So I went on a date and at the end I asked if I could kiss her.

While kissing her I ran my hands over her back, ass and boobs. I can see now why this is going too far for some but for my sex life it was a standard thing. When one would go too far the other would break away and tell them to stop that. Like a girl might bite me and I’ll tell her to stop or maybe there’s too much tongue and she’ll tell me to ease up.

I get a text from this girl telling me she didn’t consent to the groping and doesn’t want to talk to me.

I honestly feel awful and went on reddit elsewhere only to be told I’m a creep. And I was a creep, I did something this girl didn’t like and I should’ve asked first.

But now I‘ve got this major anxiety about consent.

I thought I was doing it right, but it seems there’s a lot more on my shoulders than I realised. I use to depend on my partners telling me both yes and no. And I’m worried that I’ll be too in the moment or misread something as pleasure and forget to ask for consent.

Then there’s past experiences where women have told me it was a turn off when I asked as opposed to just using body language, or other times where I’ve done something on instinct and she’s later told me she was glad I picked up on that. That crap just mixes in and confuses me.

We all make slip ups but I didn’t think sexual assault was one of them. How much of consent is my responsibility and how do I do better?