I need help

ThosPuddleOfDoom · 2021-08-22T03:00:39+00:00

First the lawyer then the police otherwise they will 100% take her side no matter the situation. If there is bruising or damage from the event try and document it via photos just to have some evidence of it.

For emotional support there are a series of groups you can go to depending on the country you are living in. I don't have any at hand but there are others who can help.

mynameispuddleofmudd · 2021-08-22T04:17:39+00:00

If you decide to stay there, consider getting a couple of nanny cams or something that records audio/video and uploads the footage to the cloud on an account she doesn't have access to.

Keep a brief written record of date, time, and description of: arguments; text conversations that include threats; outright threats; abuse (physical/sexual/verbal/emotional/psychological/economic); destruction of property or prized possessions; if you have children, other dependents, or pets, take note if she insults you in front of them to make the kids take her side, if she threatens to do anything to make you lose custody in a divorce, if she neglects/abuses the kids and/or pets; if she threatens to make false accusations against you.

Tell a trusted, safe friend about what's going on if you can, preferably a friend of yours who is not also one of her friends.

Make a safety plan, you can find these online. Include what steps you will take if you're in imminent danger and need to escape. Go through your house and consider anything she might use against you if she assaults you again. Many items in a home can be used as weapons, not just kitchen knives or whatever, so be careful of that. Be aware of everything around you if she follows you around the house while intimidating you, including tall furniture she could push onto you in a rage. Don't let her corner you if possible. Always have your phone with you and charged. Get a second phone if necessary.

If she has access to your phone or other devices, take care to delete anything you search for online about lawyers or how to deal with domestic violence. No need to leave a trail she can monitor.

mynameispuddleofmudd · 2021-08-22T04:23:23+00:00

And change the beneficiary of any life insurance policy you have if she's the beneficiary.

79malibu350 · 2021-08-22T02:18:13+00:00

Dude I’ve never been there, don’t see myself ever going through that but I think I would leave immediately and go somewhere you can prove. She shalacks you, says you walloped her, guess who’s guilty in the court of public opinion immediately. Leave, now

Intelligent_Can_6411 · 2021-08-22T01:57:02+00:00

Don't go to the police if you are in the US. They will take her side of the story and jail you. If you are living with mature children, let them know what happened and get support for it. Space yourself from her and prevent her from getting near you. If you have to hide in a locked room, then do it. Don't sleep with her nearby, or she might assault you in your sleep. Many wives have cut off all or some of their husband's dicks and thrown them into garbage disposals with no legal trouble for them. Your safety comes first, and you might as well sign her divorce papers.

Taco_flavored_tacos · 2021-08-22T05:57:07+00:00

Thank you everyone. I appreciate your help. It’s a shame I had to turn to Reddit to get help. I don’t know where else to go.

I took a picture of the bleeding and a video of her admitting to it.

Shit sucks. Half of me says to cut and run, the other half says to stay

hairynostrils · 2021-08-22T06:36:20+00:00

She is trying to get you to react physically so she can get a restraining order and get you criminalized. This is a common tactic by women who want to get the divorce started on her terms. Document and stop communicating with her immediately. Don’t be in the same room with her if possible. Talk to a lawyer tomorrow. Sorry this happening to you.

Karmic_Insanity · 2021-08-22T05:09:41+00:00

Document and record everything

whosthatcreep · 2021-08-22T10:43:38+00:00

Get a nanny cam and catch her abusing you on video so she can't ruin your life on court

fkuser250k · 2021-08-22T03:39:28+00:00

This is actually upsetting. Like forget your situation( although you have my complete sympathies), what protections to men have in the USA. I’m in college and I fear a sexual harassment/assault/rape allegation, because there really isn’t any repercussions for the female for false claims. But either way the damage is done to me or us….

International_Risk82 · 2021-08-22T05:06:12+00:00

Document details and secretly record her. If you can get solid evidence call the police on her.

SolDevelop · 2021-08-22T08:30:13+00:00

AndyBrown65 · 2021-08-22T11:52:41+00:00

Need to see a lawyer, but if she has assaulted you you need to document it and report it

DebSheep · 2021-08-22T03:59:16+00:00

Document details, tell as many people as you can who you can trust, and stop seeing her.

Hiimthegoodguy · 2021-08-22T12:50:12+00:00

Get a lawyer on it, cops will just seek the easiest solution. This does happen, you are not alone. In my case the abuse was mental.

Reception_Queasy · 2021-08-22T14:07:41+00:00

OP. Get all the necessary legal documentation and get her out of your life I.e get her off your insurance and get off as a beneficiary. Get a good lawyer. A great one. Also, do not cohabitate with her.

victorthekin · 2021-08-22T05:50:14+00:00

There's no defense possible because she'll lie in court, case immediatly dismissed, you arrested because she probably will bruise herself on purpose a bit before court to lie about that she had been attacked if you enable action against her its an lose situation and probably will only give her more. The justice system is fucked up all the way. Best is to run away with your stuff.

The only time you have an workable chance is when you have recordings and such. But i dont think you have evidence yet because otherwise you'd be going to court already without posting this.

Reddit1984Censorship · 2021-08-22T12:14:00+00:00

Call the cops and lawyes, have an audio or video recorder avaialbel at all times.
Evidence is your saviour.
Or witnesses as well if you can get otehrs to witness that might help as well.

ptroxler · 2021-08-22T12:19:36+00:00

Find out what you want. Cry. Stop crying Seek therapy, if you feel this could help.

DeadSkullMonkey · 2021-08-22T19:44:52+00:00

Screenshot texts if they indicate anything. Any evidence that will help you somewhat is always helpfull

General-Ad9818 · 2021-08-23T14:20:03+00:00

First of all, I want to say that I’m sorry your in that situation. No one should have to go through that

Secondly, you might need to stop seeing her before the violence gets worse. Try to find a good lawyer and gather evidence that might help you with your case.

Title	I need help
Author	Taco_flavored_tacos
Upvotes	136
Comments	31
Date	August 22, 2021 1:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/p93qyc/i_need_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-need-help.1059392 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059392

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