Slow Start - Long Path

TrainingTheBrain · 2015-07-21T13:55:32+00:00

It will probably take me a year+ to get down to where I want to be.

Physically, yes; but that is no excuse for you not to act like the Man you want to be right now.

My path forward is to continue losing weight and lift. Up my SMV

TRP/MRP is about taking your life back as a Masculine Male, not just getting more sex from your wife. The increased sex, respect, and enjoyment of life are byproducts of becoming what you were born to become, a Man.

In a situation as bad as yours, I would be totally upfront. Take your actions through lifting weights and reading more (I have been listening to A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy on audiobook and can't recommend it enough. Take charge of your nutrition. Openly tell her that you're done living like this and you want you and her to cook some healthy meals together. Enjoy your wife, don't resent her, it's your fault you became fat and weak not hers, so don't project your anger from your self to her. Have fun in the kitchen, get her onboard the fitness train, and let her know that you're done being a weaksauce husband. Then don't discuss it again.

Usually I recommend you just doing these things without informing her, but you're so far out of shape and sexless that I think you need to get the air cleared and then you start improving without ever looking back.

Again, don't be disgusted by your wife. She's still with you after you blew up and she was forced to take the wheel. She embodies the woman you love, she's not the embodiment of your shit mistakes.

babyicanchange · 2015-07-21T13:54:36+00:00

/r/keto/

You can drop 50 pounds in 6 months, easy.

marxistbacon · 2015-07-21T16:33:26+00:00

Yeah, it's a little bit of a whine-fest. But you are owning your own shit here so that's great - admitting your part in getting out of shape. But don't focus 100% on the weight and fitness. You have to get your mind right, too - being assertive, decisive, and clear in your communications. Internalizing all the power in the new you. This is just as important as the body, and you can start working on this today as well. WISNIFG is a great book for getting your mind in order.

Someone posted a comment in another thread that sounds like it sums up your marriage too. Paraphrasing "1. your wife isn't into you sexually, but 2. she's still into the marriage enough to have occasional sex with you to keep the relationship going". Number one you can work on with diet, fitness, and attitude. Number two means there's still a starting point to repair things.

As for initiating... initiate if you want to, don't if you don't. Sometimes it's really just that simple. If in doubt, err on the side of initiating but don't get butthurt if she doesn't take your lead all the time.

mrpCamper · 2015-07-21T14:47:41+00:00

This could have been my post 3 months ago bro.

but it's like she doesn't care at all. She doesn't. None of them do. AWALT. Women don't love men the way men love women. You're going to discover a lot about AWALT and what turns her on in the coming months. She wants to be ravaged by the more assertive, stronger, lighter version of you. Be that man.

It's not going to be easy and it's not going to happen for some time but here is where to find the template on how to do it. good luck.

This is your new mission. Keep reading more. I'm three months in and am on Zen, and the art of motorcycle maintenance. My kindle library looks frightening. Oh, and WISNIFG is fucking awesome.

Some advice from someone just slightly ahead of you on this journey who seems to have come from a similar place... A month from now when you've lost 10 pounds and are feeling great about yourself, don't look for validation from her. She doesn't fucking care that you're now 5'10" 225. Trust me on this. You'll regret it. You may initially start to experience some sexual anxiety. Work through it. You're going to be a fucking mess for a few weeks/months but work through it, maintain frame at all costs and you'll start to see a better version of you emerging.

dandar4600 · 2015-07-21T16:03:08+00:00

I'm 5'9, 39 years old. You can drop 2 pounds per week like clockwork until you get to about 14-15% body fat. Then it gets harder but at that point you will be attractive enough for other women to notice you and by proxy your wife as well (preselection.) I started mid February at 190, I got down to 159 on May 21st. That's roughly 2 pounds per week. Since then I lost 10 pounds or roughly a pound per week and I'm at 14.8% body fat at 149 pounds. Yeah skin and bones but I do have some muscle definition already, just trying to get rid of last vestiges of fat from my stomach. Once I hit 10% (roughly couple more months or by the end of summer) I'll start bulking.

The more weight you have the easier it is to lose a lot in the beginning. Just count your calories, drink allot of water (not soda or juices or coffee with cream and sugar), eat protein heavy food such as greek yogurt, eggs, turkey, chicken, pork loin, steak, couple it with lots of veggies and you will see the weight melt right off. My fitness pal is one of the best apps to help you reach your goal weight. At 2 pounds per week, you could safely reach 170 pounds in 32 weeks. Add a few weeks for Thanksgiving and Christmas and your will be beach ready right in time for next summer.

Regarding your wife, she will come around once you remove covert contracts, start taking care of your shit and outstanding stuff around the house and she sees progress with your weight. You can't blame her for losing attraction to your beta self. Improve and see her come around. If not, you can always next her. As always that call is up to you.

Redneck001 · 2015-07-21T16:56:01+00:00

Like the others said, weight loss is easy. Just count your calories.

I know it is unreasonable to expect my wife to be attracted to me the way I am now

While you're getting yourself to the shape you want to be, work on your game. Read a few books on game, seduction, PUA. Learn to be a charming alpha and try the different techniques on your wife and random women you encounter. Develop an attitude of irrational self-confidence. And just be awesome.

fatalbinoninja · 2015-07-21T17:05:35+00:00

I don't have much more to add to what everyone else is saying. Though I would recommend taking some of the lessons from MMSL to heart and applying them to your marriage. Your wife desires a strong and confident man. Make her feel safe and secure and she'll most likely start becoming more open and willing in the sex department.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-07-22T01:22:56+00:00

Your feelings are normal. Except you don't realize yet that you are really mad at yourself, not her. YOU let it happen and feel free to kick yourself a few times. You are the one who became unattractive and you are the only one who can turn it around.

Right now you do not yet have your wife's attention. She does not yet have the dread. She is bored and probably hates her life more than you. The answer? MORE DREAD!

Most important? GO LIFT HARD!! When you have a noticeable difference in your physical appearance you WILL get her attention and everything will start to change.

When OTHER women start to notice she will also.

I really think guys like you in the anger stager (at themselves) need to spend time on the Red Pill and marinate in some of those anger posts. It can put things in perspective.

You also need to work on OI. Not initiating sex may be a strategy for a short period in Monk Mode but it is a poor strategy if you don't even have you wife's attention yet.

However, you can't start initiating until you build your frame enough so you can blow it off when rejected. Being able to maintain your cool in the face of rejection is one of the most attractive things for women. Just don't ask me why.

Further, not initiating sounds like a covert contract. You want to see if you can hold out longer than her and I assure that if you don't have her attention yet, you will lose that battle every time. Women are like camels in the desert.

yallareweird · 2015-07-21T14:56:17+00:00

How does she treat you, outside of the bedroom?

the_Zambony · 2015-07-21T14:56:28+00:00

It will probably take me a year+ to get down to where I want to be.

I dropped 50lbs in 6 months. Have fluctuated very little over the last few years, so it is doable without compromising your health.

Drastic diet change = no more pop, no more vending machine crap, cut carbs to 60 grams total carbs for each meal, 3 meals a day with one 15 gram carb snack between each meal, no eating past dinner, water only ~ 32 to 64 oz per day.

I called it the cave man diet - leaves and grass, nuts and berries, and meat.

Just cutting the soda and junk food, I dropped 10 lbs almost immediately.

Then started walking - 2 miles per day. Core exercises and stretching - every day, Biking - started slow with several 5 mile bikes, then 10 miles, then 15 miles, then 25 miles. The last 5 miles I really push. Added weight training to beef up - every other day.

Results; flatter stomach, less grunting when sitting down standing up, better posture, better control and harder dick when fucking. Plus, the SO notices and maybe she doesn't say outright, but you can see her up her game to keep you around.

Good luck.

stonepimpletilists · 2015-07-21T16:32:09+00:00

Be angry, at every pound you've gained, and thought it wasn't self sabotage.

Can't be mad at her, shes just reacting to the environment you've put her into. It's a dehumanizing analogy, but you can't be mad at a dog for biting you when you hit him. He was a dog, what did you think he would do?

Act like the man you want to be, she will resist like fuck shit tests galore, lack of respect... the works. you'll get angry when she shuts you down for sex, and you'll go to the gym and work it out. every bag of chips will piss you off. those doritos are why I haven't had a blowjob in a year.. fuck doritos.

Eventually you will see things taper off. she'll have a main event or two.. thats when you know... you know you've reached improvement, and you can chose your life at this point. Is she worth keeping? Is she not? You are ready to finally decide this shit

Guarantee you'll be fucking superman on that day. A year from now, 16 months, however long.

Until then. watch Gattaca, Shawshank Redemption or some other movie like that. Watch a guy for 90 minutes get shit on and work his ass off, just for that one moment where it's all turned around, and his hard work paid off.

Title	Slow Start - Long Path
Author	walkingdeadbed
Upvotes	3
Comments	22
Date	July 21, 2015 1:40 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3e2jgj/slow_start_long_path/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/slow-start-long-path.201403 https://theredarchive.com/post/201403

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