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Othello314
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[–]RCMasculinity 7 points8 points9 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Actually physically beat you and bashed a door down? If this isn't pure trolling, call the police and press charges immediately. Then dump the loser.
[–]Othello314[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not trolling. I mean, more manhandled. A slap and three punches then sort of throwing around until I hid in the bathroom (door). I don't want to be rash and I feel like leaving is just more hypergamy bullshit, which isn't me at all. I don't want anyone different I just want the best him. TRP has really been helping with his confidence and the new job especially. It just seems to be Sundays that he tanks emotionally and become moody and inconsolable. He is literally my best friend (we were friends before we even began dating) and I can see him just "turn off" so to speak during these days. I just want what is best for him.
I typically accept apologies but I'm still upset for pretty much as long as I'm physically in pain (which is stupid, but it's primitive and hard to overcome) so I tend to bring it up inadvertently, which obviously makes me seem like I'm trying to make him "pay for it" all over again. I just want to make sure that accepting the text apology and making some bacon is best for him or if there is another (better) way that helps promote growth. Like I said, I don't really care about me at this point, I'm not with him to get stuff out of him. I just love him and want what is best for his own personal growth.
[–]AlphaTransition 6 points7 points8 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A slap and three punches then sort of throwing around until I hid in the bathroom (door).
Leave. No excuses. You can't undo this.
[–]logger1234 5 points6 points7 points 9 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
"he beat the shit out of me"
what? Seriously? This is not a troll?
I'd say leave tonight. Leave a note. He has to handle his anger. You'll be somewhere else (do not say where, go to family) until he has seen a counsellor (initial visit), given you the name, scheduled a visit for both of you, and fixed the door. You need some reasons to feel safe in your own home.
When he texts you the time/place of the follow up visit you'll meet him at the counselor's office.
Update: In the mean time, to borrow a phrase, you give too many fucks.
You have nothing going on besides your marragie. You don't have any or enough friends. Hobbies. (Okay, okay, tell me i'm wrong, but you are asking for advice on the internet in a forum for men about getting more sex from their wives. You are asking strangers who are not signed up for this.)
So start becoming a better woman. Start exercising. Get a hobby. Go out to a bar, or church, or community center. Take up pottery or art - but along the way, get some friends. Start to see what life would be like without him. Along the way, find things to talk about besides his problems or the honey-do list.
This advice is not designed to demean you or some bizarre submissive "become better for him" line. Instead, it is designed to help you realize that life without him is possible, and could even be pleasant. You're becoming a better person for yourself, which is the path out of victimhood. Blue pill men have, to some extent, chosen to be a victim, and the red pill path is the path out.
You came to MRP for help; that is the best I can do. I am serious.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for the update. Clearly I have way too many fucks to give. I definitely have cut my own friends out for crossing him (his friends/brothers have adopted me as the mascot but obviously I wouldn't hang out with them on my own).
I didn't realize that I'd slowly lost all my hobbies as well. Good insight. He just seems to take over everything when he walks into a room and everything stops. I feel like an idiot saying this considering context but I drop my shit on a dime for him and come running, but maybe I shouldn't. I do have my own hobbies (I write for a few political rags during nap time) and I lavish my kids with attention -- all of which are under 7.
Perhaps setting some firmer boundaries are in order. As bad as it sounds, this is not the worst that we've been through and he more than makes up for it in absurd streaks of incredible brilliance. I don't think it's healthy (for him, I mean) that I tolerate it, but I'd like to find a place where I have my own space where his moods don't completely tank my plans for a day.
Thanks again.
[–]SorcererKing 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
Troll much?
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
No, actually.
[–]SorcererKing 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
OK. Test time. What is your occupation? What is your husband's occupation? How many children do you have?
[–][deleted] 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]SorcererKing 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Looks like the husband's account, and as recently as a year ago he gave all those details.
Look, dummy, the reason everyone is telling you to get rid of him is not hypergamy, it's because he hit you. Unless you hit him first this is unacceptable. Nothing RP about this. If he has never ever hit you before, and if you provoked him intentionally, then maybe he gets another chance, but that's a BIG maybe. The best advice here is get help from trusted friends or family. You stick around an abuser and this can only get worse until it ends in tragedy.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I appreciate the work you put in de-trollifying me and your response makes sense. Thank you.
[–]RuleZeroDAD 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
According to post history, he is a father of four and wife lost education job.
Say "Hi" to the "Billy Goats Gruff" for me.
I don't get exactly what you mean by that but I'll assume it means you think this somehow invalidates what I said. This is the account logged in on this computer. It's probably one of his old accounts. I don't comment or interact on Reddit a lot and didn't see the need to make my own account.
[–]SampsonBrass 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or Iago maybe? Men in rage strike those that wish them best. Coincidence?
[–]freshona 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
You're fucked up, and no matter what anyone says, you'll stick with him until he breaks you completely, or you die.
Well, provided this isn't your troll account that you dig up once a year. Either way, you fucked up.
Also on the subject of you being fucked up, this whole post is validation seeking.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Validation of what? My origin family is dead, my friends dumped me when I got married and this is really fucking complicated. People say "women are disloyal" and I'm really struggling to understand how I can be both a woman (and therefore disloyal) and also a fuck up for "sticking with him until I die."
If this were just about me, it would be easy, but there are 6 other souls in play here. I'd rather not make a life-altering decision without considering the effects my actions will have on others.
But this thread has given good insight. I appreciate the help.
[–]freshona 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whether or not you're a troll, you need professional help.
[–]BluepillProfessor 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Obviously, he beat the shit out of me and stormed out.
Do you expect the men of MRP to not White Knight this? Obviously with physical abuse, there is one and only one solution. Get the fuck out. Leave. Go to a battered women's shelter. Get to a safe place.
[–]redmountainpill 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I guess your only option is to invite your best friend over and when he gets back have a threeway while you cook him bacon. Shouldn't have touched his phone
[–]weakandsensitive 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
post nudes. then i think we'll be in a better position to decide.
[–]Othello314[S] 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Kindly go fuck yourself. :)
[–]RuleZeroDAD 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I agree, Gold Standard Verification is in order.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Unless this forum is full of back-door bandits, you should be able to handle a legitimate question from a woman.
And again, the nude-receiving position is currently filled. See previous response.
[–]weakandsensitive -2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
you should be able to handle a legitimate question from a woman.
hahahahhahaha. entitled as fuck.
i doubt you're a woman. i bet you have a dick.
good troll
A huge dick. The world's biggest dick. Make that two dicks. Two giant huge super-dicks.
Are we done now?
[–]wowowowowow12 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
WTF is this?
[–]FireTempered 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
This is some messed up stuff girl.
Your questions are retarded. Go to RPW for help.
[–]Othello314[S] -2 points-1 points0 points 9 years ago* (18 children) | Copy Link
I already am. All I'm getting is "Leave him." I could go to TwoXChromosomes for that shit. I need real, rational advice -- if it's leave then give me good TRP reasons. What the hell is this subreddit for if not to help TRP marriages?!
[–]DanG3 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
You don't have a TRP marriage or LTR - yet. He fucked up. He pays the consequences. He fixes it. He gets his shit together HIMSELF. If he doesn't, you leave. Period.
[–]FireTempered 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Second this..
I don't understand then I guess. Can you explain?
[–]FireTempered 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He fucked up. He pays the consequences. He fixes it. He gets his shit together HIMSELF. If he doesn't, you leave. Period.
I am agreeing with DanG3 about what you need to do, and not do.
lol. I got that, but it's been a long night. Can someone spell both of those things out like I'm a retard (because tonight that seems pretty accurate)?
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
"He pays the consequences. He fixes it. He gets his shit together HIMSELF. If he doesn't, you leave."
I'm with you, I just don't get what you mean. Should I hold firm to the standard of fixing what you break? Because I know acknowledging/accepting the apology doesn't do that.
[–]DanG3 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
I wouldn't sweat the apology about the breaking ... right now. IMO, he needs to get lead back to the essentials of RP - he "owns it."
Also, he DID NOT handle your 'phone thing' very well. His handling is not really your problem, but your 'need' is. Enter RPW.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I'm in RPW and they all just say to leave and not look back.
The conversation we were having was actually about him and what I could do to help. (He's fine during the week but by Sunday gets moody, irrational and inconsolable. We were talking about what could be the root of a cyclical behavior and what I could do or change to help him deal with whatever it is) I wasn't trying to be an attention-whore, but just frustrated that he wasn't taking the conversation seriously when it was about how I could him.
[–]DanG3 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You are not his mother. He has to learn this, you have to learn this. You (literally) can not fix for him or help him fix. He must seek professional help (dubious value) or fix it himself by reading and conversing here.
In the meantime, just continue as normal? Try to avoid him when he's tantrum-y? Or just endure things as is and kindly direct him here if it comes up?
[–]alphabeta49 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Dunno if this will help... I used to get really moody on Sundays because I hated going back to my job on Mondays. (I still do, but I'm working on changing my career. Light at the end of the tunnel and all that, my moods are much better.) Again, no idea if his cycle and mine are the same. There's a similarity though.
But do this the RP way of course. If this is the issue, be supportive and not his mother or fixer.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Actually he just started a new career (after years of being home). He loves it and generally comes home really happy. I actually think the opposite is true and the conversation was mostly about what I could change to make home a happier place for him and I couldn't get a straight answer. Maybe you are right in that I'm trying too hard.. I am a nurturer by nature and I can't help myself when he seems out of sorts.
[–]alphabeta49 1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
what I could change to make home a happier place for him
Here's your path. Fix this, and you'll have done what you can. The rest is for him to put on his big boy pants and for you to butt out and let him.
[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Thank you.
[–]alphabeta491 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I accept nudes as payment.
[–]Othello3141 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Enjoy your evening.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-5rBrV_DOmXQ/TeNGIR7cPcI/AAAAAAAAA04/zBf1EduEieY/s1600/fat_girl_normal.jpg
[–]alphabeta492 points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
I'll... be in my room. Does anyone know where the lotion and kleenex are?
[–]Marriedwithkidz 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You aren't giving anybody reason, he beat you! You need to get a divorce now!
[–]DanG3 -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
LOL
In a very sweet and submissive tone text him, "Honey, I asked your bro's on TRP what I should do. They said something about reminding you to, 'read the side bar' and that you should fix the door. They also said that I should report you to the cops. They've given me 'a lot to think about.' I hope to hear from you soon. In the meantime, I'll be reading up on what the woman have to say on some RP sub called MRP. I hope they will be able to help me with my problem of being such an AW - "attention whore," - isn't that what it's called? Or maybe I'm just BSC, whatever that means."
... I get it. You think I'm being ridiculous. Believe me, if I wanted to be an attention whore, I'd talk to people in my life (Or XXChromosomes, they eat shit like this for breakfast). I'm on Reddit to protect him and his reputation but it seems like people don't really give a shit or think I'm trolling. Thanks for taking the time to comment, I guess? If you think I should just get the fuck over it, that would have been more helpful to say..
[–]DanG3 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
See my comment below. This is NOT for you to fix - or for you to protect him.
So do I just ignore that apology? (My acceptance is usually taken as "come home, we're good." Not responding so far means he usually goes to his parents'.) Ignoring the apology seems monumentally petty and selfish, but accepting it is basically the opposite of what you (and a lot of people) are saying to do.
[–]DanG3 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
He needs to stop the tantrums. He is FAR from being anything RP - "going to his parents!"
[–]bogeyd6[M] [score hidden] 9 years ago stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
Hope everyone got their replies in, but this kind of post in no way belongs to askmrp or marriedredpill.
[–]stonepimpletilists 0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This thread was far more productive than any set of people I asked tonight (and the absurd spectrum of groupthink was baffling)
On that note, how the fuck do people fuck this up?
I'm still convinced this is a troll, who was begging for BP confirmation. If not, that line is fucking sad.
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[–]RCMasculinity 7 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Othello314[S] -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AlphaTransition 6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]freshona 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Othello314[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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