So after a pretty good first week and a half, what seems to be a Chernobyl style shit test is underway. A little context first.

My wife works from home. We used to have a nanny, but she flaked on us, so we enrolled our daughter in a pre-school. My wife, not wanting her to be away all day, only enrolled in half day. I'd go into work extra early, she'd drop our daughter off and pick her up, then I'd be back by 4 so my wife could finish up her work for the day while I took care of the daughter.

This schedule was tough on me, I hated waking up that early, and it was starting to make me look like a slacker being the first one out of the office every day. When our daughter started showing signs of stopping her nap, I took it as an opportunity to say she should be enrolled in all day pre-school. Wife initially agreed, then changed her mind the following Monday when it was time to sign her up. I told her I'm okay with that decision, but I'm only coming home early under extenuating circumstances.

Yesterday she gives me the silent treatment when I come home at my old normal time. I pretty much don't react. Do my projects around the house, whistle happily a lot, play with my daughter.

Today I come home to a melting down wife and daughter. I send my wife up to her room so she can collect herself while I calm our daughter down. Took a grand total of a minute, but that's beside the point. And she continues the silent treatment.

Once we put our daughter down tonight, I made a blunder and I went to give my wife a comforting hug. At that point she accused me of not caring, etc and so forth, "You know how hard it is for me to work and watch her". I lost a little frame and professed that I cared, but recovered as best I could told her firmly that if she chooses to keep her in half day, she has to take responsibility for the repercussions of that decision. She gave a snippy fine and I left and started my whistling.

Advice from here out? Just match her radio silence until she breaks it?

Update: While I wanted to follow the wait it out method, and conceptually know that it would have been the better solution, my impatience got the better of me, and I forced the issue with a discussion along the lines of /u/jacktenofhearts. Side note: I am working on strategic patience as part of my self improvement plan, it's proving harder than the things I thought would be hardest like getting my bad eating habits under control.

I offered up a compromise to come home if my schedule allowed when she called me in advance to let me know she is planning on scheduling a call and that I would leave my Tuesdays and Thursday afternoon's open except for extenuating circumstances. She angrily went off about how I changed the agreement, etc and so forth. So I just sat back with a half smile and let her spin her wheels. Talked about how the new me is just plain selfish. Said she see's through my transparent attempts to become "the man of the house". She started comparing me to the husbands of other friends and neighbors, and at first I didn't register just what level of disrespect that was so I let it go. But as I thought about it I found my blood began boiling so I put a hard stop on that, told her it was the height of disrespect and if she wanted to continue the conversation it ends now.

Eventually she accepted my compromise terms with a snippy, "It's the best I can get." Shortly after she starts crying as she's going upstairs and tries one more ham fisted attempted at emotional manipulation, "I'm going to be a bad mother and enroll her in all day pre-school, and I'm going to resent you for it forever." I smile, tell her it is the right decision, it makes her a good mother, not a bad one, completely ignore the resentment comment and tell her she's sexy. She goes and takes a nap since I suspect her sleeping in the guest bedroom the night before was a sleepless night for her, I take my daughter out to a little festival going on nearby.

I come back to a new woman, she's cooking one of my favorite meals, wearing a tight fitting outfit that shows off her shape very nicely. We eat dinner, put the daughter to bed, and then it's anger sex time. I went way beyond what I thought was the limit verbally and physically, and she just ate it up. Even when she was complaining I was hurting her, it was in a desperate for more voice.

Thank you redpill for helping me understand my wife's psyche.