Title	Giving up power during pregnancy?
Author	ChaddeusThunderloins
Upvotes	13
Comments	31
Date	May 25, 2015 7:22 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/376gs9/giving_up_power_during_pregnancy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/giving-up-power-during-pregnancy.201848 https://theredarchive.com/post/201848

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