Reading a recent post on here about a guy who cheated after a year of no sex with his wife (can't work out how to link to it!) I was struck by what seems like a contradiction between some of the responses and my understanding of what to do given my own similar circumstances. Several posters commented on how the OP had managed to allow it to go 12 months without confronting his wife and making it clear that a sexless marriage would not be tolerated. This is relevant to me as I'm in a similar situation - in many ways it's more than 12 months. Yes I know that's fucking pathetic, no need to tell me that, but it's dire circumstances like this that have led me here so it is what it is. Having read MMSLP and several posts here I'm invested in the idea that building dread via self improvement is the only way to start to turn things around - if she responds then it may work out, if she doesn't then I'll be in a better place to find someone who appreciates, respects and wants to fuck me. That seems at odds with the idea that one should confront a wife and make it clear that a sexless marriage will not be tolerated. That is the ultimate point, the final plays of dread game but it was my understanding you don't talk about it, you don't try and rationalize it, you crack on with improving yourself, building confidence and things will work out either with or without the current wife. It is tempting for me to try and sit my wife down and let her know that I'm not going another 12 months in a sexless relationship but I was under the impression that talking about it is pointless until I've improved myself via lifting, dressing better, reading more etc. Have I got that right?