Marriage = Obligation

theultmatecad · 2015-04-17T16:01:10+00:00

Women relentlessly try and gain the relationships frame. They lose attraction when they succeed. All of this is completely unconscious.

The man you were when you initially attracted her is the man she will respect and fuck on command. I know I changed dramatically from that person as we he marriage progressed and kids and bills arrived.

Its bluepill conditioning to think these changes are appropriate. The whole happy wife happy life bullshit.

Many men here turned the LTR around by specifically changing themselves and themselves alone.

whinemoreplease · 2015-04-17T15:43:50+00:00

Simple answer. Marriage != Obligation.

You're free to leave at any time. Just like no one forces you to go through life, no one can force you through marriage. You just might not like the consequences.

Simpler answer. Marriage = complacency = lack of effort = lack of perceived value = lack of passion. If you're not passionate, you're not gonna want to fuck. A new car is always shinier. An old car can look just as sexy with the right care.

abdada · 2015-04-17T15:35:59+00:00

Women are treasure hunters, men are treasure buriers.

During the courtship process, the woman's treasure goal is to find BB with hints of AF. The "unicorn" for women.

Marriage is legal force to create financial responsibilities. I am not against marriage, but I am against MOST marriages.

In order to secure what each gender wants, the genders will usually apply an overdose of what the other wants. The man will spend money (BB) and the woman will provide exciting sex.

But once the marriage happens, the woman is under no legal obligation to provide sex. The man, though, has a legal force (divorce court) that tells him to be BB or she will divorce him and get the money anyway.

redpillhardmode · 2015-04-17T22:23:20+00:00

I haven't seen anyone touch on this.

The woman's hamster equates marriage to locked down. In other words the dread is much lower after marriage. You can't just pack up and find another chick without a lot of jumping through hoops. Women know this.

That's why a lot of guys (myself included) only made progress when we began to say fuck the consequences, if this ain't working I'm out!

Sepean · 2015-04-17T16:03:54+00:00

Women shit test men to see if they're fit enough. Men take their words at face value and turn beta. Pussy dries up.

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-04-17T15:58:50+00:00

Been reading RP for about a year now

But have you been implementing your new knowledge and taking action? Without action, words are just words...

Reading TRP/MRP for 5 years won't transfer to more sex or a sense of increased life satisfaction unless you are implementing it into your life daily.

But I digress...

To answer your question, look at all of the 1 year+ dead bedrooms we see on this sub. Nobody is obligated to give anyone anything that they don't earn. If you think your wife is obligated to just give you sex, then you are obligated to maintain your masculine position in the relationship.

If you maintain her in your frame, take care of yourself mentally, physically, and professionally only then will she want to fuck the shit out of you. You could technically say she's obligated to as she's your wife. But I can see people interpreting that as, "I don't have to do anything and she is still obligated to fill her role".

Counseling searches for the placement of blame. MRP provides solutions to problems and works, only if you put it into action.

Act like a Man + Lift (look good naked) = healthy sex life

AZTRP · 2015-04-17T16:40:44+00:00

It turns to an IV drop because both parties get comfortable. The men relax and turn more beta and the women don't have as much interest in their 'man'. The man will usually keep providing resources and comfort to the woman regardless of how much she puts out. It can turn into a vicious cycle as you mentioned you can't negotiate (or demand) desire.

This is covered well in MMSLP and some in NMMNG.

The solution is plastered all over TRP (lift, self improvement, enhance your alpha traits, etc). It all boils down to the man continuously being the man his wife wants to fuck.

Implementing the MAP has tremendous benefit. You improve, your SMV increases and one of two things will eventually happen: 1) She'll take notice, start fucking you more, and likely improve herself as well or 2) She doesn't take notice, so you give notice and move on with your life without her but in a much better position to have better relationships and happiness than she.

fauxscot · 2015-04-18T01:11:11+00:00

I think it's simpler.... commitment and passion are competing motivations. (Can you want what you have? ) The drive to commit is passion (unrelenting desire to own.) Passion's PURPOSE is to create commitment. Once committed, passion is no longer necessary, as when one exits the train at one's desired stop. You've arrived.

The passionate partner is deprived of what they crave... just enough to maximize craving but not enough to torpedo commitment.

The commitment partner releases just enough passion to preserve the commitment at minimum effort. There's really no motivation to provide anything beyond the minimum required.

Machiavellian and manipulative, but that's what it LOOKS like from my studies.

The entire RP thing is about creating a risk to commitment... re-igniting passion. The best players apparently know how to keep the thing balanced on a razor's edge, at just the point where the uncertainty is unbearable. Like a roller coaster ride, the thrill is in the risk of injury, not the actual danger.

It's sad, really. I personally think love is the thing that pushes folks to do what they don't necessarily want to do... and that's what love really is... an act, not a feeling.

Loving mates project their mate's needs, empathize and act appropriately. They go beyond what their own needs are. (Most passionate partners know how to do this... they throttle their passion, in the interest of their mate's absence of it. The commitment partner doesn't do it. They avoid extending the effort to meet a basic need of their partner... a textbook definition of what is NOT love.)

Breeding pairs do not necessarily love. If you are part of a breeding pair, it's all economics. Mercenary. The vast majority of people I know are in breeding pair relationships, kids or not, by the time they have been married a few years.

That's what all this crap is about. What kind of relationship are you in? What kind of character does your mate have? Is love evident? If not, is that what you want? A cashier/customer marriage?

Totally up to you. No one cares but you. Free will means you are free to change things to move toward what you want. Adulthood is making good decisions in your own interest, especially if you are being exploited.

Simple, just not that easy. Good luck.

Stonesaint · 2015-04-18T10:43:50+00:00

I think the general approach of men towards marriage is wrong.

We can state to women in this manner - Marriage is simply social sanction on a piece of paper and the perks associated with it.

"Does that mean that I am not the most holiest snowflake in your life? Do you not love meeeeeee? Don't you have any fweeelings for your wife?"

"Oh no cupcake. I do have feelings for the person who regularly fills my belly and empties my balls. Someone who cares enough for my interests to regularly do this for me, deserves being called "my wife". So the question is - will you continuously be "my wife" or is it seasonal?"

That's all, Your Honor

ZeeyardSA · 2015-04-20T06:56:37+00:00

I would say it depends on the woman and I may get shot down but the sort of sex you give her as well. From early on in my marriage(married 10 years and we are 32) I learnt how to get my wife off. I usually give her a few orgasms before anything and lots of foreplay. As such Sex is never an issue for us and Its a regular occurrence with her initiating as much as I do.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-04-17T17:05:40+00:00

theories as to WHY sex turns to an IV drip after marriage

Because the husband tolerates it and doesn't stand up to her creating a death spiral. By not standing up to her and passing the shit test she loses even more attraction which ultimately causes him to become beaten down which lowers his attraction further which makes him even more beaten down. Right down the rabbit hole.

Yes, the marriage obligation is anti-seductive. Yes, familiarity breeds contempt and all that but the REAL reason is that we have hidden the solution to a low sex marriage from men like a State secret for almost 50 years.

TLDR: If you married and your attitude is fuck me or fuck you, problem solved.

Master2u · 2015-04-17T17:25:38+00:00

Most women do not have the same sex drive as men. After they have had their children sex tends to take a back seat for them. It is important that you communicate to your wife that it did not take a back seat for you. A couple with a healthy loving relationship should generally be able to work out these kinds of problems.

Title	Marriage = Obligation
Author	Knoxvillyn
Upvotes	3
Comments	32
Date	April 17, 2015 3:31 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/32xkw5/marriage_obligation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/marriage-obligation.202119 https://theredarchive.com/post/202119

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