Owning your Romantic Nature

Gentlemen,

Whether you are aware of it or not, we are the more romantic of the sexes. Words like honor, loyalty, oaths, and respect mean something different and deeper than it does to women. The ‘sweet’ things you do, don’t get rid of them because you’re alpha as fuck now fuck that, removing your romantic side is just another form of repressing your masculinity. Own your romantic nature as a Man, just do so without any regard for your lady. You don’t do these romantic things or think these romantic thoughts for her; you do them for yourself because that’s who you are. Your ability to create and destroy and feel so passionately gives you the perspective to find the value in the smaller, meaningful aspects of life. Women don’t have that, they never will, and that’s OK.

This post was inspired from my yardwork yesterday. I was cutting down some trees and at some point I thought of how long they’d been there. I had this deep thought that brought me down the rabbit hole to where I was cutting down years and years of growth. I told myself I would use all of the wood either in the fire pit I built Saturday or I would build something with my son. No matter what, I wouldn’t waste the wood nor would I give it away as it grew on my property and therefore I should use it. I took a step back and wondered why in the fuck didn’t I just cut it down and have someone take it away, and it was then I realized I had romanticized the shit out of the action. So be it, it’s who I am and how I think, whatever.

At this point in my life I do what I want because I want to do it. My romantic gestures are for me, while they may be directed to my wife, they are done for how they make me feel. I always capitalize the letters when I text or write ‘I Love You’ to my wife. I’ll leave surprises or build little gifts for my wife and daughter. I’ll wear something nice or plan out a date with several hidden meanings in each place or meal or whatever.

I used to do these things with the assumption that she was noticing it and that because she noticed my sweet, romantic gestures that she’d want to fuck my brains out. I was signing this fat covert contract like John Hancock because I was that confident I would be getting some. As I’m sure you already are aware, that was not the case. Not only did she not recognize (or at least acknowledge if she did recognize) but she would follow up with shit test after shit test. I didn’t realize these ‘romantic gestures’ when done with unspoken expectations made me look weak.

Our wives do not want to be treated like our mothers. They are not here to say, Wow, that’s beautiful or good job honey, that is so sweet. They don’t give a fuck, it comes down to how do you make her feel. Women are quite adept at seeing through our bullshit. They’ll know if there’s a covert contract or some expectation that comes from a present or action. When they recognize you are doing something for their approval or sex later, they’ll scoff at it and make it nothing more than another weaksauce action by their dude. But, if you do this shit with the air of a Man who takes these actions and gives these gifts for the sake of ‘self-satisfaction’ it takes on a whole new meaning.

As I stated, I’ve stopped giving a shit what my wife thinks and feels when it comes to the gifts, actions, or choices I make. I do them for me. If I carve our name into a tree with a heart around it, I did it for me. That action made me feel good. Sometimes I’ll do shit without telling her, because it isn’t about her, it’s about you. When you generate your own happiness without expecting or needing anything from anyone else, your wife will reap the benefits as that’s what she NEEDS from her Man.

I have this wizard looking candle holder I’ve named Radagast the Brown and I’ll light a candle and read by its light. I don’t do this because it’s fucking hipster or cost efficient with electricity, I do it because I find joy in work. I’m not sure ‘work’ is the most appropriate word, but I find something about reading by candlelight to be very relaxing as well as Manly. I also have a kindle that has thousands of books on it and I read from that too. But, there’s something old school cool about reading by a candle. If nothing else it has a Gandalf-esque feel to it.

Do you think I give a fuck what my wife thinks of this action? It doesn’t matter whether she thinks it’s awesome or weird, I like it so I do it. The same goes for why I capitalize the letters and why I always kiss my wife and kids before I leave. It’s for me.

As Men we are disposable, but in this fact we can see why we feel so hard. We feel powerful emotions and need to find comfort in that. Look at the movie 300, Leonidas goes down in a blaze of arrows while he romanticizes about his wife. Or if you want a real life scenario, look at Veterans who come home after deployments. They’ll talk about how they fought with every fiber of their being for their brothers and how many would give their life for the Man who died next to them. How many conversations have you had where a woman said (and meant) she would die for someone? By owning our romantic sides we are able to own another aspect of our Masculinity that society has tried to take from us.