Need some tips (various)

Sepean · 2015-04-17T07:34:37+00:00

Me: "You got that wrong, more like from out of your space"

Agree and amplify. Don't be confrontational. I'm not especially witty, and I literally just try to agree and amplify. "I'm from the stars" is fine. It's not funny or cocky, but I'm likely to mess up if I try it. And it doesn't have to be funny. Just agree and amplify, it shows you're not phased the slightest by her jab at you and that is the main point. Cocky and funny is bonus points; great if you can get them, but don't screw it up by going for them.

theultmatecad · 2015-04-17T10:36:53+00:00

No matter what you say the point is to be unaffected by her nagging.

This morning I was told I didn't rinse a plate well enough and now it needed to be scrubbed.

"Then scrub away missy"

jacktenofhearts · 2015-04-17T11:05:49+00:00

Agree/amplify is very much based on "American" humor. Our comedians are the heroes. The gunslinger with the witty retort. The underdog who gets the girl at the end. Every comedy movie with a "loser" main character ends up as the hero at the end.

In the UK, the comedian is an actual loser. Because life makes us all losers, but comedy is just those who have enough self-awareness to admit it. Watch "The Office US" vs "The Office UK" for a great example. All UK comedians are basically guys that tell self-deprecating (albeit hilarious) jokes. The self-awareness to be so self-deprecating is what makes them so "witty." Another good example is the Daily Show vs John Oliver's new show. While the Daily Show is tinged in optimism, John Oliver's show is basically "oh by the way, thought you might want to know that corporations and politicians are fucking us in the ass again."

In Germany, the comedian is the clown. Very much based on physical comedy and absurdity. Tell someone in Germany you're a comedian, and they will literally think you are a clown. That you wear white makeup and a fuzzy red nose and squeeze into tiny card. Those goddamn punctual and meticulous Germans don't have time for your clever take on life told via jokes. If you're not smashing a pie in someone's face, GTFO.

(source for all of the above: some random post I read on Reddit months ago and can't seem to find anymore - made sense to me though)

You mentioned being Eastern European and living in the UK, so I say all this because "agree/amplify" may not be your best option with your wife anyway. If your wife's humor is more German-oriented, you may want to grab a hat and call it an "dunce cap" and say "you're right. Put the dunce cap on me. Put the dunce cap on the green Martian."

Think about the kind of humor you like, and the kind of humor she would respond to, and cultivate your response around that.

stutteringstanlee · 2015-04-17T07:58:32+00:00

Personally I would just give a dismissive look, shake my head like it was a stupid comment and carry on with what you intended to do. No need to try to one up, it could end badly like in the OP or make her feel like she "got" you since you had to reply.

EightyTimes · 2015-04-17T12:40:51+00:00

"Since when does she wear nappies during the day, it's like you fell from Mars"

"So THAT'S why my ass hurts". is the first thing that pops into my head. It's not even that good but it gets the job done. It's about rolling with the punches.

The agreeing shows that you weren't affected by what she said and you're not taking it personally. The amplification lets you do so in an entertaining way.

The core purpose isn't to be particularly witty, but instead to playfully show you're amused by the insult.

Countpudyoola · 2015-04-17T13:42:11+00:00

One thing I'll say, is if you have difficulty with it coming naturally (or even with practice) you may need to go a different route.

Sometimes it doesn't even have to be the funniest thing out of your head so long as you sell it.

Me: "You got that wrong, more like from out of your space"

I could see said in an early 90's sitcom followed by a canned laugh track or "oOOOOooOOooo". So if shit like that flies out of your mouth and you REALIZE it came off like that you may have been able to pull a hail Mary by following with licking your finger an making a sizzling noise while touching her arm and saying "BURRRRRNN" to be goofy.

Still , everybody has their levels of ability to do a.m. but I think the PRINCIPLE is to actually be amused and see the situation in an amused way. If you can't or can't sell it , don't go that route.

Some tips to see it as funny might be to see it as a comedy show in your head that you're just observing. Visualize. When she's talking to you , imagine everything she's saying is to someone else and you're just inhabiting the body as an audience member. Will help keep you relaxed and less prone to react too strongly. Also as stupid as it sounds you can help sometimes if YOU think it's funny and provide your own laugh track. Then "whatever pops in your head" will be from a more relaxed and funny place and instead of what you said above something non-defensive funny may have taken it's place.

Or the strong silent type may be more of your angle.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-04-17T15:05:21+00:00

You dropped some powerful dread that both you and your wife missed,

You said: "I have fallen out of YOUR space."

Now you have a go-to for A&A. I would go with the rocket theme in the future. Respond to obnoxious texts with replies of links to exploding rockets and so on. Don't forget the always ready: "Roger Challenger, go at throttle up."

Good job internalizing this central MRP/TRP fact.

jerseyone · 2015-04-17T15:31:54+00:00

Yea baby they droped me on earth to impregnate all the women

UEMcGill · 2015-04-17T15:35:16+00:00

Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses. If you are excellent at being straight faced then go with that. Push that ability in it's own boundaries.

So if the situation were presented again:

"Since when does she wear nappies during the day, it's like you fell from Mars"

Just look her straight in the eyes, raise an eyebrow and say "Mars?" and stare for 20 seconds straight into her eyes. People can not stand being stared at. I'd call it amused mastery.

Another option with you for A&A is to just repeat what she said completely monotone. "It's like I'm from mars.... (long pause, eyebrow raise) huh..."

One of the funniest guys I knew was quiet, and stoic. But when he did say something it was two words and delivered monotone, but fucking hilarious. It worked because it was him. Improve your best, not your worst.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-04-17T17:16:16+00:00

Part of the problem could be you becoming anxious/emotional etc when responding to your wife.

It is like when I call on students in class suddenly. Some coolly respond, some gather their wits and take some deep breaths and respond appropriately, while many others do something like: "Umm, umm. oh, ah...well, I, you know, I don't know."

Meditate or pray, and read the Meditations of Marcus Aralias. Use meditation/relaxation techniques to gather yourself before you respond to your wife.

TLDR: A & A is a lot easier if you are calm and collected.

ZeeyardSA · 2015-04-20T07:05:20+00:00

Keeping calm is vital, Its something that I did not have before, My initail reaction some time ago would bbe losing my shit and asking her if she felt that was an appropriate answer to me asking a simple question and then giving her crazy dread. However My reaction to that would be more along the lines of me expressing how that answer made me feel.....

Dot807 · 2015-04-17T12:33:33+00:00

Her: "Since when does she wear nappies during the day, it's like you fell from Mars" Me: "That's right babe, I'm an astronaut, and tonight I'll be circling Uranus."

Title	Need some tips (various)
Author	t-dog1982
Upvotes	4
Comments	19
Date	April 17, 2015 7:03 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/32wdv5/need_some_tips_various/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/need-some-tips-various.202121 https://theredarchive.com/post/202121

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