My first step

RPAlternate42 · 2015-09-18T00:47:07+00:00

This piece of advice I'm going to lay down here is mostly for new guys, but applies to everyone:

When she texts something like this and you think there is a response here, but I don't know what it is...

Simply as yourself this: does this require an answer?

The answer is almost always, "no."

Only one kind of statement requires an answer and that statement is a question.

In this example, she didn't ask you anything... She told you something. Ultimately, it's just a woman talking about her feelings on something. She said your awesome... That's her frame and it is also yours. She also said that you only need to impress her. This is t true, but she thinks it is; she thinks you are doing this for her.

Does it need a response? Not over text. If this was in person I'd pull her close, make sure my crotch was against her and say, "I'm going to press a few more things on you.... Maybe you can press some things on me too" <pulling her chest towards you.> then kiss, ass-slap, et.c.

Remember: "does this need a response?" Is the question to ask yourself.

Sepean · 2015-09-18T06:50:17+00:00

You are still living very much in her frame. I don't think you're ready for handling shit tests with banter yet.

You need to internalize the idea that it is ok to not respond to everything, it is ok to not adress every feeling or concern she expresses. The way you do this is by just shutting up. Just shut up and see that the world doesn't stop.

Amused mastery goes great with shutting up: http://therationalmale.com/2012/09/14/amused-mastery/ . Basically just smirk and say very little or nothing at all.

Just focus on shutting up plus amused mastery when you're interacting with her. Afterwards when you're on her own, think about what she said and how you could have passed the shit test with for example agree and amplify. Refer to this short guide: http://illimitablemen.com/2014/12/14/the-shit-test-encyclopedia/

Me:I was making my workout schedule so I can be awesome.

This is really bad. One thing is that this was a part of making an excuse over not texting. But on another level, this is trying to impress people with what you're going to do. If you're Arnold Schwarzenegger or Elon Musk, people will take you seriously when you describe your plans to do something cool. The rest of us, no one gives a fuck. No one cares about us making workout schedules or signing up to the gym or even going there. There's a fuckton of people who do that and talk about that and still look like shit even years after.

The only thing people care about are results. Go do it, lift right and eat right so you drop 4lbs of fat per month or gain 2lbs of muscle per month, and then in 6 months they'll see it. Do the hard work, be consistent in your effort and show people. Don't tell them, no one cares one iota about how cool you envision your future self to be.

Lift and lead.

mrpCamper · 2015-09-17T21:02:34+00:00

Her:You already are awesome. The only person you need to impress is me and you a perfect

I'm not sure this is a shit test per se but rather just her mate guarding.
Translation. "Your fat beta ass belongs to me and as long as you do what I say, you're going to be fine.... well for as long as I want you in the picture."

During the first few week STFU is always, ALWAYS a perfectly valid response to anything. So, ignoring her comment is fine this week. You are going to get some other suggestions on what to text back. Your goal is to be able to use them soon. Ask yourself and answer yourself, what are you going to do to get to a position where you can use the replies given to you. Just don't go in guns a blazin' with how you'll impress her with your thundercock quite yet.

RedDeadWolverine · 2015-09-17T21:39:00+00:00

So you read my post... It's good that you were able to spot a shit test using text. But you failed it and prompted it too. Your words with her say, "I'm needy, I want your approval" this is why most RPs say only text for logistics.

It's good you didn't vomit all that guilt stuff at her.

The part where you told her about making a workout schedule is dumb. Have you ever been impressed by someone who said they were planning to do something? Where do you usually wait to see that they've achieved something? Don't tell your wife your plans. It's a sign of low value you can tell her about what you did already. And if you have nothing to tell her about then that's the problem.

When I wrote my piece I put up earlier I said when she asks why are you going to the gym you tell her it's because you're awesome and that's what awesome people do.

The part about what I said earlier that you need to internalize the most is to stop seeking her approval, take ownership of yourself and you'll be a lot happier.

Look you're overseas and I'm sure texting is probably one of the only ways you can talk to her but don't say I love you first. Make your texts really short and factual. Something like "babe I'm headed out be good."

If she says okay I love you then I guess say I love you too. But if she acts like a bitch. Go silent.

Good effort. You're trying to spot this stuff. I recommend reading no more Mr Nice Guy read it twice a week read it until you memorize it. I hope things get better for you. And that you can come to see your own value and not have it depend on her reaction to you.

*TLDR: if she's bitchy always go silent. Til the next day even. Only give her validation when she's showing respect or being sexy.

fasterpussycatdie · 2015-09-18T10:38:59+00:00

So its been about a week since I've decided to fight my betaness.

Looking at your post history, I'm going to agree with /u/I_trip_over_hurdles You might want to think about a therapist. If you are seriously not trolling this sub, which I'm still not sure about. You really need to work on some issues.

awyden · 2015-09-17T20:47:21+00:00

why did you text her "I love you" in the first place?

bogeyd6 · 2015-09-17T20:54:53+00:00

What is your weight lifting program like? Do you use the on post trainers or are you more of a do it yourself type of guy?

Protip, dont reply to that last text.

RPcoyote · 2015-09-18T02:40:30+00:00

Yes, ignore, smile to yourself, don't take her seriously. You have more important things to do. Never qualify yourself for her. Tease her and make fun of her childish nature. You're on a path dude. She's welcome to join you and match your greatness. You don't have to work for it for her. You do it for yourself and then when she's in your orbit you'll marvel at her charm and get entertained by her. Be the king dude be the king.

ford_contour · 2015-09-18T03:46:20+00:00

Your only mistake here is second guessing your own radio silence. As you grow, you'll trust your future and past selves to reassure her, and won't need to respond to every text with a carefully crafted masterpiece, or send extra texts throughout the day beyond when you have a reason (like she initiates).

The underlying principles are:

Value your own time.
Value her.

Be true to both of those, in that order. You might think there's a conflict there, or that it lessens her, but there isn't and it doesn't. :)

whinemoreplease · 2015-09-18T04:45:41+00:00

At this point everything inside me was telling me to tell her i was sorry and that i loved her and cared about her. I wanted to tell her everything i was doing at work who i talked to what i said. It was this sicking feeling in my stomach and the only way to get rid of it was to just spill my pathetic mangina and feelings to her....but i didnt. I'm not sure but i think it paid of because here is how i responded.

Disgusting pussy.

Me:I was making my workout schedule so I can be awesome.

How is qualifying yourself to her any better? Just as pathetic thinking that you need to explain yourself.

Read more on the concept of 'qualifying' here - http://www.theattractionforums.com/general-discussion/47476-guide-qualification.html.

fatalbinoninja · 2015-09-18T18:28:07+00:00

Just going to echo a few others here on stfu. I'm nearly three months in and that has been the most useful tool you have when getting started. Just keep your damn mouth shut about this and if she pries for more information just say "I want to be the best man possible" and leave it at that.

Focus on NMMNG and WISIFG, those two will lay the foundation for you. Then read the book of pook. It is a wealth of great information on living and helps you understand just how FUN it is to be a man. Because at the end of the day we bear this awesome burden of leadership but we also get to have fun creating a great life for ourselves as well.

But right now you need to read and internalize everything. It might take a few weeks or a few months but it will happen with daily practice. Once you've accepted and started to understand everything then going to agree & amplify or amused mastery will begin to be second nature to you.

But for now, stfu.

bmastermind · 2015-09-18T05:40:43+00:00

You apparently have a long way to go. See yourself as the prize and don't just throw 'I love you' out as if it's part of a daily routine. This is boring.

Title	My first step
Author	Drknative
Upvotes	0
Comments	55
Date	September 17, 2015 8:42 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3lcjj1/my_first_step/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/my-first-step.201011 https://theredarchive.com/post/201011

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